SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: telegraph.co.uk 25.8.9
CAPTION: Old Twitter Tweeter Fart
While social networks are generally considered the preserve of the young, the anonymous pensioner behind the updates appears to have struck a tone with his grumpy world view.
His foul-mouthed put downs of all things modern, from actresses ("Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks") to answerphones – he's not a fan – are entertaining Twitter users of all ages.
More than 50,000 people have signed up to follow his feed, even though it was only launched three weeks ago and is updated sparingly.
Unlike celebrity Twitter users who attract media coverage and followers just by joining the site, the grandfather has built up his audience by word of mouth and through recommendations on social bookmarking websites.
The feed, @s---mydadsays, purports to be typed up by the man's son Justin.
The biography on the pages reads: "I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down s--- that he says."
In keeping with the neophobic tenor of the updates, he has declined to follow all but one of the users who have subscribed to his page.
HEADLINE: Priest to face indecency charges
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: theboltonnews.co.uk 25.8.9
CAPTION: Sadly, not strange, but a case of the past catching up to a pervert.
A priest has been charged with historic offences of indecency against girls 30 years ago, police said.
James Andrew Christopher Wilson, 60, of Calstock, near Plymouth, Devon, faces six charges relating to girls under 13, following a "lengthy investigation".
Mr Wilson, from Calstock, was charged with the committing offences which span 1977 and 1978 at Pennycross, Plymouth.
HEADLINE: Lego giraffe penis repeatedly stolen
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: news.com.au 25.8.9
CAPTION: PENIS THEFTS
VISITORS to a tourist attraction in Berlin have been making off with an unusual memento - the 30cm long penis of a Lego giraffe.
The Lego phallus belongs to a six metre tall model that has stood outside the entrance to the Legoland Discovery Centre on Potsdamer Platz since 2007.
"It's a popular souvenir," a spokeswoman for the centre said. "It's been stolen four times now ..."
The penis is made out of 15,000 Lego bricks
HEADLINE: Beer reward for bog standard loo seat
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: news.com.au 24.8.9
CAPTION: THE TOILET SEAT CAPER
IT supported the bare bums of his pub patrons for 15 years and Trev Inwood wants it back.
The Kiwi publican has offered a $NZ100 ($81) bar tab for the return of a plastic toilet seat stolen from his Christchurch tavern last week.
Inwood says he was shocked someone had opted to steal the bog-standard seat but conceded there "might have be a bit of nostalgia ... a souvenir'', as it had been around longer than the fancy new seats installed in recent renovations at the Belfast Tavern.
"Some bugger must have unbolted it from the back and taken it out of the boozer with no-one seeing it,'' he told The Press.
Replacing the seat without fuss would have been the "easy option'', but that was not the point, he said.
"I'm actually looking forward to paying out the $100 so that the guy can enjoy a beer and we'll have a laugh about it.
HEADLINE: Botox 'the new hair dye' for Gen Y
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: news.com.au 24.8.9
CAPTION: A BOTOXED GENERATION
YOUNG women are turning to Botox to follow fleeting fashion trends, and are as blasé about using it as hair dye, cosmetic surgeons say.
While their older counterparts are more concerned with fixing lines and wrinkles, women in their 20s are flocking to change the shape of their eyebrows and lips for as little as three months, experts say.
The head of the Cosmetic Physicians Society, Dr Gabrielle Caswell, said getting Botox had become as acceptable as dying hair.
"A lot of the girls are using it as a fashion trend," Dr Caswell said.
"They do like the plump lips ... and it's very trendy to have flanged outer eyebrows."
She said some young women also had frown-lines flattened, but the overwhelming majority just want a new style.
Bondi cosmetic surgeon Michael Zacharia said reshaped eyebrows were particularly popular with women in their 20s.
HEADLINE: Can't see your ankles? Maybe it's 'cankles'
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: CNN.com 24.8.9
CAPTION: LEGS
Barbara Simone of Glen Burnie, Maryland, considers herself terribly flawed. She refuses to show her ankles and she'd never allow them to be photographed. She barely wants to talk about them; in fact, when asked about her legs, she mumbles under her breath that she hates them. ....
Far from being a medical term, "cankles" is slang for the part of the leg where the ankle meets the calf when there is no definition or indentation. In most cases, cankles are just large ankles -- what used to be called "big bones." But in society's quest for all things thin and shapely, big-boned ankles have taken on a name -- and a life -- of their own.
According to podiatrists, the average ankle size is about 10 to 11 inches around; men's ankles may be a little larger. The American Podiatric Medical Association does not recognize cankles as a medical problem, but according to Dr. Kathya Zinszer, a physician at Temple University's School of Podiatric Medicine, cankles can be caused by all types of medical issues.
HEADLINE: Dob in toilet glue pranksters, city told
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: news.com.au 24.8.9
CAPTION: STUCK ON YOU
PRANKSTERS glued an elderly man's bottom to a toilet seat in the public loos at a shopping centre, forcing him to sit tight during a highly embarrassing rescue.
The Cairns man was stuck so fast he had to be taken from the men’s toilets with the toilet seat still attached, in full view of a gathering crowd of curious Cairns Central shoppers.
Shopping centre security had heard his calls for help from inside the cubicle and called ambulance officers.
He was taken by ambulance to Cairns Base Hospital where it is understood industrial-strength solvents were used to dissolve the glue, Cairns.com.au reports. It said the victim was a 70-year-old man, while other reports said he was 58.
HEADLINE: Hospital surgeons operated on wrong patient
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: Telegraph.co.uk 23.8.9
CAPTION: OOPS
The unlucky patient at the hospital in London underwent a lung operation that should have been carried out on his namesake who was left behind in the ward.
The blunder is just one of a catalogue of medical mistakes that has led to a 20 per cent rise in the amount of compensation paid to patients who are the victims of botched hospital treatment.
This week it was revealed compensation to patients surged to an all-time high of £769m which means more than £2m every day is paid on average to the 16 people who lodge claims against the NHS every 24 hours.
As well as the lung operation confusion it has been disclosed that another blunder saw the gall bladder removed from the incorrect person.
HEADLINE: Tiny tots' dance party in red-light district
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: news.com.au 23.8.9
CAPTION: STARTING THEM EARLIER
JUST hours after the heaving crowds of Sydney's seedy nightclub district dispersed, a crowd of mums lined up to let their young children loose on the dance floor.
Parents flocked to Oxford St yesterday as Slide nightclub opened its doors for Australia's first Baby Loves Disco event - where children under the age of seven go clubbing, wear feather boas, swill organic apple juice and get temporary tattoos.
While the kids go wild on the flashing dance floor, under the watchful eye of babysitters, upstairs parents can have a drink at the bar.
It's hard to tell who was having the most fun - the children or their parents.
HEADLINE: Man Who Kept Mom on Ice 'Wants to Be Left Alone'
SOURCE AND DATE OF CLIP: FOXNews.com 23.8.9
CAPTION: MOM'S COLD AS ICE
MADISON, Wis. — True to his word, a hermit who encased his dead mother in a block of ice keeps to himself in solitary confinement by threatening people, swearing at guards or simply refusing to leave his cell.
Philip Schuth told a newspaper when he was sentenced to prison in 2005 that he feared other inmates and wanted to live in solitary confinement. Prison conduct reports show Schuth, 56, has been working to do that, earning more than 1,400 days in solitary.
"He's somebody who just wants to be left alone," said Schuth's attorney, Michael Lieberman. "It appears in his mind keeping himself in solitary confinement is the best way to keep himself safe."
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