RECENT HEADLINES

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Caption: So, go ahead and fire me

Headline: County Grants Commissioner's Request To Be Fired
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: So, go ahead and fire me
Cheboygan County plans to fire its drain commissioner _ at his request.

The board of commissioners approved a resolution Wednesday to abolish the post of drain commissioner. Dennis Lennox was elected last November after campaigning on a promise to get rid of the job.

He says it's not needed because Cheboygan County has no drains to regulate.

State law requires that counties with more than 12,000 residents elect a drain commissioner. The post dates to Michigan's statehood in 1837, when local officials were in charge of developing and managing drainage ditches to eradicate swamplands.

Headline: Gang After Drugs Holds Up Family at Wrong Address
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: Sorry, Wrong Place, But While We're Here...
sA British family settling down for a dinner party were held up by an armed gang who burst into their house and threatened their 5-year-old daughter.

The gang of up to five men, all wearing hats or hoods with scarves covering their faces, demanded that the terrified owners and their two guests tell them where they "kept the drugs."

The family could not give the gang what they wanted because the men had targeted the wrong home in Croydon, South London.

Frustrated at their lack of success, the gang threatened to hurt the young girl and a shot was fired.

The family and friends were waiting for another couple on Saturday night when there was a knock at the door. When the homeowner opened the door he was confronted by the masked gang who forced him back into the dining room.

He suffered minor injuries as he was bundled back into the house and was hit with the gun.

The little girl began crying and the gang said they would hurt her unless the adults handed over the drugs.

Eventually the gang was persuaded that there were no drugs in the house, so they took everyone's cell phones and jewelry.

Headline: Nude nuptials for 250-guest wedding
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: Nudies in Wedding
ELLIE Barton and Phil Hendicott will bare all when the couple tie the knot au naturel as part of a radio station's naked wedding competition in Brisbane.


And for Ellie, at least, it will be a welcome relief from the daily fitness workouts the couple have endured in the lead-up to their flesh-fest nuptials, which will take place before 250 (fully clothed) guests at Brisbane's upmarket Gianni's Events restaurant at Portside.

"We started working out with a personal trainer the day we found out we won the competition," Ellie admitted to Confidential ahead of tomorrow's wedding.

"When I first started I said to him: 'Right, this is what I want us to work on - abs and bum.' So ever since then he has been killing me every morning.


Headline: Satellites Crash in Unprecedented Space Smash-Up
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: Space Odyssey Smash-up
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — Two big communications satellites collided in the first-ever crash of two intact spacecraft in orbit, shooting out a pair of massive debris clouds and posing a slight risk to the international space station.

NASA said it will take weeks to determine the full magnitude of the crash, which occurred nearly 500 miles over Siberia on Tuesday.

"We knew this was going to happen eventually," said Mark Matney, an orbital debris scientist at Johnson Space Center in Houston.

NASA believes any risk to the space station and its three astronauts should be low. It orbits about 270 miles below the collision course. There also should be no danger to the space shuttle set to launch with seven astronauts on Feb. 22, officials said, but that will be re-evaluated in the coming days....


Headline: Man Runs Out Of Gas After Robbing Gas Station
Clip from: CBSnews
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: Condoms And The Economy
Authorities said they arrested a man who apparently forgot to fill up when he was robbing a gas station. The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office said a 23-year-old man used a Bowie knife to rob a Cape Haze gas station early Sunday. Deputies said the man pulled the 12-inch blade and demanded money. But when he left, a customer followed him and called 911.

While deputies were looking for signs of the robber, a newspaper carrier told them that a man in a car matching the one from the robbery had run out of gas nearby.

Headline: Sagging sales for global condom king
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: Condoms And The Economy
THE libido-draining effect of the global financial crisis has been demonstrated in the full-year earnings guidance downgrade of rubber glove and condom maker Ansell.
Ansell chief executive Doug Tough said weaker sales in November and December had led to the revision of full-year earnings forecast to a range between US65c and US70c a share.

This is 2 per cent down from its earlier forecast of US70-74c a share, The Daily Telegraph reports.

In the condoms division, total sales were slightly lower. While sales of branded condoms were robust and with overwhelming US demand for Ansell's new SKYN polyisoprene condom, it wasn't enough to prop up its private label division's sagging sales.

Headline: Cops: Teen Billed School for $37,000 Worth of Candy
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: The Candy Man Can
MIDDLETOWN, Ohio — Police say an Ohio teenager tried to pull off a sweet deal by ordering more than $37,000 of candy online and charging the bill to his former high school.

Police say the 18-year-old used a Middletown High School purchasing number to place orders for thousands of lollipops and candy bars from Michigan-based The Goodies Factory. It wasn't clear how he accessed the number.

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