Another 911 Call

Headline: Man Calls 911 After Clerk Refuses To Sell Beer
Clip from: cbsnews.com
Date of clip: 10.2.9
Caption: Dumb 911 call

Authorities said a 40-year-old man was arrested for calling 911 to complain about a convenience store clerk. The man was charged with disorderly conduct and released on bond according to jail records.

Officials said a convenience store clerk called 911 early Saturday morning and told the dispatcher that a customer was threatening her because she would not sell him any more beer.

Headline: Man Calls 911 After Eatery Runs Out Of Lemonade
Clip from: cbsnews.com
Date of clip: 9.2.9
Caption: Dumb 911 call

Authorities said a man, 66, was arrested after calling 911 on Saturday to complain that a fast food restaurant ran out of lemonade. After a drive-through employee failed to respond to the man's threat of contacting the police, the irate diner called 911, a police report alleges.

He spent about 5 minutes talking to the 911 operator about his complaint.

Headline: Scientists create 'living' doll made of human cancer cells
Clip from: telegraph.co.uk
Date of clip: 9.2.9
Caption: Sick Doll

A "living" doll made of human cancer cells has been created by scientists to illustrate a new method of testing potentially life-saving treatments.

The cancer cell figure created by Japanese scientists Photo: Shoji Takeuchi
The 5mm high figure – which bears a passing resemblance to a jelly baby – was created from liver cancer cells held in place with the help of 100,000 capsules of collagen.

Each capsule was also coated with special cells that secreted a protein which helped bind the 3D structure.

The entity's humorous shape was created with a specially-made mould, but scientists at the University of Tokyo say that the technique has serious medical applications.

Shoji Takeuchi, who led the team at the Institute of Industrial Science, says that it will enable researchers to create a range of structures containing multiple cell types, allowing them to test cancer drugs in environments more closely resembling the human body.

Headline: 56-Year-Old Becomes First Woman to Swim Atlantic
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 8.2.9
Caption: Astonishing Feat

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico — Jennifer Figge pressed her toes into the Caribbean sand, exhilarated and exhausted as she touched land this week for the first time in almost a month.

Reaching a beach in Trinidad, she became the first woman on record to swim across the Atlantic Ocean — a dream she'd had since the early 1960s, when a stormy trans-Atlantic flight got her thinking she could don a life vest and swim the rest of the way if needed.

The 56-year-old left the Cape Verde Islands off Africa's western coast on Jan. 12, battling waves of up to 30 feet and strong winds.

Headline: Police: Robber Offers Crash Victim Hush Money
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 8.2.9
Caption: Robber offers stolen loot to crash victim as hush money

A suspected bank robber is behind bars after a woman whose car he hit during the getaway declined a share of the booty to keep quiet. According to investigators, a 46-year-old man walked into a branch of Bank of the West at noon Thursday and handed an employee a note demanding money.

Investigators said the man fled with the cash, but a few minutes later collided with another car. The driver told police that the man explained he had just robbed a bank and offered her a share of the take to keep quiet.

Headline: N.C. Racers Run 2 Miles, Eat 12 Doughnuts, Return
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.2.9
Caption: ALL FOR DOUGHNUTS

In a charity race Saturday, more than 5,000 runners ran two miles to a downtown Raleigh Krispy Kreme shop, ate a dozen glazed doughnuts each and returned to North Carolina State University in less than an hour.

That's 2,400 calories and 144 grams of fat consumed while burning about 400 calories during the run.

The student-run Krispy Kreme Challenge raised about $35,000 for the North Carolina Children's...

Pervert or Immature - You Decide

Headline: Virgin golfer fined for mid-air fondle
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.1.9
Caption:Pervert or Immature - You Decide

AN up-and-coming golfer who fondled a woman's breast on an international flight has escaped conviction after being labelled "massively immature" by a magistrate.

Leighton Lyle, the 2007 Victorian amateur champion who earned his Australasian professional tour card last month, was seated next to the woman on a Los Angeles to Melbourne flight in April of that year.

She awoke to feel her nipple being tugged and the top half of her breast exposed, the Melbourne Magistrates Court was told today.

The court was told the victim was significantly affected by the incident, which occurred while Lyle was returning home from caddying for his brother, professional golfer Jarrod Lyle, on the US PGA tour.

Headline: North Carolina Student Arrested During Snowball Fight
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.1.9
Caption: Snowball to jail

Campus police at East Carolina University said they made one arrest and used pepper spray on some students as officers tried to control a huge snowball fight on campus.

Police were called to a dormitory three times as more than 200 students pelted each other with snowballs as a rare snowstorm dropped several inches of snow in eastern North Carolina on Tuesday, The Daily Reflector of Greenville reported Thursday.

Some witnesses said they were hit hard by indiscriminately hurled snowballs.

Assault With Burger

Headline: Man Allegedly Assaults Girlfriend With Burger
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Way to go chicken!

A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff's Office arrest report said a 22-year-old man and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.

The report said the man would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed the cheeseburger into her face.

Headline: 'Evil' Mom Convicted of Locking Up Daughter for Reward
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Asshole mother locks up daughter for money.

The mother of young British girl has been convicted, along with her boyfriend’s uncle, of kidnapping her own nine-year-old daughter in an unlikely plot to keep thousands of pounds in reward money.

Karen Matthews hatched the plan with Michael Donovan, who took young Shannon Matthews to his apartment and imprisoned her for 24 days, while her mother made emotional appeals for her return.

The jury at Leeds Crown Court today found the pair guilty of kidnapping, false imprisonment and perverting the course of justice. Justice McCombe warned the defendants that they faced a “substantial custodial sentence” before they were led away in custody.

Headline: Brains a poor second to kids who laugh
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Ha, Ha, Ha.

IT's no joke: parents would rather their children grow up to be comedians than brain surgeons. A survey of more than 300 mums and dads found more than 39 per cent wanted their child to have a good sense of humour - nearly 21 per cent wanted them to be extremely intelligent. Good looks came third, with nearly 16 per cent of people wanting their kids to be attractive.

Headline: Pizzeria Mistakenly Butchers Deer Near Customer
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Not deer dear.

An Allentown pizzeria said venison is not on the menu despite the impression a customer may have gotten when she saw one of the cooks butchering a deer in the shop's kitchen. John Okumus, the manager of Stromboli Pizza, called Tuesday's incident a huge misunderstanding.

Okumus said he shot a doe and planned to give it to his friend. He wrapped the animal in plastic and dropped it off in a back area of the kitchen, hoping the friend would pick it up. Okumus then went home.

He said a cook mistakenly started butchering the deer, and a customer saw what was happening.

Headline:Cash-strapped teacher sells ads on tests
Clip from: CNNews.com
Date of clip: 3.12.8
Caption: There are adverts everywhere anyways.

In tests for teacher Tom Farber's high school class, students can demonstrate their mastery of calculus and find out where to get braces or even a haircut.
Calculus teacher Tom Farber is selling ad space on tests to defray printing costs.
Squeezed by classroom budget cuts, the Rancho Bernardo High School teacher is selling ads on his exams to cover the costs of printing them.

"My intention is, [selling ads] is a stopgap measure," said Farber. "I don't want to be doing this year after year."

Headline: Man Uses Candy Cane To Subdue Attacker With Knife
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 3.12.8
Caption: take that

A man using a candy cane lawn ornament fended off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home. Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong saID the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He said the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn.

He cut several peoples' clothing before one of them decided to fight back.