Tipsy Bird Brain

Headline:Memphis Birds Get Tipsy From Fermented Fruit
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 1.3.9
Caption: Tipsy Bird Brain

Some drunks got out of hand, but instead of barflies it was birds intoxicated from eating fermented fruit. The Health Department investigated after receiving calls this week about dead and floundering Cedar waxwing birds.

An investigator told The Commercial Appeal he traced the problem to berries from nearby holly trees. Recent freezes ruptured berry cells, allowing the wild yeast to convert sugars into alcohol.

The birds apparently got tipsy from consuming the fermented berries and crashed into buildings

Headline: Man, 26, Has Stomach Removed to Prevent Cancer
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 1.3.9
Caption: This is a strange move, but worth it.

A 26-year-old North Carolina man has taken the drastic step of having his stomach removed to prevent a rare stomach cancer that runs in his family, ABC News reported Monday.

Brian Chelcun, of Huntersville, N.C., had his stomach removed two weeks ago at Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital.

The procedure may seem extreme, but for Chelcun, it was a no-brainer.

"I was seeing my dad go through the effects of having stage IV stomach cancer," Chelcun, whose father died Feb. 8 of the disease, told ABC News. "Here's a chance to avoid (getting) something that is a hard and difficult thing to cure."

Chelcun's family, on his father's side, carries a rare genetic mutation that leads to an increased risk of developing gastric cancer, which is hard to diagnose and has a five-year survival rate of just 24 percent.

Headline: Net dream cars 'imaginary rip-offs'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 1.3.9
Caption: When it's too good to be true..

THEY are the cars that were not there. Internet fraudsters are posting ads on popular online trading hubs for motor vehicles which don't exist.
Police are investigating the case of a 35-year-old Sydney man who lost $10,600 after responding to an ad on the Trading Post website for a 1990 Porsche 911.

The man - who would only be identified as Joe because he feels so embarrassed - told The Daily Telegraph: "I know I am never going to get my money back. I found a car on Trading Post, emailed the seller and they responded quickly.

He sent money to the seller via Western Union.

"Now I find out it was a scam," he said.

Joe said Trading Post was "completely disinterested". "They said to me, 'What do you want us to do?'."

A spokeswoman for Telstra-subsidiary Sensis, which owns Trading Post, admitted the scam had not been detected by its trust and safety team.

"We strongly advise buyers to use common sense when transacting online," spokeswoman Danielle Horan said.

Headline: Woman gave birth and had heart surgery at same time
Clip from: BBC.co.uk.
Date of clip: 1.3.9
Caption: Have baby while having heart surgery

Rachael Joy, 36, initially went to hospital suffering from chest pains but doctors believed she just had a bad cough and sent her home.

Hours later she started coughing up blood, returned to hospital and doctors discovered she had aortic dissection, a rare and dangerous heart condition.

Mrs Joy, who was 36 weeks pregnant with her first baby, would have died from heart failure within 48 hours if the condition had been left untreated.

Even operating immediately meant she had a 25 per cent chance of dying on the operating table.

She said: "Suddenly I had an oxygen mask on my face and there were eight consultants in my room. I knew it wasn't good. They explained they needed to do an operation."

As she was anaesthetised Mrs Joy asked for her baby's life to be saved over her own.

Doctors first performed a caesarean and her son Charlie was born, weighing 5lbs 4oz. Then, surgeons started performing a marathon six hours of open heart surgery.

Headline: 'Sexercise' yourself into shape
Clip from: BBC.co.uk.
Date of clip: 1.3.9
Caption: Beautiful Agony

'Sexercise' yourself into shape

Forget about jogging round the block, the NHS says
The NHS has some new advice for people struggling to schedule a fitness routine into their daily lives - a workout between the sheets.

According to the NHS Direct website, "sexercise" can lower the risk of heart attacks and helps people live longer.

Endorphins released during orgasm stimulate immune system cells, which also helps target illnesses like cancer, as well as wrinkles, it states.

Sexual health experts said such claims could not be scientifically proven.

"It's good to see the NHS are promoting sexual wellbeing," Dr Melissa Sayer told the Guardian newspaper.

Headline: Man Allegedly Steals Ambulance That Came To Crash
Clip from: CBSnewscom.
Date of clip: 1.3.9
Caption: Crash Victim 'I'll Drive Myself"

A man was arrested for allegedly stealing an ambulance that arrived to help him after a car crash. The California Highway Patrol said a 20-year-old man drove his Honda Accord off State Route 299 and over an embankment into several trees Thursday night.

When emergency personnel arrived, he refused treatment. Instead he hopped into the ambulance and sped away.

CHP officers and Humboldt County deputies gave chase and managed to disable the ambulance by laying spikes on the road.

Headline: Woman fired for singing at work
Clip from: Canada.com.
Date of clip: 28.2.9
Caption: Singing in the Rain

A 47-year-old woman from Ghana has won six months' wages as compensation after her Italian employer fired her for singing on the job, her labour union said yesterday. Mirco Rota, secretary-general of the CGIL steelworkers' branch in Bergamo, northern Italy, said the woman -- a long-term employee who had lived in the country for 20 years -- was fired from a metalworking shop for "singing and bothering her colleagues." "That's ridiculous, given that her work -- hammering metal -- meant she couldn't be heard beyond one metre," he said.

Bird Puke

Headline: Bird vomit helped them survive
Clip from: FOXews.com
Date of clip: 24.1.9
Caption: Bird Puke

Two men who spent 25 days lost at sea in a giant icebox survived their extraordinary ordeal thanks to rainwater from tropical storms and fish spat out by passing birds, a report said Wednesday.

The men, who were rescued on Saturday, are being interviewed by Australian immigration officials hoping to clarify how they came to be drifting in shark-infested waters off the country's northern coast.

The pair told the Sydney Morning Herald they drank only rainwater and ate small fish regurgitated by seabirds after their Thai fishing boat broke up in huge waves on Dec. 23.
"For 10 days, nothing to eat," one of the men told the paper through an interpreter. "Then two big seabirds came and vomited some small fish-- about six or seven little fish."

Headline: Pair Seeking Leniency Allegedly Go Before Judge Drunk
Clip from: FOXews.com
Date of clip: 24.1.9
Caption: Real Brainy Move

A southeastern Pennsylvania man and woman seeking leniency on public drunkenness fines he hasn't paid have now been cited for public drunkenness in the judge's office.

The pair visited District Judge Rodney Hartman's office in New Holland on Wednesday. They were responding to a warrant notice over fines the man owes for an October public drunkenness conviction. He said he didn't have money to pay.

Someone noticed that the two appeared drunk at the judge's office. Police gave Breathalyzer tests and say the two had blood-alcohol levels far above the legal limits for driving.

Headline: Brewer's droop an old wives' tale
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 24.1.9
Caption: Alcohol Aids Erection

IT gives the phrase "a stiff drink" a whole new meaning: Australian researchers have made the surprise discovery that alcohol improves, rather than damages, men's performance in the bedroom. They hope the finding, which flies in the face of conventional belief, will reassure men who worry about the affects of drinking on their sex lives.

Until now, it has been widely believed alcohol consumption could cause erectile dysfunction, commonly called "brewer's droop''.

But a study of 1580 Australian men has shown the reverse may be true, with drinkers reporting as many as 30 per cent fewer problems than teetotallers.

Even binge drinkers had lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who never drank, although this type of drinking can cause other health problems...

Headline: Man charged in nutty attack
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 24.1.9
Caption: Peanut OilCaper

A MAN has been charged with assault using peanut oil he allegedly smeared on a car door handle to make his allergic former fiancee ill, police said.
Police in Burlington,Ontario, Canada, said the 49-year-old woman became sick after touching her car door handle and was treated for an allergic reaction to nuts at a nearby medical clinic.

She suffered no serious lasting effects.

"It is an unusual case, but it's also very serious because the victim could have had an allergy attack while driving and gotten into an accident," Sergeant Brian Carr said.

Headline: Woman Arrested for Unreturned Library Book
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.1.9
Caption: Library Book Caper

An Iowa woman was arrested because she failed to return a library book.

Shelly Koontz, 39, was arrested Thursday night on a fifth-degree theft charge. She is accused of keeping "The Freedom Writers Diary," which she checked out from the public library in nearby Jesup in April.

Police say the book — which is about a high school teacher's effort to inspire students to write — is valued at $13.95.

Court records show library employees tried repeatedly to contact Koontz by phone and mail. A police officer even visited her home last September.

Headline: Hostess told to dress more 'sexy'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 23.1.9
Caption: Not Sexy Enough To Be a Airline Hostess

Dress debate ... Karin Keegan says a male JetBlue employee told her to change into a lower-cut shirt and tighter pants before letting her on a plane / AFP
A FEMALE flight attendant is suing a US airline after allegedly being denied a flight because she wasn't dressed provocatively enough. Thirty-seven-year-old Karin Keegan says a male JetBlue employee told her to change into a lower-cut shirt and tighter pants before letting her on a plane, reports the Associated Press.

"Ms Keegan changed into more provocative clothes, but (the employee) told her she was too late to board the plane and should have dressed like that before," said the lawsuit, which has been filed...

How much is that birdie in the window?

Headline: 1,500 Parakeets Rescued From 2-room ApartmentClip From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 18.12.8
Caption: How much is that birdie in the window?

Berlin officials said they have rescued 1,500 parakeets from a two-room apartment. City veterinarian Margit Platzer said the birds were flying freely around the apartment, which was "littered with feces, feathers and leftover food." Platzer said it took her team more than seven hours on Tuesday to catch all the birds with nets.

HEADLINE: Weather rocket kills man and blows up his body at cremation
Clip from: telegraph.co.uk
Date of clip: 18.12.8
Caption: Blown up twice - dead once

The body of Wang Diange, from the Chinese province of Inner Mongolia, was found in the wreckage of a house where he had been overseeing the wake of a previous family funeral, after mourners felt a loud explosion which took off half the roof.

As it was raining and thundery, they decided that the house, and Mr Wang in particular, had been struck by lightning. The police came to the same conclusion.

Further inquiries were made a few days later after Mr Wang's own funeral. As his body was being put into the cremation chamber, it blew up spectacularly, bursting the doors off the oven.

Headline: Fast-food Worker Laughs, Tells Robber To Get A Job
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: TWO, TWO, TWO DUMBIES IN ONE

A San Antonio fast-food restaurant cashier laughed at a robbery suspect and told him to get a job if he wanted money during a failed holdup on Tuesday evening.

Police said the suspect approached the worker and demanded money, but the cashier laughed and apparently didn't realize the man was trying to hold up the place.

Headline: Heart Found On Floor Of The Paw Paw Car Wash
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Someone's Heartless

Investigators are trying to determine if a heart found at on the floor of a southwestern Michigan car wash is from a human or an animal. The heart will be examined at a Lansing hospital's forensics services division.

WOOD-TV in Grand Rapids and WWMT-TV in Kalamazoo reported that the heart was discovered Monday by the owner of the Paw Paw car wash.

Headline: Burger King unveils body spray
Clip from: guardian.co.uk
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Meaty Body Spray

Burger King releases fragrance described as 'the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat'

Headline: Headbangers urged to brace themselves
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Hitman's Movie Deal

HEAVY metal fans are being urged to wear a neck brace or ditch their love of hard music to stop head and neck injuries.

Headline: Former Hit Man for Boston Mob Gets Movie Deal
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Hitman's Movie Deal

The former hit man for a Boston crime family may soon see his sordid life story on the big screen, "GoodFellas"-style, after selling the rights to a Hollywood movie producer -- and the law enforcement agent who helped him cop a plea is not happy with the money deal.

John V. Martorano pleaded guilty in 1999 to killing 20 people in exchange for becoming a government witness. Now he's sold the rights to his mob tale for an undisclosed sum to Graham King of GK Films in Santa Monica, Calif.

Headline: Man, 98, confronts intruder after Bolton bedroom raid
Clip from: thisislancashire.co.uk
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: This dude is spry for his age

A 98-year-old pensioner woke up in his bedroom to find a burglar going through his wardrobe and drawers.

The elderly man was asleep in his home in Bridgewater Street, Walkden, between 9.30pm and 10pm on Saturday when the attempted robbery took place.

The raider ran downstairs and searched for more of the pensioner's property to steal.