Dragging the line

Headline: Diamond Theft in Drag
Clip from: FOXNewsews.com
Date of clip: 5.12.8
Caption: Bad Girls Or Bad Girls?

Cross-dressing robbers make off with $100 million in loot from a Harry Winston store in Paris

Headline: Man Allegedly Attacks Speed Camera With Pickax
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 5.12.8
Caption: maybe he thought he could beat the speeding fine.

A 26-year-old man faces criminal charges after being accused of using a pickax to attack a speed enforcement camera recently installed along a Phoenix-area freeway.

The state Department of Public Safety said Travis Munroe Townsend was arrested and booked into jail Thursday on a charge of felony damage and misdemeanor counts of interference with a traffic control device and criminal trespass.

The DPS said a motorcycle officer parked under an overpass heard loud banging noises and saw a man swinging a pickax at a stationary camera late Wednesday night.

Headline: Man Allegedly Assaults Girlfriend With Burger
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Way to go chicken!

A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff's Office arrest report said a 22-year-old man and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.

The report said the man would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed the cheeseburger into her face.

Headline: 'Evil' Mom Convicted of Locking Up Daughter for Reward
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Asshole mother locks up daughter for money.

The mother of young British girl has been convicted, along with her boyfriend’s uncle, of kidnapping her own nine-year-old daughter in an unlikely plot to keep thousands of pounds in reward money.

Karen Matthews hatched the plan with Michael Donovan, who took young Shannon Matthews to his apartment and imprisoned her for 24 days, while her mother made emotional appeals for her return.

The jury at Leeds Crown Court today found the pair guilty of kidnapping, false imprisonment and perverting the course of justice. Justice McCombe warned the defendants that they faced a “substantial custodial sentence” before they were led away in custody.

Headline: Brains a poor second to kids who laugh
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Ha, Ha, Ha.

IT's no joke: parents would rather their children grow up to be comedians than brain surgeons. A survey of more than 300 mums and dads found more than 39 per cent wanted their child to have a good sense of humour - nearly 21 per cent wanted them to be extremely intelligent. Good looks came third, with nearly 16 per cent of people wanting their kids to be attractive.

Headline: Pizzeria Mistakenly Butchers Deer Near Customer
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Not deer dear.

An Allentown pizzeria said venison is not on the menu despite the impression a customer may have gotten when she saw one of the cooks butchering a deer in the shop's kitchen. John Okumus, the manager of Stromboli Pizza, called Tuesday's incident a huge misunderstanding.

Okumus said he shot a doe and planned to give it to his friend. He wrapped the animal in plastic and dropped it off in a back area of the kitchen, hoping the friend would pick it up. Okumus then went home.

He said a cook mistakenly started butchering the deer, and a customer saw what was happening.

Cardboard Robber

Headline: Full-size Cardboard Figure Causes NJ Bank Standoff
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 29.11.8
Caption: Would the police not have notice that the figure had not moved in the time it took to seal off the area?

A standoff at a New Jersey bank is over after police learned a "person" seen inside was actually a full-size cardboard figure.

Officers went to the PNC Bank in Montgomery Township on Thursday night after an alarm went off. They saw what they thought was at least one person through the windows of the bank, which had its blinds drawn.

The area was sealed off and three nearby apartment buildings were evacuated as a precaution. Meanwhile, authorities used bullhorns and made telephone calls in a bid to make contact with whoever might be in the bank.

After repeatedly failing to get a response, a SWAT team entered the building and discovered the cardboard figure.

Headline: Drug-smeared boobs knock out robbed men
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: Drug-laced boobs knockout robbery victims

UGANDA'S police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious.
"They apply this chemical to their chest. We have found victims in an unconscious state," Criminal Investigations Directorate (CID) spokesman Fred Enanga said.

"You find the person stripped totally naked and everything is taken from him," he said.

"And the victim doesn't remember anything. He just remembers being in the act of romancing." ...

Headline: Ill. Zoo Creates Ornaments From Reindeer Droppings
Clip from: CBSnews.com.
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: Just Shit

The Christmas ornaments for sale at the Miller Park Zoo's gift shop are partly manufactured by reindeer. Honest!

Staffers make decorations out of droppings from the zoo's two reindeer, Ealu and Rika. The droppings are dried, then clear-coated and either painted or rolled in glitter.

Zoo marketing director Susie Ohley has named the products "magical reindeer gem ornaments," and each comes with a label of authenticity. They cost $5 at the zoo gift shop.

Staffer Katie Buydos, who makes jewelry as a hobby, donated wire and beads, saying, "Susie asked me to bring some creativity to the table."

Headline:High Heels For UK Babies
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: High heeled babies

Lulu Sinclair, Sky News Online
The latest accessory for the baby who has everything has just arrived in the UK - a pair of high heels.
A chance for trendy mums to get baby into the party spirit.
The shoes originate in America but have been introduced to British shores by Julia Taylor, herself mother to a young daughter...

Headline: Cranky kid crashes teacher's car
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Bad kid

AN eight-year-old German schoolboy who wanted to complain to his mother about being sent out of class took his teacher's car and crashed it.
The boy, banished from class for disrupting a lesson, pinched the 40-year-old teacher's car key when she was not looking and managed to start up her compact car, accelerating and putting the vehicle into first gear.
"The little fellow drove for about 25m before crashing into a Volvo, also parked in the car park outside the school," a police spokesman in the eastern German city of Zwickau said...

Headline: Judge Allows Civil Suit Over Co-worker's Perfume
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Smelly

A federal judge says a Detroit city employee can proceed with a civil suit claiming she couldn't work because of a co-worker's strong perfume.

The Detroit News says U.S. District Judge Lawrence Zatkoff determined Susan McBride has a potential claim under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The city is asking to have the suit dismissed.

Headline: Girl Injured When Dad Drops Electric Saw on Her
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: A weird but very sad story.

A 9-year-old eastern Missouri girl is seriously injured after she was struck by an electric saw her father was using to trim trees.
Rock Community Fire Protection District officials say the Arnold girl was standing below a ladder Wednesday afternoon when her father accidentally dropped the saw. It struck her in the neck and caused extensive bleeding.

Headline: Bat girl 1, intruder 0
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Take That!

NEVER mess with a young woman who has three brothers who love baseball. Sarah Carr, 20, owes her life to her brothers' sport after she swung a baseball bat, fighting off a screwdriver-wielding attacker who barged into her house.

With just two swings, the fearless young woman managed to disarm the bandit and knock him to the ground.

She then watched as he hobbled off down the street. But had it not been for her sports-mad brothers, Ms Carr said the outcome could have been very different.

HEALINE: Thief Uses Lubricant To Swipe Ring On Woman's Hand
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: KY Jelly would do the job too.

Police said a thief used a Vaseline-like lubricant to swipe an expensive ring off an elderly woman's hand in broad daylight. Authorities said two men bumped 80-year-old Helen Artim's car, then asked her to open her trunk to check for damage.

Police said the suspect ran his hand over hers, covering it with "some type of lubricant," then used a towel to wipe it off. It's then that police believe he slipped the ring off Artim's finger. The piece of jewelry was valued between $20,000 to $30,000.

Headline: Accused Drunk Driver Ends Up Running Over Himself
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: Smart move

... A tip to the state's DrunkBuster hot line Sunday afternoon alerted authorities to a possibly drunken driver.

State Police Officer Grace Romero spotted the man's pickup truck swerving across both lanes of a highway, driving slowly and then fast. He refused to stop.

After narrowly missing other vehicles, police said the suspect drove through a ditch and a barbed-wire fence before stopping. He tried to put the truck into park, but it ended up in reverse.

Police said the man fell from his open door and both of his legs were run over by the front driver's side tire.

Headline: Superg-Looed: Man Stuck To Toilet
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: Stuck to the loo my darling.

A 35-year-old man has been taken to hospital stuck to a public toilet after a prankster covered the seat with glue.

Boobs Capers

Headline: Drug-smeared boobs knock out robbed men
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: Drug-laced boobs knockout robbery victims

UGANDA'S police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious.
"They apply this chemical to their chest. We have found victims in an unconscious state," Criminal Investigations Directorate (CID) spokesman Fred Enanga said.

"You find the person stripped totally naked and everything is taken from him," he said.

"And the victim doesn't remember anything. He just remembers being in the act of romancing." ...

Headline: Ill. Zoo Creates Ornaments From Reindeer Droppings
Clip from: CBSnews.com.
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: Just Shit

The Christmas ornaments for sale at the Miller Park Zoo's gift shop are partly manufactured by reindeer. Honest!

Staffers make decorations out of droppings from the zoo's two reindeer, Ealu and Rika. The droppings are dried, then clear-coated and either painted or rolled in glitter.

Zoo marketing director Susie Ohley has named the products "magical reindeer gem ornaments," and each comes with a label of authenticity. They cost $5 at the zoo gift shop.

Staffer Katie Buydos, who makes jewelry as a hobby, donated wire and beads, saying, "Susie asked me to bring some creativity to the table."

Headline:High Heels For UK Babies
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: High heeled babies

Lulu Sinclair, Sky News Online
The latest accessory for the baby who has everything has just arrived in the UK - a pair of high heels.
A chance for trendy mums to get baby into the party spirit.
The shoes originate in America but have been introduced to British shores by Julia Taylor, herself mother to a young daughter...

Headline: Cranky kid crashes teacher's car
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Bad kid

AN eight-year-old German schoolboy who wanted to complain to his mother about being sent out of class took his teacher's car and crashed it.
The boy, banished from class for disrupting a lesson, pinched the 40-year-old teacher's car key when she was not looking and managed to start up her compact car, accelerating and putting the vehicle into first gear.
"The little fellow drove for about 25m before crashing into a Volvo, also parked in the car park outside the school," a police spokesman in the eastern German city of Zwickau said...

Headline: Judge Allows Civil Suit Over Co-worker's Perfume
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Smelly

A federal judge says a Detroit city employee can proceed with a civil suit claiming she couldn't work because of a co-worker's strong perfume.

The Detroit News says U.S. District Judge Lawrence Zatkoff determined Susan McBride has a potential claim under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The city is asking to have the suit dismissed.

Headline: Girl Injured When Dad Drops Electric Saw on Her
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: A weird but very sad story.

A 9-year-old eastern Missouri girl is seriously injured after she was struck by an electric saw her father was using to trim trees.
Rock Community Fire Protection District officials say the Arnold girl was standing below a ladder Wednesday afternoon when her father accidentally dropped the saw. It struck her in the neck and caused extensive bleeding.

Headline: Bat girl 1, intruder 0
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Take That!

NEVER mess with a young woman who has three brothers who love baseball. Sarah Carr, 20, owes her life to her brothers' sport after she swung a baseball bat, fighting off a screwdriver-wielding attacker who barged into her house.

With just two swings, the fearless young woman managed to disarm the bandit and knock him to the ground.

She then watched as he hobbled off down the street. But had it not been for her sports-mad brothers, Ms Carr said the outcome could have been very different.

HEALINE: Thief Uses Lubricant To Swipe Ring On Woman's Hand
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: KY Jelly would do the job too.

Police said a thief used a Vaseline-like lubricant to swipe an expensive ring off an elderly woman's hand in broad daylight. Authorities said two men bumped 80-year-old Helen Artim's car, then asked her to open her trunk to check for damage.

Police said the suspect ran his hand over hers, covering it with "some type of lubricant," then used a towel to wipe it off. It's then that police believe he slipped the ring off Artim's finger. The piece of jewelry was valued between $20,000 to $30,000.

Headline: Accused Drunk Driver Ends Up Running Over Himself
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: Smart move

... A tip to the state's DrunkBuster hot line Sunday afternoon alerted authorities to a possibly drunken driver.

State Police Officer Grace Romero spotted the man's pickup truck swerving across both lanes of a highway, driving slowly and then fast. He refused to stop.

After narrowly missing other vehicles, police said the suspect drove through a ditch and a barbed-wire fence before stopping. He tried to put the truck into park, but it ended up in reverse.

Police said the man fell from his open door and both of his legs were run over by the front driver's side tire.

Headline: Superg-Looed: Man Stuck To Toilet
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: Stuck to the loo my darling.

A 35-year-old man has been taken to hospital stuck to a public toilet after a prankster covered the seat with glue.