Another Dumb Thief

Headline: 'Dumbest Criminal' Nabbed In Cop Convention Holdup
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 27.3.9
Caption: Another Dumb Thief

A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.
Comparetto gave up his money and cell phone. But when the man fled, Comparetto and some colleagues chased him. They arrested a 19-year-old man as he was trying to leave in a taxi.

Headline: Man Puts Finger In Gas Tank, Gets Stuck For Hours
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 27.3.9
Caption: You Gotta Watch Where You Stick Your Finger.

A Michigan man has learned not to stick his fingers in certain places. Victor Harris, of Saginaw, Michigan, was pouring a fuel additive into his Lincoln Navigator sport utility vehicle Thursday when a piece of paper fell into the gas tank. Harris tried to fish the paper out, but his index finger became stuck in the gas tank. WJRT-TV reported Harris tried to extract his digit for two hours before friends called the fire department. It took another two hours before emergency responders cut the gas tank tube out of the vehicle

Headline: Wash. Police Chief Checks Blackberry, Hits Car
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 27.3.9
Caption: Rather a dumb move too

The police chief of the south Seattle suburb of Federal Way has issued a public apology for a minor traffic accident that happened while he was checking his BlackBerry in his unmarked police car.

Headline: Man Tosses Gas Bomb In Fight, Sets Own Cars Ablaze
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 26.3.9
Caption: Rather a dumb move

Authorities said a man threw a Molotov cocktail at his neighbor's trailer, but the wind shifted and set fire to two cars, a pickup and a travel trailer in the man's own yard. The Florida Highway Patrol reported that a 51-year-old man got into a fight with his neighbor on Tuesday night and threw the makeshift gasoline bomb..

Headline: Rumors Bites! Headmaster Denies Vampires At School
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 26.3.9
Caption: Taking The Bite Out Of It

Apparently, it's not the bloody truth. After stories spread that vampires were strolling the campus of Boston Latin School, the headmaster of the prestigious college-prep school put a stake in the rumors. Lynne Mooney Teta sent a notice out Thursday to faculty, students, and parents denying the presence of bloodsuckers. She declined, however, to offer details about the rumors.

Boston Police spokesman Eddy Chrispin said police were called to the school Wednesday after hearing of the vampire tales. Chrispin said he didn't know if the alleged vampires were among the student body or hiding in old corners of the building.

Headline: Doctors Reattach Man's Arm After 900-Pound Pig Attack
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 26.3.9
Caption: Porked

CLOVIS, N.M. — A 26-year-old Curry County man had his arm nearly severed by a 900-pound boar that attacked him when he reached into the animal's pen to grab a water hose.

Curry County sheriff's deputies say Juan Cruz, a dairy worker, was attacked March 16 when he was feeding the boar and about 18 other pigs at his home in rural eastern New Mexico.

Cruz, speaking through an interpreter, says doctors in Lubbock, Texas, reattached his arm, but he is waiting to see if the operation was successful.

Cruz says the pig wasn't mean and the attack was unexpected.

Headline: Man Gets 90 Days In Jail In Vacuum Sex Act Case
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 26.3.9
Caption: Nothing Like Good Suction

Man Accused Of Performing Sex Act With Car Wash Vacuum Sentenced To 90 Days In Jail

What's in his pants?

Headline: Police: Man Offers $69 For Klondike Bar Down Pants
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 9.3.9
Caption: What's in his pants?

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Authorities said a man shoved an ice cream bar down his pants and then offered a Texaco station store owner $69 not to turn him in for shoplifting. The owner told police that a 65-year-old man tried to sneak the Klondike bar, along with packages of Ramen noodles and Famous Amos cookies, out of the store without paying Tuesday night.

When the store owner confronted the man as he tried the leave the store, the owner reported that the man pulled the flattened ice cream snack out of his back pocket and offered the owner $69 for it.

Headline: Windows 7 Has Secret Internet Explorer 'Off' Switch
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 9.3.9
Caption: Widows Off, Windows On

SEATTLE — A single check box deep in the guts of the next version of Windows is giving Microsoft Corp. watchers a peek at how the software maker plans to keep European antitrust regulators from marring a crucial software launch.

Windows 7, the successor to the much-maligned Vista, isn't expected to reach consumers until next year, but more than a million people are already testing early versions.

A pair of bloggers tinkering with settings stumbled upon one they hadn't seen before: The ability to "turn off" Microsoft's own Internet Explorer browser...

Headline: Passengers to pay to poo with credit card
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 9.3.9
Caption: Pay as You Poo

RYANAIR are a step closer to charging passengers to poo after asking Boeing to design credit card-operated toilets. Ryanair chief executive Michael O'Leary said he has approached the US aircraft maker after conceding his earlier idea of a coin-operated door wouldn't work because passengers would be using both the euro and the pound.

"We have looked into this before, and the problem is Boeing can't come up with a mechanism on the toilet door to take coins," Mr O'Leary told the Associated Press.

Headline: Welcome to Landlord Nation
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.3.9
Caption: Home Sweet Deal

DETROIT — Welcome to Landlord Nation, where foreclosure notices are plentiful and for-sale signs offer at least 1,800 homes for under $10,000 that once were worth at least 10 times more.

In extreme cases, homes are on sale for $1 or less, which has enticed investors to Detroit from as far away as the United Kingdom and Australia.

Headline: Fax Leads Los Angeles Police to Body in Car Trunk
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.3.9
Caption: Body Fax

LOS ANGELES — Police following an anonymous tip sent by fax to a television station found a dead woman in the trunk of her car Saturday, and are looking for the sender and two men alleged in the message to have been involved in the crime.

Officers discovered the body in a Valley Village neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley soon after being notified by KTLA-TV staff members about the faxed letter, Officer April Harding said. The sender described himself or herself only as "someone trying to help."

The sender wrote that a woman was killed Feb. 28 and that her body was in a black trash bag in a car. The sender said the car would be within a 2-square-mile area of a specific address; police found it several blocks away on a shady residential street facing the 101 Freeway.

Headline: Crazy driver dances at the wheel
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.3.9
Caption: Dancing his life away

Truck driver releases video: dancing in his cab as he speeds along motorway
A Romanian truck driver is being hunted by police after releasing a video of himself dancing in his cab as he thunders along a motorway.

Headline: Man Clings to Life With 2 Beating Hearts in His Body
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.3.9
Caption: Two Are Better Than One - We hopes he makes it.

A brave Brazilian man is fighting for his life — with two beating hearts inside his body.

The unnamed 53-year-old is in a stable condition after a 12-hour operation.

But doctors at Sao Paulo's Heart Institute fear he only has a 50 percent chance of surviving.

The patient has suffered severe lung hypertension that stopped his heart pumping blood around his body.

So he was given the new donor organ to prop up his own heart.

The "new" heart was placed on the right side of his chest and is linked to his original heart by a vein, arteries of the lung and the aorta.

"This is not a routine transplant, the situation is exceptional," Surgeon Alfredo Fiorelli, who carried out the transplant, said. "The next 72 hours will be fundamental to evaluate his state."

Headline: Alligator Accused of Starting Fire at Abandoned School
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.3.9
Caption: Nothing Like a Aligator Firebug

NEW CASTLE, Pa. — A four-foot alligator rescued in an abandoned school on fire in western Pennsylvania may have also started the blaze.

North Beaver Township officials are not identifying the owner of the former elementary school that burned Thursday afternoon near New Castle, about 40 miles northwest of Pittsburgh.

But they say the man was living with a menagerie of animals in the building, including the alligator, about 70 rabbits and unspecified "aquatic animals." The Pennsylvania Game Commission is involved in caring for the animal.

Fire Chief Paul Henry says the building's owner believes the alligator started the fire by knocking over a portable heater.

To trap a theif

Headline: Thief locks self in car
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 24.2.9
Caption: To trap a theif

A THIEF has bungled an attempt to break in to a car in Adelaide, locking himself inside the vehicle as police arrived.
Police said the man was one of two caught early this morning breaking into cars at Port Noarlunga, in the city's southern suburbs.

A 28-year-old was found hiding in some bushes while a 53-year-old was found hiding in one of the cars.

"The man, while breaking in to the car, had locked himself inside and couldn't get out," a police spokesman said.

Headline: Thief mistakes toilet for safe
Clip from: http://www.sbs.com.au/news/oddnews
Date of clip: 24.2.9
Caption: Maybe he had to go.

A hapless thief drilled his way into a French bank at the weekend, but missed the safe and instead found himself in a lavatory where he was promptly arrested, a French newspaper reported Sunday

Headline: Cops: Man Tries To Steal Laptop To Check Facebook
Clip from: CBSews.com
Date of clip: 24.2.9
Caption: Facebook Addict

Sheriff's officers said a 19-year-old man snatched a Starbucks customers laptop after being told he could not use it to check his Facebook account. According to officers, the man then grabbed the customer's laptop and ran out of the coffee shop, located in an outlet mall.

Two people in the parking lot tackled the man and held him there until a mall security guard arrived.

The victim got his laptop back and the man was charged Saturday with robbery by sudden snatching, a felony.

Headline: Family Living in Cave Puts Home on eBay
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: Cave For Sale

ST. LOUIS — In a twist to the U.S. housing crisis, a family that has been living in a home built inside a cave in suburban St. Louis has put it up for sale on eBay.
Bidding starts at $300,000.
Curt and Deborah Sleeper of Festus bought about 3 acres of property and a cave in Festus in 2004, after they spotted it on the Internet.
The couple built a three-bedroom home inside the one-time mining cave.

Headline: Travelodge lost and found: horse, Porsche 911, World War II medals
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: We Found...

The budget hotel company, which has 7 million guests checking in every year, has revealed some of the more bizarre things that visitors have managed to leave behind. A pet lizard called Humphrey...a show jumping horse, left in his trailer in the car park at the Droitwich hotel..two sets of keys for a Porsche 911 car.. a diamond Rolex watch...a Centurion card, the black American Express card that is so exclusive the annual fee can run up to £1,800.

Headline: No Luck For NYC Santa In Parking Ticket Fight
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: Too Bad Claus

A New York City man who fought a parking ticket he got while dressed as Santa Claus and giving out toys says the city's response is more ho-hum than ho-ho.

Chip Cafiero says he learned Friday he'd lost his attempt to contest the $115 ticket he got in Brooklyn on Nov. 28. The city Department of Finance, which handles such matters, didn't immediately return a phone call Sunday seeking comment.

The 60-year-old retired schoolteacher had a sport utility vehicle double-parked near him while he handed out holiday bounty from a horse-drawn carriage. The SUV was ticketed.

Headline:Pennsylvania rocked by 'jailing kids for cash'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: To Jail Scam

... There was no need for an attorney, said Phillip's mother, Amy Swartley, who thought at most, the judge would slap her son with a fine or community service.

But she was shocked to find her eighth-grader handcuffed and shackled in the courtroom and sentenced to a youth detention center. Then, he was shipped to a boarding school for troubled teens for nine months.

"Yes, my son made a mistake, but I didn't think he was going to be taken away from me," said Swartley, a 41-year-old single mother raising two boys in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

CNN does not usually identify minors accused of crimes. But Swartley and others agreed to be named to bring public attention to the issue.

As scandals from Wall Street to Washington roil the public trust, the justice system in Luzerne County, in the heart of Pennsylvania's struggling coal country, has also fallen prey to corruption. The county has been rocked by a kickback scandal involving two elected judges who essentially jailed kids for cash. Many of the children had appeared before judges without a lawyer...

Headline: Jackson Five star plans slavery theme park
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: An Odd Theme Park

MICHAEL Jackson's brother has been criticised for reportedly planning to build a slavery theme park in Nigeria.

Marlon Jackson is said to be prepared to invest in a $5.3 billion theme park where tourists can visit a replica slave ship and walk the route of shackled slaves, before playing a round of golf or relaxing by a pool, reports The Guardian

The former Jackson Five band member and the Badagry Historical Resort Development Project hope the park will attract African-American tourists keen to trace their roots back to Nigeria.

Headline: Woman Pleads Guilty in 'Unnecessary Surgeries' Case
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 22.2.9
Caption: Nip And Take

COSTA MESA, Calif. — A woman who helped recruit patients to undergo unnecessary surgeries as part of a $154 million medical insurance fraud has pleaded guilty to 22 charges.

Sue Nanda, 40, of Costa Mesa, entered her plea Friday in Orange County Superior Court. She is scheduled to be sentenced April 24 where she faces up to 20 years in prison.

Prosecutors said Nanda worked for the now-shuttered Unity Outpatient Surgery Center in Buena Park, targeting employees from businesses in 39 states who were covered by PPO insurance plans. She recruited more than 170 people from 16 states to undergo unnecessary surgical procedures in exchange for money or cheap cosmetic surgeries.

Headline: Artificially-induced snow closes roads
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 22.2.9
Caption:

CHINA has closed 12 highways around the capital Beijing today because of heavy snow brought on after seeding clouds with chemicals.

All outbound highways were closed in Hebei, the drought-hit northern province surrounding Beijing, after heavy snow fell last night, Xinhua news agency said.

In all, 12 highways, including one linking Beijing and Shenyang, capital of northeastern Liaoning province, were closed.

Hebei got its first heavy snow of this year yesterday. The provincial weather bureau said that snow too was "enhanced" by artificial seeding.

Heradline: Police officer shoots himself with Taser
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 22.2.9
Caption: TASED

A POLICE officer has been treated for burns after shooting himself with a Taser stun gun.
Police were called to a nightclub brawl on Elizabeth Street, near Martin Place in Sydney, at about 3.40am last night.

They say a Taser stun gun was used in an attempt to subdue a 27-year-old man after he resisted arrest.

The officer Tasered himself in the struggle, injuring his arm.

Maybe he had to go.

Headline: Thief mistakes toilet for safe
Clip from: http://www.sbs.com.au/news/oddnews
Date of clip: 24.2.9
Caption: Maybe he had to go.

A hapless thief drilled his way into a French bank at the weekend, but missed the safe and instead found himself in a lavatory where he was promptly arrested, a French newspaper reported Sunday

Headline: Cops: Man Tries To Steal Laptop To Check Facebook
Clip from: CBSews.com
Date of clip: 24.2.9
Caption: Facebook Addict

Sheriff's officers said a 19-year-old man snatched a Starbucks customers laptop after being told he could not use it to check his Facebook account. According to officers, the man then grabbed the customer's laptop and ran out of the coffee shop, located in an outlet mall.

Two people in the parking lot tackled the man and held him there until a mall security guard arrived.

The victim got his laptop back and the man was charged Saturday with robbery by sudden snatching, a felony.

Headline: Family Living in Cave Puts Home on eBay
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: Cave For Sale

ST. LOUIS — In a twist to the U.S. housing crisis, a family that has been living in a home built inside a cave in suburban St. Louis has put it up for sale on eBay.
Bidding starts at $300,000.
Curt and Deborah Sleeper of Festus bought about 3 acres of property and a cave in Festus in 2004, after they spotted it on the Internet.
The couple built a three-bedroom home inside the one-time mining cave.

Headline: Travelodge lost and found: horse, Porsche 911, World War II medals
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: We Found...

The budget hotel company, which has 7 million guests checking in every year, has revealed some of the more bizarre things that visitors have managed to leave behind. A pet lizard called Humphrey...a show jumping horse, left in his trailer in the car park at the Droitwich hotel..two sets of keys for a Porsche 911 car.. a diamond Rolex watch...a Centurion card, the black American Express card that is so exclusive the annual fee can run up to £1,800.

Headline: No Luck For NYC Santa In Parking Ticket Fight
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: Too Bad Claus

A New York City man who fought a parking ticket he got while dressed as Santa Claus and giving out toys says the city's response is more ho-hum than ho-ho.

Chip Cafiero says he learned Friday he'd lost his attempt to contest the $115 ticket he got in Brooklyn on Nov. 28. The city Department of Finance, which handles such matters, didn't immediately return a phone call Sunday seeking comment.

The 60-year-old retired schoolteacher had a sport utility vehicle double-parked near him while he handed out holiday bounty from a horse-drawn carriage. The SUV was ticketed.

Headline:Pennsylvania rocked by 'jailing kids for cash'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: To Jail Scam

... There was no need for an attorney, said Phillip's mother, Amy Swartley, who thought at most, the judge would slap her son with a fine or community service.

But she was shocked to find her eighth-grader handcuffed and shackled in the courtroom and sentenced to a youth detention center. Then, he was shipped to a boarding school for troubled teens for nine months.

"Yes, my son made a mistake, but I didn't think he was going to be taken away from me," said Swartley, a 41-year-old single mother raising two boys in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

CNN does not usually identify minors accused of crimes. But Swartley and others agreed to be named to bring public attention to the issue.

As scandals from Wall Street to Washington roil the public trust, the justice system in Luzerne County, in the heart of Pennsylvania's struggling coal country, has also fallen prey to corruption. The county has been rocked by a kickback scandal involving two elected judges who essentially jailed kids for cash. Many of the children had appeared before judges without a lawyer...

Headline: Jackson Five star plans slavery theme park
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 23.2.9
Caption: An Odd Theme Park

MICHAEL Jackson's brother has been criticised for reportedly planning to build a slavery theme park in Nigeria.

Marlon Jackson is said to be prepared to invest in a $5.3 billion theme park where tourists can visit a replica slave ship and walk the route of shackled slaves, before playing a round of golf or relaxing by a pool, reports The Guardian

The former Jackson Five band member and the Badagry Historical Resort Development Project hope the park will attract African-American tourists keen to trace their roots back to Nigeria.

Headline: Woman Pleads Guilty in 'Unnecessary Surgeries' Case
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 22.2.9
Caption: Nip And Take

COSTA MESA, Calif. — A woman who helped recruit patients to undergo unnecessary surgeries as part of a $154 million medical insurance fraud has pleaded guilty to 22 charges.

Sue Nanda, 40, of Costa Mesa, entered her plea Friday in Orange County Superior Court. She is scheduled to be sentenced April 24 where she faces up to 20 years in prison.

Prosecutors said Nanda worked for the now-shuttered Unity Outpatient Surgery Center in Buena Park, targeting employees from businesses in 39 states who were covered by PPO insurance plans. She recruited more than 170 people from 16 states to undergo unnecessary surgical procedures in exchange for money or cheap cosmetic surgeries.

Headline: Artificially-induced snow closes roads
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 22.2.9
Caption:

CHINA has closed 12 highways around the capital Beijing today because of heavy snow brought on after seeding clouds with chemicals.

All outbound highways were closed in Hebei, the drought-hit northern province surrounding Beijing, after heavy snow fell last night, Xinhua news agency said.

In all, 12 highways, including one linking Beijing and Shenyang, capital of northeastern Liaoning province, were closed.

Hebei got its first heavy snow of this year yesterday. The provincial weather bureau said that snow too was "enhanced" by artificial seeding.

Heradline: Police officer shoots himself with Taser
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 22.2.9
Caption: TASED

A POLICE officer has been treated for burns after shooting himself with a Taser stun gun.
Police were called to a nightclub brawl on Elizabeth Street, near Martin Place in Sydney, at about 3.40am last night.

They say a Taser stun gun was used in an attempt to subdue a 27-year-old man after he resisted arrest.

The officer Tasered himself in the struggle, injuring his arm.

Manager is a Stupid Thief

Headline: Store Manager Arrested For Theft That He Reported
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 19.2.9
Caption: Manager is a Stupid Thief

Deputies said they didn't have to look far to find the person who stole thousands of dollars worth of heating and air conditioning equipment. They say the thief was right behind the counter.

According to a Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office arrest report, a 44-year-old man, who manages an appliance part store, may have made off with about $203,000 worth of inventory.

On Jan. 9, the manager filed a theft report indicating that 70 rolls of 50-foot copper sheets were missing from his inventory. The report said that further investigation by the company revealed that the manager had been entering the store after hours using his personal alarm code.

Headline: 'Angry' pilot exposes himself
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 19.2.9
Caption: Pilot Pops Out

A PILOT has exposed himself to security staff at a London airport after becoming enraged at being searched. The pilot asked security “Do you want to search this?” as he dropped his pants at London City Airport, the Sun reported.

“The pilot was asked to take off his shoes and belt like everyone – but completely lost the plot,” a source said.

“He pulled down his trousers and pants to completely expose himself, then turned to the security guard and asked angrily, ‘Do you want to search this?’”

Headline: Daughters find Dad a kidney -- on Craigslist
Clip from: CNN.com
Date of clip: 18.2.9
Caption: Forsale Kidney - Sold

NEW YORK (CNN) -- One morning a couple of months ago at Westchester Medical Center, Dawn Verdick gave Daniel Flood one of her kidneys.
Daniel Flood received a kidney from Dawn Verdick. They were brought together through Craigslist. Verdick and Flood were not friends or family. In fact, they were total strangers from the East and West coasts. But that's not the most unusual aspect of this case.

The patient and donor were brought together after Flood's three daughters placed an ad on Craigslist, the online classifieds site that offers everything from autos to real estate and guitar lessons to massage.

"Please help us, my dad needs a kidney!" began their posting in the site's volunteer section.

Headine: Missing dentures washed up on beach
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 18.2.9
Caption: A Teeth of a Story

PHILLIP Worth may be a bit long in the tooth to believe in Long John Silver's gold but you could forgive him for believing in the tooth fairy.

How else could he explain losing his dentures while surfing at Terrigal only to find them - 26 hours later - washed in by the tide the following day, The Daily Telegraph reports.

Headline: Bike Labeled 'Pipe Bomb' Causes Chaos at Airport
Clip from: FOXnews.com
Date of clip: 18.2.9
Caption: A sign of the times.

If you saw a bicycle with a sticker that read "This Bike is a Pipe Bomb," would you be worried?

If so, imagine the frenzy such a bicycle caused at the airport in Memphis, drawing the response of police and fire personnel prepared for an explosion, MyFOX Memphis reported.

The sticker was fixed to a bicycle chained outside the airport's Terminal C on Monday, prompting police to take the bike's owner into custody and restrict access to the space around the two-wheeled vehicle.

Very Funny Irony

Headline: Man Runs Out Of Gas After Robbing Gas Station
Clip from: CBSnews
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: Condoms And The Economy

Authorities said they arrested a man who apparently forgot to fill up when he was robbing a gas station. The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office said a 23-year-old man used a Bowie knife to rob a Cape Haze gas station early Sunday. Deputies said the man pulled the 12-inch blade and demanded money. But when he left, a customer followed him and called 911.

While deputies were looking for signs of the robber, a newspaper carrier told them that a man in a car matching the one from the robbery had run out of gas nearby.

Headline: Sagging sales for global condom king
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: Condoms And The Economy

THE libido-draining effect of the global financial crisis has been demonstrated in the full-year earnings guidance downgrade of rubber glove and condom maker Ansell.
Ansell chief executive Doug Tough said weaker sales in November and December had led to the revision of full-year earnings forecast to a range between US65c and US70c a share.

This is 2 per cent down from its earlier forecast of US70-74c a share, The Daily Telegraph reports.

In the condoms division, total sales were slightly lower. While sales of branded condoms were robust and with overwhelming US demand for Ansell's new SKYN polyisoprene condom, it wasn't enough to prop up its private label division's sagging sales.

Headline: Cops: Teen Billed School for $37,000 Worth of Candy
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: The Candy Man Can

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio — Police say an Ohio teenager tried to pull off a sweet deal by ordering more than $37,000 of candy online and charging the bill to his former high school.

Police say the 18-year-old used a Middletown High School purchasing number to place orders for thousands of lollipops and candy bars from Michigan-based The Goodies Factory. It wasn't clear how he accessed the number.

Headline: Secret Thoughts No Longer Secret
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.2.9
Caption: I've Got a Secret--We Know

Canadian researchers say they can glean simple preferences from a person's brain by shining near-infrared light into the noggin.

The study, reported in the Journal of Neural Engineering, demonstrated the ability to decode a person's preference for one of two drinks with 80 percent accuracy by measuring the intensity of near-infrared light absorbed in brain tissue, the scientists said in a statement today.

"This is the first system that decodes preference naturally from spontaneous thoughts," says Sheena Luu, a University of Toronto doctoral student in biomedical engineering who led the work under the supervision of Tom Chau, a specialist in pediatric rehab engineering at the university's Bloorview Kids Rehab center.

Headline: Va. Man Charged With Killing Hawk To Help Squirrel
Clip from: cbsnews.com
Date of clip: 10.2.9
Caption: Squirrel Saver

For a Virginia doctor, squirrels are a man's best friend, too. Thomas Shepler, a hand surgeon, shot a hawk to death in his backyard when he said the bird was eyeing a young squirrel that he and his wife had helped raise.

Shepler, 65, said the hawk had previously killed an adult squirrel near his suburban Washington home in Vienna. When the doctor tried to chase away the bird over the weekend by yelling and throwing a crowbar at it, the hawk didn't leave the area.

So Shepler got a shotgun and killed it.

A police officer heard the shot Saturday and Shepler was arrested. He was charged with discharging a firearm in public and cruelty to animals.

Headline: Naked chief splits after YouTube stunt
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 10.2.9
Caption: Weird-- figure this one out by yourself

THE head of the advertising firm behind the controversial Witchery Man advertising campaign featuring a fake YouTube video has parted ways with the company.
Naked Communications' issued a press release this afternoon saying chief executive Mat Baxter would leave the company today to "pursue other new business opportunities'', The Australian reports.

Mr Baxter's departure comes days after controversial magazine ads placed by Naked appeared, naming and thanking the media who reported on the search for love of "Heidi Clarke'' - the fake identity of the model who appeared in the video looking for the owner of a men's jacket.

Mr Baxter said Naked was moving in a new direction and the decision for him to leave was mutual. He said it was not connected with a backlash over the Witchery Man campaign.

Dumbass Thief

Headline: Stupid burglar caught in a hot tin roof
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 22.1.9
Caption: Dumbass Thief

FOR two hours he hid inside the roof, the sun beating down on the tin above sending the temperature in his hiding place soaring.
Finally the burglar, who was forced to crouch in the tiny cavity after the family he intended to rob came home unexpectedly, could take no more and fainted.
The half-baked crook came crashing through the ceiling and landed at the feet of a horrified couple and their five young children almost 4m below.
Food distributor Darren Young described yesterday how he and wife Deslie and five of their six children were at their Newcastle home on the New South Wales Central Coast on Wednesday when the would-be thief made a sudden and unlikely entrance.

Headline: Clinically Depressed Poodle Mauls Ex-French President
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 22.1.9
Caption: A dog off his meds

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident that rattled the ex-president's wife.

The couple's white Maltese poodle, called Sumo, has a history of frenzied fits and became increasingly prone to making "vicious, unprovoked attacks" despite receiving treatment with anti-depressants, Chirac's wife Bernadette said..

Headline: Dog-gone-it! Man Loses Dog, River Swallows Car
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 22.1.9
Caption: A day in the life of...

A man driven to find his lost dog also lost his car after he drove onto the frozen Black River in St. Clair County, locked himself out of the idling vehicle, then watched as heat from the 1994 Buick's exhaust pipe melted the ice beneath it. WPHM-AM, the Detroit Free Press and the Times Herald in Port Huron reported that a police dive team were expected Wednesday to help pull the car from the frigid river off Port Huron Township, about 55 miles northeast of Detroit.

Headline: Woman Forced to Fork Over iPod to Pay Cab Fare
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 21.1.9
Caption: Your Money or Your iPod

The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey is investigating an incident where a California woman says she was forced to use her iPod as payment for a cab ride.

Natalie Lenhart, 20, of Sacramento, took a cab to the airport in early December, but her credit card was declined. The driver called 911, and Port Authority police responded. Lenhart was told she had to give the driver some compensation, so she turned over the iPod.

Headline: Cleric says its OK to rape your wife
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 21.1.9
Caption: Not In Our Country

A MELBOURNE Islamic cleric has told his male followers they can force their wives to have sex and hit them if they are disobedient.

Coburg's self-styled cleric Samir Abu Hamza said despite Australian rape laws it was impossible for a man to rape his wife even if she refused to have sex with him, the Herald Sun reports.

In a recorded lecture entitled "The Keys to a Successful Marriage", delivered to his male worshippers but now broadcast on the internet and viewed by several thousand people, Mr Hamza said Islamic law allowed men to hit their wives as a last resort, but they were not to make them bleed or become bruised.

Headline: Cow Knocks Over Woman On Bike, Steps On Her Legs
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 20.1.9
Caption: Cowed

A woman escaped serious injury and refused medical treatment after a cow knocked her down and walked on her legs. Boulder Open Space and Mountain Parks ranger Pete Taylor said the woman was riding her bicycle along the South Boulder Creek Trail on Monday when she encountered the cow and stopped to let the animal cross. Instead, the cow knocked the woman over and stepped on her legs.

Headline: Woman wins rights to superdog's sperm
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 20.1.9
Caption: Sperm Dog

A QUEENSLAND dog breeder has won a legal settlement over the ownership of a stud police dog and its frozen sperm. Leigh Robertson of Narangba, in Brisbane, took action against Queensland Police Dog Squad kennel manager Reg Worth after he sold Ike to the police service without her permission. "Ike was not his to sell," Ms Robertson said.

Headline: Woman Creates Artwork From 395 Days Of Junk Mail
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 20.1.9
Caption: Art of Junk

One person's junk mail is an Austin woman's art. Artist Annette Lawrence saved every scrap of junk mail she received, at her home, for about 13 months and made it into an exhibit called "Free Paper."

Lawrence told KXAN-TV that she was "a bit bothered" by the amount of paper that arrived at her residence, 265 pounds worth, during the 395-day period. Instead of recycling the junk mail, Lawrence saved it so observers can take away a sense of "Wow, that is a lot of paper."

Clumsy Thief ran over X2 by Getaway Car

Headline: Shoplifter Gets Run Over Twice By Her Getaway Car
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Clumsy Thief

Authorities are looking for a shoplifter who was run over twice by her getaway car after stealing $1,200 worth of designer purses from a Cape Coral store. A T.J. Maxx security guard told police she saw a woman stuff six designer Dooney & Bourke purses into her pants Tuesday morning and walk out of the store. The guard said she was confronting the woman when a car pulled up.

A report said the shoplifter tried to get into the vehicle but fell out and was run over by the car. She then got up and jumped onto the hood of the car. As the car was driving away, the report said the woman fell off and was run over again. On her third attempt, she finally made it into the vehicle.

Headline: Teacher Fired for Duct Taping Kid's Mouth Shut
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Dumb Ass Teacher

LAFAYETTE, Ind. — A school board in Indiana has fired a middle school teacher who placed duct tape over a special-needs student's mouth to keep him from talking in class.

The board of Tippecanoe School Corp. voted Wednesday to cancel Pamela Dahnke's contract. She was an eighth-grade health and nutrition teacher at Battle Ground Middle School in West Lafayette.

Superintendent Scott Hanback says the September taping incident "cannot be tolerated." ...

Headline: Speeding pregnant woman was 'busting'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption:When You're Pregnant You Got To Go When You Got To Go

A PREGNANT woman caught driving 147km/h on the F3 had her licence suspension reduced yesterday because she was desperate to go to the toilet at the time of the offence.

Bettina Catherine May, from Chipping Norton, was three months pregnant when she was clocked driving 37km/h over the speed limit on October 12.

And when police pulled her over as she raced north out of Sydney towards Ourimbah she was not wearing a seatbelt...

Headline: Lithuanian Firm Hires Witch To Hunt Debt Dodgers
Clip from: CBS.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Witch Hunt

In these difficult times for creditors, a Lithuanian debt collector is offering an unconventional service to retrieve arrears: witchcraft.

The Vilnius-based firm has hired Vilija Lobaciuviene, the Baltic nation's most famous self-styled witch, to hunt down companies and individuals who are failing to pay their debts amid the credit crunch.

"There are certain people, who are using this crisis situation and refuse to pay back banks or other companies," said Amantas Celkonas, director of the Skolu Isieskojimo Biuras, or debt collecting bureau.

"Our new employee will help them to understand the situation, reconsider what is right and wrong and act accordingly," he said. "We will also help those who are in real trouble, suffering from psychological impact of bankruptcy and depression."

Stupid Thief

Headline: Bad Recycling: Pay Stub Used As Bank Robbery Note
From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 30.12.8
Caption: Stupid Thief

The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub. An FBI affidavit said the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot."
The robber got about $400 but left half of his note. Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors. Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address.

Headline: 250 Thongs Stolen From Florida Victoria's Secret Store
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 30.12.8
Caption: No Nipple Ring For Junior

A Florida Victoria's Secret store was the victim of an elaborate panty raid over the weekend when a thief walked out with 250 pairs of thong underwear from the store, authorities said.
An employee at the Naples, Fla., store noticed on Saturday that four drawers of PINK brand XS thong panties had been emptied, according to a police report The theft likely occurred between Friday evening and Saturday morning.

HEADLINE: Nipples out in new piercing rules
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: No Nipple Ring For Junior

MINORS will be banned from having their nipples and genitals pierced and children under 16 will need parental consent for any other body piercings under new Victorian laws.
From January 1, piercers who give a person aged under 18 an intimate body piercing will risk a $6600 fine.
The same penalty will apply to those who give minors a tattoo or perform scarification, tongue splitting, branding or beading on someone aged under 18.
And piercers who give children under 16 a non-intimate body piercing without parental consent will be slapped with a $2200 fine.
Attorney-General Rob Hulls said the new laws would help protect young people as body art increased in popularity.
"The possible health implications associated with body piercing can include the transmission of blood-borne viruses, infection, scarring and nerve damage," he said.

Headline: Study: Cocaine Alters Judgment in Humans, Bees
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: NO KIDDING

An Australian scientist is doping up honey bees with cocaine to study how their brains react to the drug, and possibly find a way to stop addiction in humans.
The research found similarities between honey bees and humans, in that they are both are driven by rewards and both have their judgment altered by cocaine.
"This is the first time that it's been shown that cocaine has been rewarding to an insect," Andrew Barron, co-author of the report published this month in the Journal of Experimental Biology, told Reuters.

Headline: Hubby: Men Who Slept With My Wife, Get HIV Test
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: Busy Wife

A Canadian man is urging others who may have slept with his Thai stripper ex-wife to get tested for the HIV virus after she passed it on to him, according to a report in the Toronto Sun.

"I know there were other men she slept with," Percy Whiteman told the Sun on Sunday. "I am lucky that I was able to find out early."

Whiteman has presented no public evidence to back up his allegations that his former wife, Suwalee Imkhong, 39, had sex with other men.

Headline: NYC Man Sells Bubbly Calendars For Popping Fans
From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: A Popping Good Time

A New York City man has designed a calendar that will drive Bubble Wrap fanatics popping-mad.

The Daily News of New York reports in Thursday editions that Stephen Turbek is selling a poster-size calendar covered with the plastic bubbles. Customers can pop a bubble each day to mark the passage of time.

The Brooklyn man says he has sold thousands of Bubble Calendars. A handmade calendar with paper backing is available online for $30 and a plastic version costs $50.

Headline: Man Arrested After Days Spent Hiding in Family's Attic
From: FOXnews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: House Guest of the Unknown Kind

A family did not realize they had an unexpected Christmas guest until a man who had been in their attic for days emerged wearing their clothes, police said.

Stanley Carter surrendered Friday after police took a dog to search the home in Plains Township, a suburb of Wilkes-Barre about 100 miles north of Philadelphia. He was charged with several counts of burglary, theft, receiving stolen property and criminal trespass.

"When he came down from the attic, he was wearing my daughter's pants and my sweat shirt and sneakers," homeowner Stacy Ferrance said. "From what I gather, he was helping himself to my home, eating my food and stealing my clothes."

Police said the 21-year-old Carter had been staying with his friends, who are Ferrance's neighbors in a duplex. But when they told him to leave, he apparently accessed the shared attic through a trap door in a bedroom ceiling.

Headline: Hospital Apologizes After Woman Gives Birth on Floor
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.12.8
Caption: Thong Throng Song

A pregnant woman in the U.K. was left unattended for hours and had to give birth on a hospital floor despite her desperate appeal for a bed.

Health board officials have apologized to Lynne Neilson, 36, whose baby started to arrive as she stood, still clothed, in an assessment room at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, a major teaching hospital in Scotland, after hours of waiting to be admitted. As the baby's head appeared, a midwife ran in just in time to put a paper mat on the floor and catch the baby, who had the umbilical cord around her neck.

Neilson and her husband Gavin filed an official complaint after the incident. The U.K.'s National Health Service in the Lothian region of Scotland, which oversees the hospital, is investigating the complaint and has apologized to the woman.