How Ironic

Headline: Mad cow expert may have died from disease
Origin of Clip: CNN.com 29.3.9
Caption: How Ironic

A Spanish pathologist who specialized in a human strain of mad cow disease died Saturday, and officials suspect the disease played a role in his death, officials said.

The doctor was head of the anatomy pathology section at the University Hospital Principe de Asturias in Alcala de Henares, outside of Madrid, according to the Madrid regional government's health office. He died Saturday night, at the hospital where he worked, officials said. The doctor's name was not released at the request of his family.

Headline: Driver Begs Cops To Shoot Him After 130 Mph Chase
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 28.3.9
Caption: Just Shoot Me

A police chase that exceeded speeds of more than 130 mph ended when the driver crashed and begged officers to shoot him. Police used a stun gun Friday morning on the man, who faces charges of driving under the influence, fleeing and eluding, aggravated assault by motor vehicle and resisting arrest.

Police say an officer tried to stop the man on Ga. 400 for speeding about 1:45 a.m., but he sped away in his Mercedes C230. He left Ga. 400, went westbound in the eastbound lanes of Old Milton Parkway, forcing oncoming drivers off the highway. He sideswiped a police car, lost control and slammed into a tree.

Headline: Teachers given the cane go-ahead
Origin of Clip: news.com 28.3.9
Caption: Ass paddling the cane way

THE cane is still being wielded at some Queensland schools where parents sign legal waivers to give teachers the power to hit their children.

The corporal punishment option is offered at some of the state's fastest-growing independent schools as part of their strict behaviour management strategies.

Religious beliefs are used to justify discipline at some schools, The Sunday Mail reports.

With more than 55,000 suspensions handed out at state schools last financial year - a jump of more than 20 per cent in two years - Independent Schools Queensland has reported growing support for private schools catering for the "disengaged and at-risk" school sector.

Headline: Broke students marrying for money
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 27.3.9
Caption: Marrying for money is not all bad

STRUGGLING Australian university students are getting married for money, exploiting a legal loophole to qualify for government assistance to survive.
Tertiary students have become so desperate for financial support that some as young as 19 are resorting to marrying flatmates, friends and ex-partners so they can be classed as an independent and receive Youth Allowance.

Under guidelines for the federal Government scheme, a person is only deemed independent if they are over 25, have earned $18,000 in the past 18 months, are unable to live at home due to family breakdown, or are married.

Those who qualify are eligible to receive a welfare payment of up to $400 a fortnight. University unions fear the current economic climate could force a flood of young people to marry to make ends meet.

Headline: 'Dumbest Criminal' Nabbed In Cop Convention Holdup
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 27.3.9
Caption: Another Dumb Thief

A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.
Comparetto gave up his money and cell phone. But when the man fled, Comparetto and some colleagues chased him. They arrested a 19-year-old man as he was trying to leave in a taxi.

Headline: Man Puts Finger In Gas Tank, Gets Stuck For Hours
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 27.3.9
Caption: You Gotta Watch Where You Stick Your Finger.

A Michigan man has learned not to stick his fingers in certain places. Victor Harris, of Saginaw, Michigan, was pouring a fuel additive into his Lincoln Navigator sport utility vehicle Thursday when a piece of paper fell into the gas tank. Harris tried to fish the paper out, but his index finger became stuck in the gas tank. WJRT-TV reported Harris tried to extract his digit for two hours before friends called the fire department. It took another two hours before emergency responders cut the gas tank tube out of the vehicle