A LIFT ME UP

Headline: Canadian Charged With Smuggling Cocaine in Forklift
Clip from: FOXNews.com.
Date of clip: 11.1.9
Caption: Lift me up

A 56-year-old Canadian man is charged with attempting to smuggle into Australia 22 pounds of cocaine, with a street value of $2.45 million, using forklift batteries.

Customs officers allegedly made the discovery on Dece. 22, after inspecting a container with a forklift inside that arrived at Sydney's Port Botany facility.

An X-ray of the forklift allegedly revealed "anomalies" within the battery unit, Australian Customs said.

A white powder which tested positive for cocaine was found inside the 24 battery cells, Customs said.

Headline: 'Mouthwash kills bad breath ... and people'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 10.1.9
Caption: MOUTHWASH CAN KILL YOU

top-selling mouthwashes can cause oral cancer and should be pulled from supermarket shelves immediately. Leading independent experts have issued this strong warning after investigating latest scientific evidence linking alcohol-containing mouthwashes to the deadly disease.

Their review, published in the Dental Journal of Australia, concludes there is now "sufficient evidence" that "alcohol-containing mouthwashes contribute to the increased risk of development of oral cancer".

The ethanol in mouthwash is thought to allow cancer-causing substances to permeate the lining of the mouth more easily and cause harm.

Headline: Pastor in Gay Sex Scandal: Marriage 'Stronger Than Ever'
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.1.9
Caption: ODD RELATIONSHIP

Speaking out two years after being embroiled in a gay sex scandal, former evangelical pastor Ted Haggard said Friday his sexual identity is complex and can't be put into "stereotypical boxes," but that his relationship with his wife is stronger than ever.

In an interview with The Associated Press, Haggard did not rule out a return to public life or the pulpit. He spoke before he appeared before TV critics in Los Angeles to promote "The Trials of Ted Haggard," an HBO documentary on Haggard's exile after his confession to "sexual immorality" and fall as a top evangelical leader.

Headline: Cajun squirrel among crisp flavours tested by Walkers
Clip from: telegraph.co.uk
Date of clip: 10.1.9
Caption: Cajun squirrel crisps - UM, UM!

Crisps that taste of chilli and chocolate, onion bhaji and even Cajun squirrel will be unleashed on the public as part of a Walkers competition to find a new flavour.....
Meanwhile Cajun squirrel is the wacky flavour created by Martyn Wright, 26, the only man to have made the final six.

The online marketer, who lives in Hednesford, Staffordshire, was inspired to enter when he saw squirrel on a restaurant menu and he believes the public will be so intrigued that they will have to buy a pack.

He said: "This gentle Cajun flavouring will be delicious for the public and although the idea might sound bizarre, it really works. No squirrels were harmed in the making of these crisps!"

Headline: Masked Man Waits in Line to Rob Ohio Bank
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 9.1.9
Caption: Kinda Dumb Robber

STOW, Ohio — A man may have tipped his intentions when he stood in line at an Ohio bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup.

Police in Stow near Akron say 24-year-old Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights was arrested minutes later on Thursday following a brief car chase.

Police say the teller asked the man to take off the mask before being served. At that point the man displayed what turned out to be a toy gun and told the teller to give him all the money.

Police Captain Rick Myers says it's unusual for a masked robber to wait in line at a bank.

Headline: Cops: R.I. Boys Stole Car to Get to School on Time
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 9.1.9
Caption: BEING PUNCTUAL

WOONSOCKET, R.I. — Two Woonsocket High School boys did the right thing by trying to get to school on time.

It was the way they got there that police had a problem with.

Police tell The Call of Woonsocket the boys ages 15 and 16 stole a car Tuesday morning in order to make it to school on time.

Police received a call about a stolen vehicle at about 7:44 a.m.

John Raymond, an officer assigned to the school, found the vehicle in the parking lot.

After questioning some students, he identified two boys he thinks arrived in the car. One was located in class, and the other was in the in-house suspension room with the stolen car's keys in his pocket.

Headline: Kidney stone? No, it's a baby
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 9.1.9
Caption: Will she name the bay Stone or Kidney?

A CANADIAN woman rushed to hospital for what she believed was a kidney stone gave birth to a baby boy instead.
"This is some kidney stone, isn't it," the new mum told Canwest New Service as she cradled her son in her arms.

"We're still in shock. We just can't believe it."

Juanita Stead, 36, said she did not suffer morning sickness or put on extra weight during her pregnancy and she continued to menstruate so she had no idea that she was pregnant.

An X-ray after she went to hospital on on New Year's Eve suffering back pains revealed the truth.

"The technician looked at me and said, 'My dear, you're pregnant with a full-term baby'. And I said: 'No sir, you got the wrong woman and you're looking at the wrong screen. There is no way I'm pregnant," she said.

Hi Mummy

Headline: Man Arrested at Airport With Gift-Wrapped Mummies
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 24.12.8
Caption: Hi Mummy

An Australian teacher who allegedly stuffed his luggage with 2,000-year old animal mummies and religious figurines wrapped as gifts was arrested Wednesday and charged with smuggling antiquities, an Egyptian airport security official said.

The 61-year teacher was heading to Thailand when a security official became suspicious of the wrapped figurines that were placed amid souvenir ceramic pots in his suitcase.
When security officials opened the case, they found two mummies of a cat and an ibis, a long-beaked bird, both dating back to 300 B.C. The confiscated collection also included 19 figurines of the revered ancient Egyptian gods of Horus and Thoth, wrapped as gifts.

Headline: Woman Survives 3 Days Buried in Snow Drift
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 24.12.8
Caption: Miracle

Donna Molnar, 55, set off from home in Ancaster, Ontario, on Friday but her car got stuck in a field of snow drifts.
The vehicle was found a day later, abandoned by the side of a road, Sky News reported.
By this time, fears for her survival were mounting and it was not until Monday, when police officer Ray Lau was trudging through almost knee-high snow, that his dog Ace picked up the woman's scent.
Officer Lau was stunned to find Molnar still breathing. Molnar was wearing a simple winter jacket and she had been buried in snow just a few hundred yards from where her car had been found.

Headline: Cat 'fell 34 storeys and survived'
From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 24.12.8
Caption: This cat landed on his paws

A CAT fell 34 floors from a Gold Coast penthouse and survived to see out the rest of his eight lives, its owner says.
Voodoo the seven-year-old manx has always had an affinity for heights and enjoys living life on the edge.
His owner Sheree Washington said he often teetered on the edge of the balcony, much to her horror, The Gold Coast Bulletin reports.
She and her husband Wayne first noticed Voodoo was missing about 9pm on Monday, after the couple had finished dinner.
"We searched high and low several times and he was nowhere to be found," said Mr Washington.
Yesterday morning, she made the journey downstairs, expecting to find her beloved cat's body at the base of the high rise.
Instead, she found Voodoo with nothing more than a few scratches.

Monkey Business

Headline: Woman 'Pregnant' With Monkey Convicted of Smuggling
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Monkey Business

A Washington state woman and her mother have been convicted in federal court on charges of sneaking a rhesus monkey into the United States from Thailand.

Gypsy Lawson, 29, hid the sedated young rhesus macaque under her blouse, pretending to be pregnant when she successfully passed through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles after a trip to Bangkok.

Her mother, Fran Ogren, 55, of Northport, Wash., also went on the trip in November 2007.

Headline: Police 'sodomised man with baton'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Weird Side of the Law

A NEW York City police officer has been accused of sodomising a man with a police baton on a subway platform while two others helped cover up the crime.

Detective Richard Kern, 25, was charged with aggravated sexual assault, which is punishable by up to 25 years in prison, and other charges.

Andrew Morales and Alex Cruz, both 26, are charged with participating in the attempted cover up, which included writing a summons for the victim following the assault. If convicted, each faces up to four years in prison.

"I'm pleased but it still hasn't changed what happened to me," the victim, Michael Mineo, 24, told reporters after the arraignment. "I still have abdominal pain, rectal pain."

His lawyer, Kevin Mosley said, "It was, for all intents and purposes, rape."

Headline: Honest Woman Finds $97K In Restroom, Returns It
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: A nice story

Billie Watts said she was tempted but couldn't bring herself to keep $97,000 she said she found in a Cracker Barrel restroom. The 75-year-old Murfreesboro woman told The Daily News Journal that she discovered the money inside a tapestry bag hanging from a hook on a stall door last Thursday.

But five days later, the money and its anonymous owner remain something of a mystery in the community, where police said they have no report of the find.

While digging through the bag to figure out its owner, Watts said she found a bundle of neatly stacked $1,000 bills.

Monkee See, Monkey Do

Headline: Woman, Mom Convicted Of Smuggling Monkey Into US
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 9.12.8
Caption: Monkee See, Monkey Do

A Spokane woman and her mother have been convicted in federal court on charges of sneaking a rhesus monkey into the United States from Thailand. Gypsy Lawson, 29, hid the sedated young rhesus macaque under her blouse, pretending to be pregnant when she successfully passed through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles after a trip to Bangkok, Thailand.
Her mother, Fran Ogren, 55, of Northport, Wash., also went on the trip in November 2007.
The two women were found guilty Monday by a 12-member jury on separate charges of conspiracy and smuggling goods into the United States. Sentencing is set for March 3.

Headline: Blood Alcohol Tester Charged In Nevada With DUI
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 9.12.8
Caption: Drunk Drunk Tester

A contract worker for a Nevada sheriff's department is accused of driving drunk to a jail to test a suspect's blood alcohol content.

Fifty-three-year-old Kathleen Cherry told a Carson City sheriff's deputy who smelled alcohol on her breath that she had one margarita before driving Friday night.

She's accused of failing field sobriety tests and registering a blood alcohol content over the state's legal limit of 0.08 percent.

Cherry is a phlebotomist, trained to draw blood for lab tests. She was booked on a misdemeanor drunken driving charge, and her bail was set at more than $1,000.

HEADLINE: Washington Priest Chases Thief, Recovers Church Funds
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: The Long Arm of Religion

A Washington priest went sprinting through the streets, just before Mass, to recover collection money that a thief swiped from the church safe.

"I said, 'Hey, I'm going to go catch a thief,"' the Rev. Bill Hegedusich told startled congregants at St. Peter's church on Capitol Hill as he bounded through the church door Sunday morning.

Hegedusich said the man had taken two bags of money, totaling about $125, from an unlocked safe.

The 48-year-old marathon runner, clad in his black shirt and white clerical collar, said he chased the man for about two blocks and yelled at him to return the money. The man threw one bag on the ground and kept running.

Hegedusich returned with the single bag. He estimated that he recovered about $60.

Headline: Woman has first child ... at age 70
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: A Mother of a Grandma

AN Indian woman has given birth to her first child at the age of 70 after IVF treatment, local media reports.
Rajo Devi, who married 50 years ago, gave birth to a baby girl on November 28 after in vitro fertilisation, said Anurag Bishnoi, a doctor at the Hisar fertility centre in Haryana state.
"Rajo Devi and (her husband) Bala Ram approached the centre for treatment and the embryo transfer was done on April 19," he told the Hindustan Times.
"Both the mother and child are in good health."
Ms Devi's husband, aged 72, had also wed his wife's sister after 10 years of his first marriage did not result in children.
His second wife also failed to become pregnant.
It was not clear whose egg and sperm were used in the successful treatment.
"We longed for a child all these years and now we are very happy to have one in the twilight years of our life," Ms Devi told the Times of India.

Headline: Men Are Red-Faced, Women Greenish
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Green Under The Gills

There's a new color palette for sex, and it's Christmas-y.
New research suggests while male faces are red, female faces have a greenish tint.
The results, detailed online this week in the journal Psychological Science, suggest that along with other facial cues, such as shape, color can be used to pick out a guy from a gal.

Headline: Field Trips Nixed After Students See Classmate Autopsy
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: We Know That Stiff

PONTIAC, Mich. — A medical examiner's office in Michigan has canceled public school tours after a high school group watched the autopsy of a 14-year-old girl from their district.

The Detroit News reports Monday that Oakland County officials decided to stop the tours in Pontiac after they were contacted by the girl's parents, who were very upset about the March tour.

Mike Zehnder, the county's director of public services, says it was "a poor decision" to let the tour go on.

Headline: Rhino escapes zoo pen in search for love
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Horny

A RANDY rhinoceros escaped its enclosure today and went looking for love - but has been sedated near a perimeter fence.
The escapee - an 18-year-old male white rhino named Satara - was reported to have escaped Monarto Zoo, east of Adelaide, around just after 1pm (CST) today.

Relieved zoo keepers then reported the amorous animal lacked an adequate sense of direction and was not able to gain access to the female object of his desire, AdelaideNow reports

Headline: Man stole police car to sell its tyres
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Dumb Ass

A MAN who stole an empty police car crashed it into a garbage dumpster at the end of a two-hour joy ride
"When I found the car and I saw it had the key in the ignition, well, I just got in," foiled car thief Alejandro Juarez said in Aguascalientes, Mexico.

"I was thinking about taking off the tyres so I could sell them," he said.

"But then I was thinking first I would take it for a spin - and then bam, I got a bit distracted and crashed," Mr Juarez said.

Headline: 'Tis the season to dump grannies - doctors
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Bye, Bye Grannies

ELDERLY Victorians are being dumped in hospital emergency departments as their relatives go on holidays.

Frontline hospital staff have lifted the lid on the shocking practice of "granny dumping", saying it is on the increase and peaks over the Christmas period.

There are calls for an urgent inquiry as worried emergency department workers warn the practice is robbing genuine patients of vital beds.

Last Monday, a woman in her 70s was delivered by ambulance to the Northern Hospital's emergency department, where her relatives requested she stay for three weeks.