Life's a Joke

Headline: Brains a poor second to kids who laugh
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Ha, Ha, Ha.

IT's no joke: parents would rather their children grow up to be comedians than brain surgeons. A survey of more than 300 mums and dads found more than 39 per cent wanted their child to have a good sense of humour - nearly 21 per cent wanted them to be extremely intelligent. Good looks came third, with nearly 16 per cent of people wanting their kids to be attractive.

Headline: Pizzeria Mistakenly Butchers Deer Near Customer
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Not deer dear.

An Allentown pizzeria said venison is not on the menu despite the impression a customer may have gotten when she saw one of the cooks butchering a deer in the shop's kitchen. John Okumus, the manager of Stromboli Pizza, called Tuesday's incident a huge misunderstanding.

Okumus said he shot a doe and planned to give it to his friend. He wrapped the animal in plastic and dropped it off in a back area of the kitchen, hoping the friend would pick it up. Okumus then went home.

He said a cook mistakenly started butchering the deer, and a customer saw what was happening.

Headline:Cash-strapped teacher sells ads on tests
Clip from: CNNews.com
Date of clip: 3.12.8
Caption: There are adverts everywhere anyways.

In tests for teacher Tom Farber's high school class, students can demonstrate their mastery of calculus and find out where to get braces or even a haircut.
Calculus teacher Tom Farber is selling ad space on tests to defray printing costs.
Squeezed by classroom budget cuts, the Rancho Bernardo High School teacher is selling ads on his exams to cover the costs of printing them.

"My intention is, [selling ads] is a stopgap measure," said Farber. "I don't want to be doing this year after year."

Headline: Man Uses Candy Cane To Subdue Attacker With Knife
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 3.12.8
Caption: take that

A man using a candy cane lawn ornament fended off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home. Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong saID the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He said the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn.

He cut several peoples' clothing before one of them decided to fight back.