TWO, TWO, TWO DUMBIES IN ONE

Headline: Fast-food Worker Laughs, Tells Robber To Get A Job
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: TWO, TWO, TWO DUMBIES IN ONE

A San Antonio fast-food restaurant cashier laughed at a robbery suspect and told him to get a job if he wanted money during a failed holdup on Tuesday evening.

Police said the suspect approached the worker and demanded money, but the cashier laughed and apparently didn't realize the man was trying to hold up the place.

Headline: Heart Found On Floor Of The Paw Paw Car Wash
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Someone's Heartless

Investigators are trying to determine if a heart found at on the floor of a southwestern Michigan car wash is from a human or an animal. The heart will be examined at a Lansing hospital's forensics services division.

WOOD-TV in Grand Rapids and WWMT-TV in Kalamazoo reported that the heart was discovered Monday by the owner of the Paw Paw car wash.

Headline: Burger King unveils body spray
Clip from: guardian.co.uk
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Meaty Body Spray

Burger King releases fragrance described as 'the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat'

Headline: Headbangers urged to brace themselves
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Hitman's Movie Deal

HEAVY metal fans are being urged to wear a neck brace or ditch their love of hard music to stop head and neck injuries.

Headline: Former Hit Man for Boston Mob Gets Movie Deal
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Hitman's Movie Deal

The former hit man for a Boston crime family may soon see his sordid life story on the big screen, "GoodFellas"-style, after selling the rights to a Hollywood movie producer -- and the law enforcement agent who helped him cop a plea is not happy with the money deal.

John V. Martorano pleaded guilty in 1999 to killing 20 people in exchange for becoming a government witness. Now he's sold the rights to his mob tale for an undisclosed sum to Graham King of GK Films in Santa Monica, Calif.

Headline: Man, 98, confronts intruder after Bolton bedroom raid
Clip from: thisislancashire.co.uk
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: This dude is spry for his age

A 98-year-old pensioner woke up in his bedroom to find a burglar going through his wardrobe and drawers.

The elderly man was asleep in his home in Bridgewater Street, Walkden, between 9.30pm and 10pm on Saturday when the attempted robbery took place.

The raider ran downstairs and searched for more of the pensioner's property to steal.