RECENT HEADLINES

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ass Wipe is Dirtier

Headline: Toilet Paper Worse for Environment Than Hummers?
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.2.9
Caption: Ass Wipe is Dirtier
That super-soft toilet paper you're fond of using? It's an ecological disaster, environmentalists say.

Millions of trees are harvested throughout the Americas – including rare old-growth forests in Canada – to sustain the United States’ obsession with quilted, ultra-soft, multi-ply toilet paper, the New York Times reported.

Although toilet paper manufacturers could produce products from recycled materials at a similar cost, the newspaper reported, the fiber taken from standing trees are necessary to help give the tissue its fluffy feel.

“No forest of any kind should be used to make toilet paper,” said Dr. Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist and waste expert with the Natural Resource Defense Council told the Times.

Headline: Jaywalker Saves Three From Truck, Still Gets Ticket
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: WTF
The Colorado State Patrol is reconsidering the jaywalking ticket issued to a good Samaritan who was seriously injured by a pickup after he pushed three people out of its path.

Bus driver Jim Moffett and another man were helping two elderly women cross a busy Denver street in a snowstorm when he was hit Feb. 20.

Moffett, 58, suffered bleeding in the brain, broken bones, a dislocated shoulder and a possible ruptured spleen. He remained hospitalized in serious condition Friday.

Moffett, the other good Samaritan and one of the women were cited for jaywalking. The patrol said the other woman wasn't directly involved. The patrol originally said that despite Moffett's intentions, jaywalking contributed to the accident..


Headline: Alarm Company: Um, Sir? Your House Is On Fire
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: Balls Of Fire
A Connecticut man was so engrossed with the tunes on his iPod that he didn't realize his house was on fire _ until his alarm company called.

Pomfret Assistant Fire Chief Edward Bates says Andrew Riley told him he was listening to music Thursday afternoon when the blaze broke out on the upper floor of his 2 1/2-story house.

Bates says Riley didn't smell smoke or hear the smoke alarm going off.

After receiving the call, Riley dashed upstairs and shut a door to the burning room.

Firefighters arrived on the scene and quickly put out the blaze. The damage was limited to the exercise room and an adjoining office.

Headline: Budget Airline May Charge to Use Plane Toilet
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: The this include having sex in one.
Budget airline Ryanair is toying with the idea of charging passengers $1.40 to use the lavatory during flights, the Daily Telegraph reported Friday.

Ryanair's chief executive, Michael O'Leary, said in an interview that the no-frills airline was considering installing a coin slot on bathroom doors, according to the Telegraph.

O'Leary said the Dublin-based airline was trying to make air travel easier and more affordable.

Headline: Mich. Man Pleads No Contest In Vacuum Sex Act Case
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption:He Did What With A Vacuum?

A man has pleaded no contest to indecent exposure after police said he was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum. The Saginaw News reported 29-year-old Jason Leroy Savage entered the plea Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court. A no-contest plea is not an admission of guilt but will be treated as one at sentencing on March 25.

Police said Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early..

Headline: Sex-party nudists get into the swing
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: A Tad Of Nudity
MONTH-long sex party will put about 250 bare bums in the beds of a nudist resort in the heart of Mossman, north of Cairns. The White Cockatoo is almost fully booked next month for its Adults Only promotion, a swingers' romp where "almost anything goes".

"We've effectively sold out," resort owner Tony Fox said.

"It's a totally clothing optional, adults only month with almost no rules applicable.

"Provided it doesn't constitute a breach of the Australian law, they (guests) are welcome to do anything."

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