Sad

Headline: Teen's Body in Morgue a Month as Family Searched
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 22.3.9
Caption: Sad!!

NEW YORK — A 16-year-old girl whose misidentified body languished in a morgue for a month, while her family searched for her, died from an asthma attack she suffered as she was restrained and raped, officials said Friday.

Tiana Rice was reported missing Dec. 30, when she didn't return to her Bronx home after going to Brooklyn to meet someone she had gotten to know online, police said.

Police responded that night to a call of an unconscious woman at an abandoned Brooklyn home, and EMS pronounced the girl dead. It was Tiana, but she was mistakenly identified via the driver's license of a previous resident of the home, who is still alive.

The 911 call came from a pay phone not far from where Tiana's body was found, clad only in socks, police said. It was unclear whether she had meant to go to the abandoned home.

An anthropologist later realized Tiana's body didn't match the age of the person on the driver's license. The body was identified a month later, after the anthropologist pored over missing-person records.

Headline: Man lays off dad -- twice
Origin of Clip: CNN.com 21.3.9
Caption: You're Sacked Dad

ORANGE PARK, Fla. -- The economy has been hard on many families across the country, but for one Orange Park man and his father it has been especially difficult. Greg Holloway says tough economic times have forced him to fire his father. Greg Holloway, owner of Orange Park Drywall, said he knows firsthand about how the bad economy has affected businesses. He has had to lay off his father, twice.
"When the market really started getting bad, I had to let him go," Holloway said.
The first time was when Holloway was a supervisor at a company for which both he and his dad worked. Holloway later left that drywall company and formed his own. In 2007, he hired his father, 70-year-old Mitch Holloway as an adviser

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Headline: Tour Bus Boarding ... to Baghdad?
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 21.3.9
Caption: Iraq Now Open

Iraq receives first group of Western tourists since 2003, in the latest indication of improved security..

Headline: Robot Fish to Monitor Pollution in Spanish Port
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 21.3.9
Caption: Wonder How They Taste Fried in Oil

LONDON — A school of mechanical, battery-powered robots in the shape of fish will be released into a Spanish port to help monitor pollution there, scientists said Friday.

The 5-foot-long (1.5-meter-long) robots work by mimicking the swishing movements of a fish's tail, according to University of Essex robotics expert Huosheng Hu, whose team is manufacturing the machines.

He said the robo-fish would be equipped with sensors to monitor oxygen levels in the water, detect oil slicks spilled from ships or contaminants pumped into the water from underground pipes.

Headline: Hairy Problem Solved: N.J. Scraps Plan to Ban Waxing
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 20.3.9
Caption: You Can Wax Those Pubes

TRENTON, N.J. — New Jersey is smoothing out differences over a plan to ban bare-it-all bikini waxing.

The state on Friday decided to reverse course on the proposal after angry salon owners complained about losing business ahead of swimsuit season.

"It was an unnecessary issue," said spa owner Linda Orsuto. "In New Jersey especially, where the government has been picking our pockets for so long, it was like, 'Just stay out of our pants, will you?"'

The state Cosmetology and Hairstyling Board proposed banning so-called "Brazilian" bikini waxing after two women were hospitalized for infections following the procedure.

On Friday, Consumer Affairs Director David Szuchman effectively killed the plan. In a letter to the board, Szuchman says he won't support the ban, and since his office oversees the board, the ban would never be approved.

Headline: Clorox Offers $5K To Wipe Out SF 'toilet Torcher'
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 20.3.9
Caption: Potty Burner

The Clorox Company is offering a $5,000 reward and a year's supply of toilet cleaning products for tips leading to the arrest of San Francisco's notorious portable potty pyromaniac.

The Oakland-based chemical company deployed a "potty patrol" team in the city Friday to make residents aware of its offer marrying marketing and community service.

Since November, more than two dozen construction site toilets have been set on fire in the city, causing an estimated $50,000 in property damage

Headline: 'Deadliest' Spider Found in Grocer Aisle
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 20.3.9
Caption: Itsy Bitsy Spider

One of the most deadly spiders in the world was found in the produce section of an upscale Oklahoma grocery store.
Or was it?
An employee of Whole Foods Market in Tulsa discovered what an expert said was a Brazilian wandering spider in a bunch of bananas from Honduras on Sunday and managed to catch it in a container.
The spider was given to University of Tulsa animal facilities director Terry Childs, who identified the arachnid and said that type of spider is one of the most lethal in the world.
Childs said a bite will kill a person in about 25 minutes, and while there is an antidote, he doesn't know of any in the Tulsa area.
But a Tulsa Zoo official disputed the findings, saying his analysis through video and photos he'd seen led him to believe that it was a Huntsman spider — which is harmless to humans.

Headline: Monty Python prop causes bomb scare
Origin of Clip: telegraph.co.uk 20.3.9
Caption: A Bang of a Laugh

Bomb disposal teams were called in and buildings evacuated after workmen mistook a Monty Python film prop for a hand grenade.
Water company engineers spotted the object when they lifted up a fire hydrant cover during work on a street in Shoreditch, east London. ....But after nearly an hour of analysis bomb experts realised that the cause of the scare was in fact a copy of the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch" used by Eric Idle to slaughter a killer rabbit in the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail.

Body Fax

Headline: Fax Leads Los Angeles Police to Body in Car Trunk
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.3.9
Caption: Body Fax

LOS ANGELES — Police following an anonymous tip sent by fax to a television station found a dead woman in the trunk of her car Saturday, and are looking for the sender and two men alleged in the message to have been involved in the crime.

Officers discovered the body in a Valley Village neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley soon after being notified by KTLA-TV staff members about the faxed letter, Officer April Harding said. The sender described himself or herself only as "someone trying to help."

The sender wrote that a woman was killed Feb. 28 and that her body was in a black trash bag in a car. The sender said the car would be within a 2-square-mile area of a specific address; police found it several blocks away on a shady residential street facing the 101 Freeway.

Headline: Crazy driver dances at the wheel
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.3.9
Caption: Dancing his life away

Truck driver releases video: dancing in his cab as he speeds along motorway
A Romanian truck driver is being hunted by police after releasing a video of himself dancing in his cab as he thunders along a motorway.

Headline: Man Clings to Life With 2 Beating Hearts in His Body
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.3.9
Caption: Two Are Better Than One - We hopes he makes it.

A brave Brazilian man is fighting for his life — with two beating hearts inside his body.

The unnamed 53-year-old is in a stable condition after a 12-hour operation.

But doctors at Sao Paulo's Heart Institute fear he only has a 50 percent chance of surviving.

The patient has suffered severe lung hypertension that stopped his heart pumping blood around his body.

So he was given the new donor organ to prop up his own heart.

The "new" heart was placed on the right side of his chest and is linked to his original heart by a vein, arteries of the lung and the aorta.

"This is not a routine transplant, the situation is exceptional," Surgeon Alfredo Fiorelli, who carried out the transplant, said. "The next 72 hours will be fundamental to evaluate his state."

Headline: Alligator Accused of Starting Fire at Abandoned School
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.3.9
Caption: Nothing Like a Aligator Firebug

NEW CASTLE, Pa. — A four-foot alligator rescued in an abandoned school on fire in western Pennsylvania may have also started the blaze.

North Beaver Township officials are not identifying the owner of the former elementary school that burned Thursday afternoon near New Castle, about 40 miles northwest of Pittsburgh.

But they say the man was living with a menagerie of animals in the building, including the alligator, about 70 rabbits and unspecified "aquatic animals." The Pennsylvania Game Commission is involved in caring for the animal.

Fire Chief Paul Henry says the building's owner believes the alligator started the fire by knocking over a portable heater.

Headline: Celebrity Chef's Restaurant Sickens 400, Stays Closed
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 6.3.9
Caption: So Much for the Fat Duck

BRAY, England — It's a culinary mystery worthy of Agatha Christie.
Britain's Health Protection Agency said Friday about 400 people reported falling ill after eating at The Fat Duck, a world-renowned British establishment reputed for dishes such as snail porridge and bacon-and-egg ice cream. Health officials are baffled by the outbreak of diarrhea and vomiting while the celebrity chef, Heston Blumenthal, has said his restaurant will remain closed until the mystery is solved.

"It's so weird — we haven't found anything. But I can't take the risk of keeping open until we have exhausted every single avenue," Blumenthal told The Times of London last week, shortly after the first group of people reported falling ill.

Headline: Conn. Man Chewing On Charges Of Stealing Gum
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 6.3.9
Caption: I'm forever chewing bubble gum

Police in Connecticut have arrested a man with a several-pack-a-day habit _ of Orbit gum.

Twenty-one-year-old Kenneth McManus of Stratford has been charged with stealing hundreds of packs of the chewing gum.

Fairfield police say McManus turned himself in Thursday. He is accused of stealing 175 packs of gum worth more than $500 from a Shaw's supermarket in Fairfield in January.

Police say he also faces larceny charges of stealing $200 worth of gum from the Shaw's in Stratford and $75 worth of gum from a CVS store in Bridgeport.

We Know That Stiff

Headline: Field Trips Nixed After Students See Classmate Autopsy
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: We Know That Stiff

PONTIAC, Mich. — A medical examiner's office in Michigan has canceled public school tours after a high school group watched the autopsy of a 14-year-old girl from their district.

The Detroit News reports Monday that Oakland County officials decided to stop the tours in Pontiac after they were contacted by the girl's parents, who were very upset about the March tour.

Mike Zehnder, the county's director of public services, says it was "a poor decision" to let the tour go on.

Headline: Rhino escapes zoo pen in search for love
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Horny

A RANDY rhinoceros escaped its enclosure today and went looking for love - but has been sedated near a perimeter fence.
The escapee - an 18-year-old male white rhino named Satara - was reported to have escaped Monarto Zoo, east of Adelaide, around just after 1pm (CST) today.

Relieved zoo keepers then reported the amorous animal lacked an adequate sense of direction and was not able to gain access to the female object of his desire, AdelaideNow reports

Headline: Man stole police car to sell its tyres
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Dumb Ass

A MAN who stole an empty police car crashed it into a garbage dumpster at the end of a two-hour joy ride
"When I found the car and I saw it had the key in the ignition, well, I just got in," foiled car thief Alejandro Juarez said in Aguascalientes, Mexico.

"I was thinking about taking off the tyres so I could sell them," he said.

"But then I was thinking first I would take it for a spin - and then bam, I got a bit distracted and crashed," Mr Juarez said.

Headline: 'Tis the season to dump grannies - doctors
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Bye, Bye Grannies

ELDERLY Victorians are being dumped in hospital emergency departments as their relatives go on holidays.

Frontline hospital staff have lifted the lid on the shocking practice of "granny dumping", saying it is on the increase and peaks over the Christmas period.

There are calls for an urgent inquiry as worried emergency department workers warn the practice is robbing genuine patients of vital beds.

Last Monday, a woman in her 70s was delivered by ambulance to the Northern Hospital's emergency department, where her relatives requested she stay for three weeks.

Headline: By order of the Grinches of Granite City...Christmas is cancelled
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 7.12.8
Caption: A Council of Grinches

Published Date: 07 December 2008
By Eddie Barnes
DING DONG Miserably On High. Welcome to Christmas Aberdeen-style.
Local politicians in the Granite City have slashed £100,000 from their annual Christmas budget this year, claiming they need to save money rather than lay on extravagant celebrations to mark the festive period. A new nativity scene has been axed, free panto tickets for the poor have been stopped and the council children's party has been suspended amid claims that in previous years the public didn't get involved. But critics last night accused the councillors responsible for the decision of having "cancelled Christmas". They also contrasted the decision to cut £100,000 from Christmas spending with council plans to lavish £80m on a new headquarters.

Headline: Crimials watching CSI for tips
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 7.12.8
Caption: CSI Crime 101

AUSTRALIA's top forensic investigator believes criminals are watching CSI-style television shows to learn how to outsmart detectives.
Dr James Robertson, head of Forensic and Technical Services with the Australian Federal Police, said the programs were helping criminals become more "forensically aware" of crime and better informed about covering their tracks.

He made the concession last week as he prepared to give a keynote address on DNA testing in homicide investigations.

Dr Robertson also said DNA analysts around the country "need to do their job better" and avoid collecting DNA samples in an "unintelligent" way.

The emergence of popular crime dramas, like CSI: Miami and City Homicide, which feature the latest techniques and analysis, have "let the rabbit out of the hat" for criminals, he said, giving savvier crooks a tactical advantage over police investigators.