When Praying is a Sin

Headline: Punished for Praying
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: When Praying is a Sin

Two California students can sue their community college district after their school threatened to suspend them for praying on campus, a federal judge ruled.

Kandy Kyriacou and Ojoma Omaga said the College of Alameda accused them of "disruptive behavior" after they had prayed with an ailing teacher in a faculty office in December of 2007, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

The students said the school issued suspension notices to them.

Although public colleges are prohibited from endorsing religion, U.S. District Judge Susan Illston ruled that the women can proceed with a lawsuit against Peralta Community College District.

Illston said college students have the right to pray in private outside the classroom, according to the Chronicle.

The lawsuit seeks an acknowledgment of that right and an apology, and wants all disciplinary action be rescinded, said one of the pair's lawyers, Steven Wood.

Headline: Environmental Agency Offices Pollute Wash. Creek
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Proof that the environment has not got a chance

Washington state environmental regulators say they've finally found the source of pollution that has been fouling a creek near Vancouver Lake: the agency's own sewer pipes.

City workers have discovered that an office building's sewer line was mistakenly connected to a storm drain, rather than the municipal sewer main.

The 1970s-vintage building houses Washington state Department of Ecology regional offices, as well as those of the Department of Fish and Game and U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

Headline: Church's 'No More Christians' Signs Get Attention
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Say What! OMG

A Florida church is trying to persuade people to return to worship with a provocative campaign that has raised a few eyebrows around town.

The Mosaic Church of Crestview, a non-denominational Christian church, used the slogan "No More Christians" to spark conversation and attract the attention of people who have grown lackadaisical in their religious practice, the Crestview News Bulletin reported.

The campaign advertises a series of discussions with names like "Why you should be an atheist instead of a Christian" and "Why you should be a Muslim instead of a Christian."

Mosaic Church Pastor James Ross said the discussions are meant to "creatively and aggressively try to show (people) that God loves them so much that even though they are still sinners, Christ died for them," the News Bulletin reported.

Headline: Duo Accused Of Trying To Steal Restaurant Grease
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 9.4.9
Caption: All Greased Up

Two Detroit-area men face larceny and trespassing charges after authorities say they tried to steal used restaurant grease. Westland police Sgt. Steve Borisch said 52-year-old Christopher Kind and 44-year-old Richard Tallent were arrested early Tuesday at a restaurant in the city 10 miles west of Detroit.

Borisch said an employee of a business that collects and recycles grease under contract with area restaurants had blocked the two with his truck. He told police 1,000 pounds of grease worth about $160 had been drained from a nearby eatery's grease tank.

Headline: Divorce Court No Place For Frozen Dog Sperm Flap
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Going once, going twice, going three times. The sperm goes to you

The judge wondered if she was an unwitting participant in an episode of "Candid Camera" or "Punk'd." Oakland County Family Court Judge Cheryl Matthews wasn't. She just had a front-bench seat Wednesday for a feud between a divorced couple over who gets frozen sperm from bull mastiffs they bred in happier times.

When Anthony and Karen Scully split in 2002, they divvied up the six bull mastiffs they owned. He kept four; she took two. Now, they're fighting over who owns the semen from Cyrus, Regg and Romeo that's being stored at a center in Sterling Heights.

Fat Report

Headline: Mass. Schools to Issue 'Fat' Report Cards on Students
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Fat Report

BOSTON — Massachusetts health officials have approved regulations that would require sending children's Body Mass Index measurements home to parents.

The Public Health Council voted unanimously Wednesday to calculate student heights and weights, which are already measured annually, into a Body Mass Index measuring their overall proportions.

The results will be sent home to parents for students in first, fourth, seventh and 10th grades in a package explaining what they mean and how parents can best combat obesity.

Department of Public Health Medical Director Lauren Smith says Massachusetts will join Arkansas in notifying parents about a child's Body Mass Index. Eighteen other states require a BMI calculation.

Headline: Mother Wins Right to Harvest Dead Son's Sperm
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Is this not incest after the fact?

AUSTIN, Texas — A judge has granted a mother's request to have someone harvest sperm from her dead son's body, so she can have the option of carrying out his wish to have children.

Nikolas Colton Evans, 21, died Sunday at a hospital after being punched and falling outside an Austin bar March 27.

His mother, Marissa Evans, told the Austin American-Statesman newspaper that he wanted to have three sons someday and had even picked out their names: Hunter, Tod and Van.

"I want him to live on. I want to keep a piece of him," she told the newspaper.

Travis County Probate Judge Guy Herman ruled Monday in an emergency hearing requested by the mother, because of the urgency of collecting the sperm intact.
Court documents said the sperm had to be collected within 24 hours of Nikolas Evans being removed from life support unless the body was cooled to no more than 39.2 degrees Fahrenheit (4 Celsius).
Herman ordered the county medical examiner's office to continue storing the body at the proper temperature until the sperm could be collected.

Headline: Irate Diner Dials 911 After Shrimp Order Falls Short
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 7.4.9
Caption: Shrimp emergency

A woman called 911 recently from Dallas-area restaurant merely to complain that she did not receive the extra shrimp she had ordered -- and she may get away with the "emergency" call without facing punishment, MyFOXDFW.com reports.

“I always get the shrimp fried rice, so I said I’m going to get extra meat this time,” the woman told a 911 operator on Monday. “But he didn’t even put extra shrimp in there and I asked him, ‘Can you give me extra shrimp or can you give me my money back?’”

She added that the employee at A&D Buffalo’s in Haltom, Texas, “sort of hollered so I said I would call the police.”

Restaurant employees described the woman to MyFOXDFW.com as a regular customer. She asked for a refund, but since she had left the building and come back, they refused.

"She started yelling and screaming, brought her boyfriend in and they started making a scene in here,” Alex Kim, the restaurant’s attorney told the Dallas/Forth Worth FOX affiliate.

Headline: Man Decides To Clean With Gasoline While Smoking
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 7.4.9
Caption: Tell us another one dude

A man faces an arson charge after telling authorities he wasn't thinking when he decided to use gasoline for cleaning up his apartment, and then tossed a lit cigarette into a pile of gas-soaked cushions and clothes. A criminal complaint filed Monday quoted a 47-year-old man as saying he knew gasoline is flammable and never should have used it.

The complaint said that when the fire began Friday, he didn't pull the fire alarm but instead shouted "fire" a couple times and walked to the Menasha police department for an ambulance to take him to the hospital where he was treated for burns.

Headline: Officer Tickets Parked Car as Woman Lies Dead Inside
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 7.4.9
Caption: Stiff Gets Ticket

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — A parking enforcement officer issued a ticket for a pickup truck outside an Alabama emergency room while a woman lay dead inside the vehicle, authorities said.

Rebecca Kate Haley, 25, had been dead for at least seven hours when an illegal parking ticket was put on the windshield, authorities said.

Police spokesman Sgt. Johnny Williams Jr. said the officer didn't see Haley because she was slumped over in the truck's cab. Drug paraphernalia was found in the truck.

Williams said Tuesday that Haley's cause of death had not been determined.

About an hour after the ticket was issued at 10:15 a.m. Monday outside the UAB hospital, a passer-by spotted Haley.

Headline: Missing: $1,200 Worth Of Lip Gloss
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 7.4.9
Caption: Look for the woman with the glossy lips

Here's some lip gloss that's really hot. Police want to know who made off with 74 tubes of "Beauty Rush" _ worth about $1,200 _ from a suburban New York Victoria's Secret store. Clarkstown police believe the cosmetics went missing from a bin sometime Saturday. The store, in the Nanuet Mall, reported the theft on Sunday.

Police are reviewing surveillance footage for clues.

Headline: Man admits grabbing breasts
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 7.4.9
Caption: Man at tracks grabs racks

A MAN who grabbed the breasts of two women at the Wellard and Rockingham train stations has pleaded guilty to indecent assault.

The 20-year-old Rockingham man pleaded guilty to the attacks and will reappear in Rockingham Magistrate's Court for a pre-sentence report on May 8.

A MUST READ - This has to be a joke or this world is wacky - It's a fun tool

Headline: Primary school kids sex website shock
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 6.4.9
Caption: It's a Fun Toll!!?? This has to be a joke or this world is wacky

PRIMARY school students are being told abortion can be "a relief" and hormones make you "feel sexy" on a website endorsed by Education Queensland.

Outraged parent groups are demanding the State Government immediately withdraw its endorsement, warning the website is inappropriate and even dangerous for pre-teens.

But educators argue it is a valuable, fun tool that helps children entering their teens learn about their bodies.

The controversial site, thehormonefactory.com, has been approved as a student resource for Queensland Year 7 classes.

Set up by La Trobe University, it uses cartoons to tell 10 to 12-year-olds why certain hormones give them "sexy thoughts" and start making them "interested in sex".

It asks students if they think "a six-inch penis is normal" and if they believe "13 is too young to have a baby".

Headline: Texas Man Allegedly Trying to Beat Demon Out of Son
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 6.4.9
Caption: The Demons are in the father

HOUSTON — A Houston man who allegedly thought demons invaded his home and family was jailed Monday on charges he beat his 3-year-old son.

Jacky Tran was held on $100,000 bond on felony injury to a child charges after he allegedly tried to rid the boy of evil spirits.

A jail official, who declined to give his name to The Associated Press, had no information early Monday on an attorney for the 35-year-old Tran.

A relative, Thuba To, told the Houston Chronicle that Tran believes he is an "angel" sent by God.

Tran was arrested after officers Saturday night responded to a security alarm. A police report indicates officers saw Tran swinging something, possibly the boy.

The child, whose name was not released, was transported to a Houston hospital for treatment of skull fractures and was expected to survive.

Headline: 'Cheating partner' sparks mid-air rage
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 6.4.9
Caption: Mile High Club It's Not

ARMED police boarded a flight at London's Heathrow Airport and arrested a trio involved in mid-air argument over a sex act.

The incident involved a model who allegedly flew into a drunken rage on a plane after catching her boyfriend engaging in a sex act with a woman sitting next to him.

Magazine covergirl Sarah Hannon, 35, is said to have woken from a nine-hour flight onboard Kingfisher Airlines to London from the Indian city of Bangalor to find partner Daniel Melia enjoying a sexual act, The Sun reports.

A police source said Ms Hannon fell asleep after drinking with Mr Melia before and during the flight.

Mr Melia then “got on well” with Ms Irby underneath a blanket but was stopped by hostesses – at which point Sarah awoke and started screaming...

Headline: 'Drunk mum breastfed son while driving'
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 5.4.9
Caption: Driving While Boob Sucked

A WOMAN pulled over after almost crashing into a police car while breastfeeding her infant son was too drunk to submit to a breath test, police say.

The Alice Springs woman, 19, was arrested in the central Australian town about 7pm (CST) on Saturday when she allegedly drove her Holden wagon from the car park of the Gap View Hotel and into the path of a patrol car, police said.

They pulled her over a short distance along Gap Road and allegedly found her breastfeeding the boy at the wheel.

Headline: DD cup runneth over for Aussie women
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 5.4.9
Caption: Boobs Are Bigger

THE bra market is expanding, literally. Up to 40 per cent of Australian women now buy bras with a cup size of DD or higher, new figures from lingerie suppliers show.

In the 1950s, the most common bra-cup size was a B - three sizes less than a DD.

Modern breasts are getting so large that some bra companies have introduced cup sizes as high as K, The Sunday Telegraph reports.

Experts blame the cleavage boost on obesity, contraceptive pills and artificial hormones.

Myer lingerie buyer Kerryn Sawyer said sales of DD-plus bras have grown from about 20 per cent of sales to 28 per cent in just five years.

Headline: Kids Told to Shout Obscenities in 'Swearing Lesson'
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 5.4.9
Caption: They Swear

A British school was blasted Friday after kids as young as 11 were told to shout obscenities during a lesson in swearing.

Expletives like the f-word and c-word were written on a blackboard before a teacher explained their meaning to 30 seventh graders.

S.t Laurence School in Bradford on Avon, Wilts, claims it was part of a sex and relationship education program to "dispel" the myths of swear words.

But parents say they were not consulted by head James Colquhoun about the class and say kids were left "deeply upset."

One parent said: "This is a total disgrace. Our children go to school to gain an education, not qualifications in swear words. Most kids had no idea what the words meant and were forced to grow up faster than their parents want. Heads should roll for this."

Headline: Villagers chase away Google car
Origin of Clip: CNN.com 5.4.9
Caption: Villagers surfs Google out of town

Google's ambitious plan to offer a 3-D street level view of communities across three continents hit a snag when angry residents of a UK village blocked the search engine's camera car from photographing their homes.
Fearing the appearance of their well appointed properties on the Web site would attract criminals scouting for burglary targets, villagers in Broughton, north of London, summoned the police after spotting the car.

"I was upstairs when I spotted the camera car driving down the lane," resident Paul Jacobs told The Times of London.

"My immediate reaction was anger: How dare anyone take a photograph of my home without my consent? I ran outside to flag the car down and told the driver he was not only invading our privacy but also facilitating crime.

Headline: Man clings to car bonnet for 4kms
Origin of Clip: canada.com 5.4.9
Caption: My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean or we should say The Man Lies Over The Bonnet

A MAN had to cling to the bonnet of a car for four kilometres as its driver allegedly attempted to throw him off during a road rage incident in Sydney.
NSW Police said the 30-year-old man and his wife were travelling along Parramatta Road at Concord in Sydney's inner west at 8.20pm (AEDT) last night when they were involved in a minor collision with a Peugeot hatchback.

After the Peugeot failed to stop, the couple caught up with it further along Parramatta Road, where they stopped and approached the vehicle while it was stuck in heavy traffic.

The driver of the Peugeot then allegedly began to drive at the couple, forcing the man onto the bonnet.

They Swear

Headline: Kids Told to Shout Obscenities in 'Swearing Lesson'
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 5.4.9
Caption: They Swear

A British school was blasted Friday after kids as young as 11 were told to shout obscenities during a lesson in swearing.

Expletives like the f-word and c-word were written on a blackboard before a teacher explained their meaning to 30 seventh graders.

S.t Laurence School in Bradford on Avon, Wilts, claims it was part of a sex and relationship education program to "dispel" the myths of swear words.

But parents say they were not consulted by head James Colquhoun about the class and say kids were left "deeply upset."

One parent said: "This is a total disgrace. Our children go to school to gain an education, not qualifications in swear words. Most kids had no idea what the words meant and were forced to grow up faster than their parents want. Heads should roll for this."

Headline: Villagers chase away Google car
Origin of Clip: CNN.com 5.4.9
Caption: Villagers surfs Google out of town

Google's ambitious plan to offer a 3-D street level view of communities across three continents hit a snag when angry residents of a UK village blocked the search engine's camera car from photographing their homes.
Fearing the appearance of their well appointed properties on the Web site would attract criminals scouting for burglary targets, villagers in Broughton, north of London, summoned the police after spotting the car.

"I was upstairs when I spotted the camera car driving down the lane," resident Paul Jacobs told The Times of London.

"My immediate reaction was anger: How dare anyone take a photograph of my home without my consent? I ran outside to flag the car down and told the driver he was not only invading our privacy but also facilitating crime.

Headline: Man clings to car bonnet for 4kms
Origin of Clip: canada.com 5.4.9
Caption: My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean or we should say The Man Lies Over The Bonnet

A MAN had to cling to the bonnet of a car for four kilometres as its driver allegedly attempted to throw him off during a road rage incident in Sydney.
NSW Police said the 30-year-old man and his wife were travelling along Parramatta Road at Concord in Sydney's inner west at 8.20pm (AEDT) last night when they were involved in a minor collision with a Peugeot hatchback.

After the Peugeot failed to stop, the couple caught up with it further along Parramatta Road, where they stopped and approached the vehicle while it was stuck in heavy traffic.

The driver of the Peugeot then allegedly began to drive at the couple, forcing the man onto the bonnet.

Headline: Drive-thru nude at Tim Hortons
Origin of Clip: canada.com 4.4.9
Caption: Nude at Hortons

Defying conventional wisdom about the dangers of mixing hot beverages and naked bodies, a man showed up skin to seat at a Tim Hortons drive-through Thursday morning. "My understanding is a gentleman came through the drive-through operating a mini-van wearing nothing but a smile," said Sgt. David Cowan of Saint John police. Police were called, but the clothing-liberated driver had already driven away. Cowan said he didn't know if the driver got his coffee.

Headline: It's official - you look like your dog
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 4.4.9
Caption: That wasn't me that was my dog

SCIENTISTS have proved it is possible to match a person to their dog just by their appearance.

And the study suggests a possible reason - people are drawn to pets with similar physical attributes.

Men and women shown pictures of dog owners and asked to guess whether they had a labrador, poodle or staffordshire bull terrier fared almost twice as well as would be expected by chance.

Researchers at Britain's Bath Spa University first set out to see if dogs and their masters had similar personalities.

: Ass paddling the cane way

Headline: Teachers given the cane go-ahead
Origin of Clip: news.com 28.3.9
Caption: Ass paddling the cane way

THE cane is still being wielded at some Queensland schools where parents sign legal waivers to give teachers the power to hit their children.

The corporal punishment option is offered at some of the state's fastest-growing independent schools as part of their strict behaviour management strategies.

Religious beliefs are used to justify discipline at some schools, The Sunday Mail reports.

With more than 55,000 suspensions handed out at state schools last financial year - a jump of more than 20 per cent in two years - Independent Schools Queensland has reported growing support for private schools catering for the "disengaged and at-risk" school sector.

Headline: Broke students marrying for money
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 27.3.9
Caption: Marrying for money is not all bad

STRUGGLING Australian university students are getting married for money, exploiting a legal loophole to qualify for government assistance to survive.
Tertiary students have become so desperate for financial support that some as young as 19 are resorting to marrying flatmates, friends and ex-partners so they can be classed as an independent and receive Youth Allowance.

Under guidelines for the federal Government scheme, a person is only deemed independent if they are over 25, have earned $18,000 in the past 18 months, are unable to live at home due to family breakdown, or are married.

Those who qualify are eligible to receive a welfare payment of up to $400 a fortnight. University unions fear the current economic climate could force a flood of young people to marry to make ends meet.

Headline: 'Dumbest Criminal' Nabbed In Cop Convention Holdup
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 27.3.9
Caption: Another Dumb Thief

A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.
Comparetto gave up his money and cell phone. But when the man fled, Comparetto and some colleagues chased him. They arrested a 19-year-old man as he was trying to leave in a taxi.

Headline: Man Puts Finger In Gas Tank, Gets Stuck For Hours
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 27.3.9
Caption: You Gotta Watch Where You Stick Your Finger.

A Michigan man has learned not to stick his fingers in certain places. Victor Harris, of Saginaw, Michigan, was pouring a fuel additive into his Lincoln Navigator sport utility vehicle Thursday when a piece of paper fell into the gas tank. Harris tried to fish the paper out, but his index finger became stuck in the gas tank. WJRT-TV reported Harris tried to extract his digit for two hours before friends called the fire department. It took another two hours before emergency responders cut the gas tank tube out of the vehicle

Taking The Bite Out Of It

Headline: Rumors Bites! Headmaster Denies Vampires At School
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 26.3.9
Caption: Taking The Bite Out Of It

Apparently, it's not the bloody truth. After stories spread that vampires were strolling the campus of Boston Latin School, the headmaster of the prestigious college-prep school put a stake in the rumors. Lynne Mooney Teta sent a notice out Thursday to faculty, students, and parents denying the presence of bloodsuckers. She declined, however, to offer details about the rumors.

Boston Police spokesman Eddy Chrispin said police were called to the school Wednesday after hearing of the vampire tales. Chrispin said he didn't know if the alleged vampires were among the student body or hiding in old corners of the building.

Headline: Doctors Reattach Man's Arm After 900-Pound Pig Attack
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 26.3.9
Caption: Porked

CLOVIS, N.M. — A 26-year-old Curry County man had his arm nearly severed by a 900-pound boar that attacked him when he reached into the animal's pen to grab a water hose.

Curry County sheriff's deputies say Juan Cruz, a dairy worker, was attacked March 16 when he was feeding the boar and about 18 other pigs at his home in rural eastern New Mexico.

Cruz, speaking through an interpreter, says doctors in Lubbock, Texas, reattached his arm, but he is waiting to see if the operation was successful.

Cruz says the pig wasn't mean and the attack was unexpected.

Headline: Man Gets 90 Days In Jail In Vacuum Sex Act Case
Origin of Clip:CBSnews.com 26.3.9
Caption: Nothing Like Good Suction

Man Accused Of Performing Sex Act With Car Wash Vacuum Sentenced To 90 Days In Jail

Headline: School to Parents: Dead Daughter Can't Go to Prom
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 25.3.9
Caption: How can a dead person go to school?
We are not making fun of the death. We are making fun of the stupid school.

The parents of a British teen, who died suddenly two months ago, received a disturbing letter from the girl's high school saying she needs to improve her attendance or can't go to the prom, the Manchester Evening News reported.

The letter said Megan Gillan's attendance was 60.4 percent and the school requires its students to keep a 92 percent attendance record.

"I screamed when I first saw it," her mother Margaret Gillan told the newspaper. If they want her to attend that much I'll take Megan's remains. It's disgusting."

Gillan was found dead Jan. 19 in her bedroom at her parent's home. The letter was dated March 16.

Headline: Driver Says GPS Unit Led Him to Edge of Cliff
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 25.3.9
Caption: GPS Gets Mean

A British driver has blamed his GPS navigation unit for leaving his car teetering on the edge of a cliff after he followed its instructions.

Robert Jones said he trusted his navigational system and continued to follow it when it told him the steep, narrow footpath he was driving on was a road.

Jones, from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, northern England, now has a court date for driving without due care and attention.

His BMW nearly plunged down a 100-foot cliff in Todmorden, West Yorkshire, on Sunday

Headline: Family Visits Wrong Gravesite For 24 Years Following Cemetery Mix-Up
Origin of Clip: citynews.ca 25.3.9
Caption: Sad really

For the past 24 years a Toronto family has been visiting a gravesite they believed held the remains of their great grandfather. It turns out they have been laying flowers, and prayers, down at the plot of a total stranger.

... she brought her mother's ashes to be buried with her great grandfather at Resthaven Memorial Gardens on Monday.

When she arrived she found a new marker in his usual spot, and was then told that his grave was actually in another location.

"He came out said 'No, you're confused, you're upset, It happens to people.' I said, 'No, I am not. I know where I have been doing for 24 years..." **** said.

"We've been bringing flowers every birthday, every Father's Day, Christmas. And we've been visiting him and it's not even him."

Headline: Romantic Teen Seeks Prom Date, Gets Cops Instead
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 25.3.9
Caption: Spray Painted Romance Gets Tainted

A South Carolina teen's romantic gesture has won him the attention of police and environmental officers. Authorities told The Island Packet of Hilton Head that the 18-year-old man was caught spray painting the word "prom" on the beach near the home Sunday of the young lady he wanted to take to the dance. A neighbor had called police.

Deputies made the teen clean the area, but did not file any charges.

The spray paint cans were sent to environmental officials to see if the chemicals pose any harm to the beach.

Headline: Frantic 911 Call: "My Wife Is Biting Me!"
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 24.3.9
Caption: Help, I Need Someone

Some people will go to fisticuffs to get their point across, and others will go to, well, handcuffs, reports WCBS In New York.

Such was the case for a Fairfield woman having marital problems who desperately wanted to talk to her husband after he apparently decided to leave her.

Helen Sun, 37, was arrested Tuesday after sneaking into Robert Drawbough's bedroom and handcuffing herself to him while he slept so they could talk.

Drawbough, frightened by his wife's antics, however, called police immediately and begged the dispatcher for help after his wife began biting and scratching him.

Headline: Police Say Woman Used Fake ID To Get Fake Breasts
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Fake and Flaky

Police are seeking a woman they said used a false identity to get breast implants and liposuction, then skipped town. Huntington Beach police said Monday that a 30-year-old woman opened a line of credit in someone else's name in September 2008 and had the procedures worth more than $12,000 performed at the Pacific Center For Plastic Surgery.

Headline: Spider-Man comes to boy's rescue
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 24.3.9
Caption: Spiderman Saves The Day Or Was That Mighty Mouse

A FIREMAN turned superhero when he dressed up as comic-book character Spider-Man to coax a frightened eight-year-old from a balcony, police say.
Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities yesterday when an autistic pupil, scared of going to lessons, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant said.

Despite teachers' efforts to beckon the boy inside, he refused to budge until his mother mentioned her son's love of superheroes, prompting fireman Sonchai Yoosabai to take a novel approach to the problem.

"My fireman rushed back to the fire station and took out his Spider-Man costume ... The boy immediately ran into his arms with a smile,'' Sergeant Virat Boonsadao said.

Headline: Parrot Awarded for Yelling About Choking Baby
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Parrot is a Hero

DENVER — A parrot that alerted his owner about a baby who was choking was recognized as a hero by the Red Cross.

Willie the parrot was given the Animal Lifesaver Award during the "Breakfast of Champions" event attended by Gov. Bill Ritter and Mayor John Hickenlooper.

Willie received the award Friday for his actions in November, when he and owner Megan Howard were baby-sitting a toddler. Willie repeatedly yelled "Mama, baby" when Howard went to the bathroom and the toddler started to choke on her breakfast.

How can a dead person go to school?

Headline: School to Parents: Dead Daughter Can't Go to Prom
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 25.3.9
Caption: How can a dead person go to school?
We are not making fun of the dealth. We are making fun of the stupid school.

The parents of a British teen, who died suddenly two months ago, received a disturbing letter from the girl's high school saying she needs to improve her attendance or can't go to the prom, the Manchester Evening News reported.

The letter said Megan Gillan's attendance was 60.4 percent and the school requires its students to keep a 92 percent attendance record.

"I screamed when I first saw it," her mother Margaret Gillan told the newspaper. If they want her to attend that much I'll take Megan's remains. It's disgusting."

Gillan was found dead Jan. 19 in her bedroom at her parent's home. The letter was dated March 16.

Headline: Driver Says GPS Unit Led Him to Edge of Cliff
Origin of Clip:FOXNews.com 25.3.9
Caption: GPS Gets Mean

A British driver has blamed his GPS navigation unit for leaving his car teetering on the edge of a cliff after he followed its instructions.

Robert Jones said he trusted his navigational system and continued to follow it when it told him the steep, narrow footpath he was driving on was a road.

Jones, from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, northern England, now has a court date for driving without due care and attention.

His BMW nearly plunged down a 100-foot cliff in Todmorden, West Yorkshire, on Sunday

Headline: Family Visits Wrong Gravesite For 24 Years Following Cemetery Mix-Up
Origin of Clip: citynews.ca 25.3.9
Caption: Sad really

For the past 24 years a Toronto family has been visiting a gravesite they believed held the remains of their great grandfather. It turns out they have been laying flowers, and prayers, down at the plot of a total stranger.

... she brought her mother's ashes to be buried with her great grandfather at Resthaven Memorial Gardens on Monday.

When she arrived she found a new marker in his usual spot, and was then told that his grave was actually in another location.

"He came out said 'No, you're confused, you're upset, It happens to people.' I said, 'No, I am not. I know where I have been doing for 24 years..." **** said.

"We've been bringing flowers every birthday, every Father's Day, Christmas. And we've been visiting him and it's not even him."

Headline: Romantic Teen Seeks Prom Date, Gets Cops Instead
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 25.3.9
Caption: Spray Painted Romance Gets Tainted

A South Carolina teen's romantic gesture has won him the attention of police and environmental officers. Authorities told The Island Packet of Hilton Head that the 18-year-old man was caught spray painting the word "prom" on the beach near the home Sunday of the young lady he wanted to take to the dance. A neighbor had called police.

Deputies made the teen clean the area, but did not file any charges.

The spray paint cans were sent to environmental officials to see if the chemicals pose any harm to the beach.

Headline: Frantic 911 Call: "My Wife Is Biting Me!"
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 24.3.9
Caption: Help, I Need Someone

Some people will go to fisticuffs to get their point across, and others will go to, well, handcuffs, reports WCBS In New York.

Such was the case for a Fairfield woman having marital problems who desperately wanted to talk to her husband after he apparently decided to leave her.

Helen Sun, 37, was arrested Tuesday after sneaking into Robert Drawbough's bedroom and handcuffing herself to him while he slept so they could talk.

Drawbough, frightened by his wife's antics, however, called police immediately and begged the dispatcher for help after his wife began biting and scratching him.

Headline: Police Say Woman Used Fake ID To Get Fake Breasts
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Fake and Flaky

Police are seeking a woman they said used a false identity to get breast implants and liposuction, then skipped town. Huntington Beach police said Monday that a 30-year-old woman opened a line of credit in someone else's name in September 2008 and had the procedures worth more than $12,000 performed at the Pacific Center For Plastic Surgery.

Headline: Spider-Man comes to boy's rescue
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 24.3.9
Caption: Spiderman Saves The Day Or Was That Mighty Mouse

A FIREMAN turned superhero when he dressed up as comic-book character Spider-Man to coax a frightened eight-year-old from a balcony, police say.
Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities yesterday when an autistic pupil, scared of going to lessons, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant said.

Despite teachers' efforts to beckon the boy inside, he refused to budge until his mother mentioned her son's love of superheroes, prompting fireman Sonchai Yoosabai to take a novel approach to the problem.

"My fireman rushed back to the fire station and took out his Spider-Man costume ... The boy immediately ran into his arms with a smile,'' Sergeant Virat Boonsadao said.

Headline: Parrot Awarded for Yelling About Choking Baby
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Parrot is a Hero

DENVER — A parrot that alerted his owner about a baby who was choking was recognized as a hero by the Red Cross.

Willie the parrot was given the Animal Lifesaver Award during the "Breakfast of Champions" event attended by Gov. Bill Ritter and Mayor John Hickenlooper.

Willie received the award Friday for his actions in November, when he and owner Megan Howard were baby-sitting a toddler. Willie repeatedly yelled "Mama, baby" when Howard went to the bathroom and the toddler started to choke on her breakfast.

Headline: U.S. Jobs Threatened by Cheap Chinese Condoms
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Baby Booming Condoms

With the American economy in turmoil, the government has decided to drop a long-standing contract with a U.S. company and give it to a foreign one, the Kansas City Star reported.

In a move that will cost around 300 American jobs, the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), has decided to purchase condoms from foreign companies — in countries like South Korea and China — because they cost less than American-made prophylactics, the Star reported.

The agency distributes billions of condoms to poor countries around the world, but has previously used only American-made condoms because of "Buy American" regulations, the Star reported. The stimulus bill that recently passed in Congress, however, does not include that provision for condoms...

The Principal Bite

Headline: Police: Mother Allegedly Bites Son's Principal
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 18.3.9
Caption: The Principal Bite

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A Rhode Island woman is facing charges after allegedly punching and biting her 11-year-old son's school principal after being told the boy was being suspended.

Police say 30-year-old Aleyda Uceta also bit an officer trying to arrest her after Friday's incident at Roger Williams Middle School in Providence.

She is charged with assault on school officials, assault on police officers and resisting arrest.

Principal Rudolph Moseley Jr. was allegedly assaulted after he told Uceta that her son would be suspended for three days for refusing to go to a room for misbehaving students.

Police say Uceta punched Moseley in the face and bit his left arm.

Headline: Cops: Conn. Teacher Made Boy Eat From Garbage
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 18.3.9
Caption: Read This While Eating

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — A kindergarten teacher in a Bridgeport school has been arrested for allegedly forcing a 5-year-old boy to eat his lunch from a garbage can.

Sixty-seven-year-old Anne O'Donnell of Fairfield, a teacher at Park City Magnet School, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of risk of injury to a minor.

School officials say the charge stems from an incident last week when the boy apparently tossed out his lunch of chicken nuggets and a banana from the school cafeteria.

The teacher is accused of retrieving the items from the garbage can and forcing the boy to eat them in front of her.

Headline: Pole dancer blamed for kid's pole bump
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 18.3.9
Caption: No Private Dancer Here

RAUNCHY strip club signage is posing a moral and physical danger to Hobart schoolchildren, critics say, after one youngster walked into a pole while ogling a picture of a "rude lady".
Hobart Hooters Bar owner Peter Johnson was today refusing to replace two signs causing some offence, saying the controversy was "a storm in a D-cup''.

The club is close to a cinema and a private girls' school and its 2m-high exterior signs are visible from 100m away.

They show a woman's naked torso and a bikini-clad pole dancer.

The Advertising Standards Bureau has received complaints about the signs and the girls' school principal says they are inappropriately placed.

The Candy Man Can

Headline: Cops: Teen Billed School for $37,000 Worth of Candy
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.2.9
Caption: The Candy Man Can

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio — Police say an Ohio teenager tried to pull off a sweet deal by ordering more than $37,000 of candy online and charging the bill to his former high school.

Police say the 18-year-old used a Middletown High School purchasing number to place orders for thousands of lollipops and candy bars from Michigan-based The Goodies Factory. It wasn't clear how he accessed the number.

Headline: Secret Thoughts No Longer Secret
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.2.9
Caption: I've Got a Secret--We Know

Canadian researchers say they can glean simple preferences from a person's brain by shining near-infrared light into the noggin.

The study, reported in the Journal of Neural Engineering, demonstrated the ability to decode a person's preference for one of two drinks with 80 percent accuracy by measuring the intensity of near-infrared light absorbed in brain tissue, the scientists said in a statement today.

"This is the first system that decodes preference naturally from spontaneous thoughts," says Sheena Luu, a University of Toronto doctoral student in biomedical engineering who led the work under the supervision of Tom Chau, a specialist in pediatric rehab engineering at the university's Bloorview Kids Rehab center.

Headline: Va. Man Charged With Killing Hawk To Help Squirrel
Clip from: cbsnews.com
Date of clip: 10.2.9
Caption: Squirrel Saver

For a Virginia doctor, squirrels are a man's best friend, too. Thomas Shepler, a hand surgeon, shot a hawk to death in his backyard when he said the bird was eyeing a young squirrel that he and his wife had helped raise.

Shepler, 65, said the hawk had previously killed an adult squirrel near his suburban Washington home in Vienna. When the doctor tried to chase away the bird over the weekend by yelling and throwing a crowbar at it, the hawk didn't leave the area.

So Shepler got a shotgun and killed it.

A police officer heard the shot Saturday and Shepler was arrested. He was charged with discharging a firearm in public and cruelty to animals.

Headline: Naked chief splits after YouTube stunt
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 10.2.9
Caption: Weird-- figure this one out by yourself

THE head of the advertising firm behind the controversial Witchery Man advertising campaign featuring a fake YouTube video has parted ways with the company.
Naked Communications' issued a press release this afternoon saying chief executive Mat Baxter would leave the company today to "pursue other new business opportunities'', The Australian reports.

Mr Baxter's departure comes days after controversial magazine ads placed by Naked appeared, naming and thanking the media who reported on the search for love of "Heidi Clarke'' - the fake identity of the model who appeared in the video looking for the owner of a men's jacket.

Mr Baxter said Naked was moving in a new direction and the decision for him to leave was mutual. He said it was not connected with a backlash over the Witchery Man campaign.

School Must Toilet Train Students

Headline: New pupils not toilet trained
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.1.9
Caption: School Must Toilet Train Students

AN ALARMING number of first-time students at Queensland schools are not rpeoperly toilet trained, it has been revealed.

Queensland Association of State School Principals Norm Hart has urged parents and families to take responsbility for their children.

"We have increasing numbers of children in schools that aren't toilet-trained," Mr Hart said.

"Ten years ago, you never heard of kids going to school not toilet-trained."

His call for parents to be held accountable comes as the state's education system faces an unprecedented shake-up, according to a leading educator.

Queensland Catholic Education Commission executive director Mike Byrne said the system faced a host of major challenges, including:..

Headline: Tourists strip off for SA 'dream job'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.1.9
Caption: Nude Begets Dream Job

SOUTH Australia Tourism has launched a viral marketing campaign, giving tourists the chance to star in their own commercials to promote the state. Dubbed Stars of South Australia, the South Australia Tourism Commission promotion – in conjunction with STA Travel – involves UK residents filming a one minute video about travelling to SA.

The prize is a trip to South Australia which is filmed by a professional crew and beamed back to the UK via an online blog.

SATC UK-based marketing manager Neil Saunders said the promotion was devised to attract the sector which was still inclined to travel despite the economic downturn.

"It primarily was aimed at the backpackers and adventure market; in the current economic climate, they are a strong market because people will be looking to take a gap year or get away from it," Mr Saunders said.

Headline: 'Villages' Retirement Home Is Widower's Sex Paradise
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.1.9
Caption: Paradise By The False Teeth

It's 11 p.m. at the Bourbon Street Bar, and Roselyn's gyrating her hips to the blues band, Sue's sipping a cocktail and flirting with her new boyfriend, and Alan is scanning the crowd for cute girls.
"See those two?" a buxom blonde asks, pointing to an elegant couple at the bar. "They were caught having sex in their golf cart a few weeks ago. It happens a lot!"
Welcome to ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.
It's a Thursday night at one of a half-dozen hot spots at the 20,000-acre Central Florida complex called The Villages, the largest gated retirement community in America — and one of the most popular destinations for New Yorkers in their golden years — where the female-to-male ratio runs 10 to 1.

It's a widower's paradise, and the word on the street is that there's a big black market for Viagra....

Headline: A Big Fat Ah-Choo! Obesity Bug 'You Can Catch'
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.1.9
Caption: Fat Catch

Obesity can be "caught" as easily as a common cold from other people's coughs, sneezes and dirty hands, scientists said Monday.
The condition has been linked to a highly-infectious virus which causes sniffles and sore throats.
Nikhil Dhurandhar, an associate professor at The Pennington Biomedical Research Center, in Baton Rouge, La., said the virus, known as AD-36, infects the lungs then whisks around the body, forcing fat cells to multiply and also causing sore throats.
"When this virus goes to fat tissue it replicates, making more copies of itself and in the process increases the number of new fat cells, which may explain why the fat tissue expands and why people get fat when they are infected with this virus," Dhurandhar said.
In one test, a third of obese people had the rare and highly contagious virus compared to just 11 percent of thinner people. Weight gain can last three months until the body has built up resistance to the bug.

THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT GO TOGETHER: TEACHERS, SCHOOL, SEX, AIR MATTRESS

Headline: Ga. School Staff Accused of Inflatable Mattress Sex
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.12.8
Caption: THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT GO TOGETHER: TEACHERS, SCHOOL, SEX, AIR MATTRESS

Several Richmond County educators are being reprimanded after officials uncovered a sex scandal involving teachers, coaches and the principal of an Augusta middle school.
Superintendent Dana Bedden says seven Spirit Creek Middle School faculty members have been implicated in a series of incidents that included daytime sexual encounters on an inflatable mattress in the school's public safety office.
No students were involved in any of the encounters, which came to light after a former teacher sent an e-mail about the allegations to school system leaders.

Headline: Punish parents for smacking - academic
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.12.8
Caption: This old man, he played two. He played patty wack on me shoe...

PARENTS should be banned from smacking their kids - and be prosecuted if the child is harmed, a leading academic said.

Smacking of children by parents is currently legal under the common law, as long as reasonable force is used and the sole intention is to correct behaviour.

But Sydney University Associate Professor Judy Cashmore wants the defence struck out, The Daily Telegraph reports.

Parents would thus be liable to prosecution for smacking but she said it was unlikely any would be charged unless real harm was done.

Smacking involving force or leaving lasting physical effects is already an abuse under child protection laws.

Professor Cashmore will tell an Australian Institute of Family Studies seminar in Melbourne today that Australia should follow the lead of New Zealand and remove the common law defence.

Headline: Facebook 'bully' sues school principal
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: You figure this story out

A FORMER high school student disciplined for "cyberbullying" one of her teachers on Facebook has filed a lawsuit against the principal of the school for allegedly violating her freedom of speech.

Katherine Evans, 18, who recently graduated from Pembroke Pines Charter High School north of Miami, Florida is suing principal Peter Bayer for suspending her after she posted negative comments about her English teacher, the Miami Herald reported.

Ms Evans created the Facebook group "Ms Sarah Phelps is the worst teacher I've ever met!" in November 2007 featuring a picture of the teacher, and asked her friends to join, the newspaper said.

The three students who joined only did so to praise Ms Phelps and criticise Ms Evans, after which she took down the page from the popular social networking site, it said.

But school authorities got word of the group and suspended Ms Evans ...

Headline: Ralph's 100,000 missing boobs found
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Boob Job

MORE than 100,000 pairs of missing inflatable breasts intended for an Australian men's magazine promotion have turned up in Melbourne. The shipment of plastic boobs from China had been missing for more than a week after Chinese officials lost the paperwork and put them on the wrong boat, a Ralph magazine spokeswoman said.

Headline: First-borns not likely to be first bedded
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Born To Be Wild

FIRST-born girls are not as quick to cast off their virginity as their younger sister, new research shows.

An Australasian Society for Human Biology conference yesterday heard the order in which children are born into a family affects their reproductive behaviour later in life.

Previous research has shown firstborn children tend to be more confident and family oriented while the middle-born children have the toughest time.

Now it seems there are differences when it comes to reproductive strategies, including the age at first sexual intercourse, first pregnancy and first birth.

Middle-born children stand out in the survey results, with females 2.6 times more likely to fall pregnant at any given age...

Headline: Woman 'Pregnant' With Monkey Convicted of Smuggling
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Monkey Business

A Washington state woman and her mother have been convicted in federal court on charges of sneaking a rhesus monkey into the United States from Thailand.

Gypsy Lawson, 29, hid the sedated young rhesus macaque under her blouse, pretending to be pregnant when she successfully passed through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles after a trip to Bangkok.

Her mother, Fran Ogren, 55, of Northport, Wash., also went on the trip in November 2007.

Headline: Police 'sodomised man with baton'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Weird Side of the Law

A NEW York City police officer has been accused of sodomising a man with a police baton on a subway platform while two others helped cover up the crime.

Detective Richard Kern, 25, was charged with aggravated sexual assault, which is punishable by up to 25 years in prison, and other charges.

Andrew Morales and Alex Cruz, both 26, are charged with participating in the attempted cover up, which included writing a summons for the victim following the assault. If convicted, each faces up to four years in prison.

"I'm pleased but it still hasn't changed what happened to me," the victim, Michael Mineo, 24, told reporters after the arraignment. "I still have abdominal pain, rectal pain."

His lawyer, Kevin Mosley said, "It was, for all intents and purposes, rape."

Headline: Honest Woman Finds $97K In Restroom, Returns It
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: A nice story

Billie Watts said she was tempted but couldn't bring herself to keep $97,000 she said she found in a Cracker Barrel restroom. The 75-year-old Murfreesboro woman told The Daily News Journal that she discovered the money inside a tapestry bag hanging from a hook on a stall door last Thursday.

But five days later, the money and its anonymous owner remain something of a mystery in the community, where police said they have no report of the find.

While digging through the bag to figure out its owner, Watts said she found a bundle of neatly stacked $1,000 bills.

You figure this story out

Headline: Facebook 'bully' sues school principal
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: You figure this story out

A FORMER high school student disciplined for "cyberbullying" one of her teachers on Facebook has filed a lawsuit against the principal of the school for allegedly violating her freedom of speech.

Katherine Evans, 18, who recently graduated from Pembroke Pines Charter High School north of Miami, Florida is suing principal Peter Bayer for suspending her after she posted negative comments about her English teacher, the Miami Herald reported.

Ms Evans created the Facebook group "Ms Sarah Phelps is the worst teacher I've ever met!" in November 2007 featuring a picture of the teacher, and asked her friends to join, the newspaper said.

The three students who joined only did so to praise Ms Phelps and criticise Ms Evans, after which she took down the page from the popular social networking site, it said.

But school authorities got word of the group and suspended Ms Evans ...

Headline: Ralph's 100,000 missing boobs found
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Boob Job

MORE than 100,000 pairs of missing inflatable breasts intended for an Australian men's magazine promotion have turned up in Melbourne. The shipment of plastic boobs from China had been missing for more than a week after Chinese officials lost the paperwork and put them on the wrong boat, a Ralph magazine spokeswoman said.

Headline: First-borns not likely to be first bedded
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Born To Be Wild

FIRST-born girls are not as quick to cast off their virginity as their younger sister, new research shows.

An Australasian Society for Human Biology conference yesterday heard the order in which children are born into a family affects their reproductive behaviour later in life.

Previous research has shown firstborn children tend to be more confident and family oriented while the middle-born children have the toughest time.

Now it seems there are differences when it comes to reproductive strategies, including the age at first sexual intercourse, first pregnancy and first birth.

Middle-born children stand out in the survey results, with females 2.6 times more likely to fall pregnant at any given age...

Headline: Woman 'Pregnant' With Monkey Convicted of Smuggling
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Monkey Business

A Washington state woman and her mother have been convicted in federal court on charges of sneaking a rhesus monkey into the United States from Thailand.

Gypsy Lawson, 29, hid the sedated young rhesus macaque under her blouse, pretending to be pregnant when she successfully passed through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles after a trip to Bangkok.

Her mother, Fran Ogren, 55, of Northport, Wash., also went on the trip in November 2007.

Headline: Police 'sodomised man with baton'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: Weird Side of the Law

A NEW York City police officer has been accused of sodomising a man with a police baton on a subway platform while two others helped cover up the crime.

Detective Richard Kern, 25, was charged with aggravated sexual assault, which is punishable by up to 25 years in prison, and other charges.

Andrew Morales and Alex Cruz, both 26, are charged with participating in the attempted cover up, which included writing a summons for the victim following the assault. If convicted, each faces up to four years in prison.

"I'm pleased but it still hasn't changed what happened to me," the victim, Michael Mineo, 24, told reporters after the arraignment. "I still have abdominal pain, rectal pain."

His lawyer, Kevin Mosley said, "It was, for all intents and purposes, rape."

Headline: Honest Woman Finds $97K In Restroom, Returns It
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 10.12.8
Caption: A nice story

Billie Watts said she was tempted but couldn't bring herself to keep $97,000 she said she found in a Cracker Barrel restroom. The 75-year-old Murfreesboro woman told The Daily News Journal that she discovered the money inside a tapestry bag hanging from a hook on a stall door last Thursday.

But five days later, the money and its anonymous owner remain something of a mystery in the community, where police said they have no report of the find.

While digging through the bag to figure out its owner, Watts said she found a bundle of neatly stacked $1,000 bills.

We Know That Stiff

Headline: Field Trips Nixed After Students See Classmate Autopsy
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: We Know That Stiff

PONTIAC, Mich. — A medical examiner's office in Michigan has canceled public school tours after a high school group watched the autopsy of a 14-year-old girl from their district.

The Detroit News reports Monday that Oakland County officials decided to stop the tours in Pontiac after they were contacted by the girl's parents, who were very upset about the March tour.

Mike Zehnder, the county's director of public services, says it was "a poor decision" to let the tour go on.

Headline: Rhino escapes zoo pen in search for love
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Horny

A RANDY rhinoceros escaped its enclosure today and went looking for love - but has been sedated near a perimeter fence.
The escapee - an 18-year-old male white rhino named Satara - was reported to have escaped Monarto Zoo, east of Adelaide, around just after 1pm (CST) today.

Relieved zoo keepers then reported the amorous animal lacked an adequate sense of direction and was not able to gain access to the female object of his desire, AdelaideNow reports

Headline: Man stole police car to sell its tyres
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Dumb Ass

A MAN who stole an empty police car crashed it into a garbage dumpster at the end of a two-hour joy ride
"When I found the car and I saw it had the key in the ignition, well, I just got in," foiled car thief Alejandro Juarez said in Aguascalientes, Mexico.

"I was thinking about taking off the tyres so I could sell them," he said.

"But then I was thinking first I would take it for a spin - and then bam, I got a bit distracted and crashed," Mr Juarez said.

Headline: 'Tis the season to dump grannies - doctors
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 8.12.8
Caption: Bye, Bye Grannies

ELDERLY Victorians are being dumped in hospital emergency departments as their relatives go on holidays.

Frontline hospital staff have lifted the lid on the shocking practice of "granny dumping", saying it is on the increase and peaks over the Christmas period.

There are calls for an urgent inquiry as worried emergency department workers warn the practice is robbing genuine patients of vital beds.

Last Monday, a woman in her 70s was delivered by ambulance to the Northern Hospital's emergency department, where her relatives requested she stay for three weeks.

Headline: By order of the Grinches of Granite City...Christmas is cancelled
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 7.12.8
Caption: A Council of Grinches

Published Date: 07 December 2008
By Eddie Barnes
DING DONG Miserably On High. Welcome to Christmas Aberdeen-style.
Local politicians in the Granite City have slashed £100,000 from their annual Christmas budget this year, claiming they need to save money rather than lay on extravagant celebrations to mark the festive period. A new nativity scene has been axed, free panto tickets for the poor have been stopped and the council children's party has been suspended amid claims that in previous years the public didn't get involved. But critics last night accused the councillors responsible for the decision of having "cancelled Christmas". They also contrasted the decision to cut £100,000 from Christmas spending with council plans to lavish £80m on a new headquarters.

Headline: Crimials watching CSI for tips
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 7.12.8
Caption: CSI Crime 101

AUSTRALIA's top forensic investigator believes criminals are watching CSI-style television shows to learn how to outsmart detectives.
Dr James Robertson, head of Forensic and Technical Services with the Australian Federal Police, said the programs were helping criminals become more "forensically aware" of crime and better informed about covering their tracks.

He made the concession last week as he prepared to give a keynote address on DNA testing in homicide investigations.

Dr Robertson also said DNA analysts around the country "need to do their job better" and avoid collecting DNA samples in an "unintelligent" way.

The emergence of popular crime dramas, like CSI: Miami and City Homicide, which feature the latest techniques and analysis, have "let the rabbit out of the hat" for criminals, he said, giving savvier crooks a tactical advantage over police investigators.

TOP STORY: STUPID TEACHER

HEADLINE: Black Girls' Hands, Feet Bound for Slavery Lesson
Clip from: FOXNewsews.com
Date of clip: 5.12.8
Caption: This teacher should not be teaching.

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — A white social studies teacher attempted to enliven a seventh-grade discussion of slavery by binding the hands and feet of two black girls, prompting outrage from one girl's mother and the local chapter of the NAACP.

After the mother complained to Haverstraw Middle School, the superintendent said he was having "conversations with our staff on how to deliver effective lessons."

"If a student was upset, then it was a bad idea," said Superintendent Brian Monahan of the North Rockland School District in New York City's northern suburbs.

The teacher apologized to the mother who complained and her 13-year-old daughter during a meeting Thursday that also included a representative of the local NAACP. But the mother, Christine Shand of Haverstraw, said Friday she thinks the teacher should be removed from the class.

Headline: 'I regret not murdering her years ago'
Clip from: FOXNewsews.com
Date of clip: 5.12.8
Caption: What is this world coming to?

A MAN who admitted stabbing his mother to death says he is not in the least remorseful or repentant but regrets not doing it 20 years ago.

And Adam Patrick Owens, 35, scolded the prosecution during sentencing today for trying to mitigate what he did, saying it sent a "terrible message to the public".

Headline: Diamond Theft in Drag
Clip from: FOXNewsews.com
Date of clip: 5.12.8
Caption: Bad Girls Or Bad Girls?

Cross-dressing robbers make off with $100 million in loot from a Harry Winston store in Paris

Headline: Man Allegedly Attacks Speed Camera With Pickax
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 5.12.8
Caption: maybe he thought he could beat the speeding fine.

A 26-year-old man faces criminal charges after being accused of using a pickax to attack a speed enforcement camera recently installed along a Phoenix-area freeway.

The state Department of Public Safety said Travis Munroe Townsend was arrested and booked into jail Thursday on a charge of felony damage and misdemeanor counts of interference with a traffic control device and criminal trespass.

The DPS said a motorcycle officer parked under an overpass heard loud banging noises and saw a man swinging a pickax at a stationary camera late Wednesday night.

Headline: Man Allegedly Assaults Girlfriend With Burger
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Way to go chicken!

A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff's Office arrest report said a 22-year-old man and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.

The report said the man would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed the cheeseburger into her face.

Headline: 'Evil' Mom Convicted of Locking Up Daughter for Reward
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Asshole mother locks up daughter for money.

The mother of young British girl has been convicted, along with her boyfriend’s uncle, of kidnapping her own nine-year-old daughter in an unlikely plot to keep thousands of pounds in reward money.

Karen Matthews hatched the plan with Michael Donovan, who took young Shannon Matthews to his apartment and imprisoned her for 24 days, while her mother made emotional appeals for her return.

The jury at Leeds Crown Court today found the pair guilty of kidnapping, false imprisonment and perverting the course of justice. Justice McCombe warned the defendants that they faced a “substantial custodial sentence” before they were led away in custody.

Headline: Brains a poor second to kids who laugh
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Ha, Ha, Ha.

IT's no joke: parents would rather their children grow up to be comedians than brain surgeons. A survey of more than 300 mums and dads found more than 39 per cent wanted their child to have a good sense of humour - nearly 21 per cent wanted them to be extremely intelligent. Good looks came third, with nearly 16 per cent of people wanting their kids to be attractive.

Headline: Pizzeria Mistakenly Butchers Deer Near Customer
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 4.12.8
Caption: Not deer dear.

An Allentown pizzeria said venison is not on the menu despite the impression a customer may have gotten when she saw one of the cooks butchering a deer in the shop's kitchen. John Okumus, the manager of Stromboli Pizza, called Tuesday's incident a huge misunderstanding.

Okumus said he shot a doe and planned to give it to his friend. He wrapped the animal in plastic and dropped it off in a back area of the kitchen, hoping the friend would pick it up. Okumus then went home.

He said a cook mistakenly started butchering the deer, and a customer saw what was happening.