Nothing Like a Aligator Firebug

Headline: Alligator Accused of Starting Fire at Abandoned School
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.3.9
Caption: Nothing Like a Aligator Firebug

NEW CASTLE, Pa. — A four-foot alligator rescued in an abandoned school on fire in western Pennsylvania may have also started the blaze.

North Beaver Township officials are not identifying the owner of the former elementary school that burned Thursday afternoon near New Castle, about 40 miles northwest of Pittsburgh.

But they say the man was living with a menagerie of animals in the building, including the alligator, about 70 rabbits and unspecified "aquatic animals." The Pennsylvania Game Commission is involved in caring for the animal.

Fire Chief Paul Henry says the building's owner believes the alligator started the fire by knocking over a portable heater.

Headline: Celebrity Chef's Restaurant Sickens 400, Stays Closed
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 6.3.9
Caption: So Much for the Fat Duck

BRAY, England — It's a culinary mystery worthy of Agatha Christie.
Britain's Health Protection Agency said Friday about 400 people reported falling ill after eating at The Fat Duck, a world-renowned British establishment reputed for dishes such as snail porridge and bacon-and-egg ice cream. Health officials are baffled by the outbreak of diarrhea and vomiting while the celebrity chef, Heston Blumenthal, has said his restaurant will remain closed until the mystery is solved.

"It's so weird — we haven't found anything. But I can't take the risk of keeping open until we have exhausted every single avenue," Blumenthal told The Times of London last week, shortly after the first group of people reported falling ill.

Headline: Conn. Man Chewing On Charges Of Stealing Gum
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 6.3.9
Caption: I'm forever chewing bubble gum

Police in Connecticut have arrested a man with a several-pack-a-day habit _ of Orbit gum.

Twenty-one-year-old Kenneth McManus of Stratford has been charged with stealing hundreds of packs of the chewing gum.

Fairfield police say McManus turned himself in Thursday. He is accused of stealing 175 packs of gum worth more than $500 from a Shaw's supermarket in Fairfield in January.

Police say he also faces larceny charges of stealing $200 worth of gum from the Shaw's in Stratford and $75 worth of gum from a CVS store in Bridgeport.

Very Strange Story

Headline: Couple found dead days after blaze
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 17.1.9
Caption: Very Strange

A FORMER Brisbane dog racing identity and his wife have died in a house fire south of Brisbane.

Terry Vogler, believed to be in his 60s, and Kathy Vogler, believed to be in her 50s, died some time late last week on their Park Ridge property in Logan City, police said.

Mr Vogler was a public relations officer and secretary of the Greyhound Breeders, Owners and Trainers Association until the early 1990s, The Sunday Mail reports.

Police and firefighters were alerted by the Voglers' son, who went to the property on Friday after he could not contact his father for Mr Vogler's birthday.

The bodies are yet to be formally identified but relatives yesterday told The Sunday Mail they were saddened by the news of the couple's death.

Neighbours said they had no idea there was a fire at the low-set house where the couple had lived for 16 years..

Headline: Shoplifter Gets Run Over Twice By Her Getaway Car
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Clumsy Thief

Authorities are looking for a shoplifter who was run over twice by her getaway car after stealing $1,200 worth of designer purses from a Cape Coral store. A T.J. Maxx security guard told police she saw a woman stuff six designer Dooney & Bourke purses into her pants Tuesday morning and walk out of the store. The guard said she was confronting the woman when a car pulled up.

A report said the shoplifter tried to get into the vehicle but fell out and was run over by the car. She then got up and jumped onto the hood of the car. As the car was driving away, the report said the woman fell off and was run over again. On her third attempt, she finally made it into the vehicle.

Headline: Teacher Fired for Duct Taping Kid's Mouth Shut
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Dumb Ass Teacher

LAFAYETTE, Ind. — A school board in Indiana has fired a middle school teacher who placed duct tape over a special-needs student's mouth to keep him from talking in class.

The board of Tippecanoe School Corp. voted Wednesday to cancel Pamela Dahnke's contract. She was an eighth-grade health and nutrition teacher at Battle Ground Middle School in West Lafayette.

Superintendent Scott Hanback says the September taping incident "cannot be tolerated." ...

Headline: Speeding pregnant woman was 'busting'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption:When You're Pregnant You Got To Go When You Got To Go

A PREGNANT woman caught driving 147km/h on the F3 had her licence suspension reduced yesterday because she was desperate to go to the toilet at the time of the offence.

Bettina Catherine May, from Chipping Norton, was three months pregnant when she was clocked driving 37km/h over the speed limit on October 12.

And when police pulled her over as she raced north out of Sydney towards Ourimbah she was not wearing a seatbelt...

Headline: Lithuanian Firm Hires Witch To Hunt Debt Dodgers
Clip from: CBS.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Witch Hunt

In these difficult times for creditors, a Lithuanian debt collector is offering an unconventional service to retrieve arrears: witchcraft.

The Vilnius-based firm has hired Vilija Lobaciuviene, the Baltic nation's most famous self-styled witch, to hunt down companies and individuals who are failing to pay their debts amid the credit crunch.

"There are certain people, who are using this crisis situation and refuse to pay back banks or other companies," said Amantas Celkonas, director of the Skolu Isieskojimo Biuras, or debt collecting bureau.

"Our new employee will help them to understand the situation, reconsider what is right and wrong and act accordingly," he said. "We will also help those who are in real trouble, suffering from psychological impact of bankruptcy and depression."

A Goat of a Story

Headline: Goat Blamed for Iowa House Fire
Clip from: FOXnews.com
Date of clip: 14.1.9
Caption: Goats are Arsonists

NORWALK, Iowa — A group of goats may have started a fire that destroyed a home in central Iowa, firefighters said.

The fire broke out early Tuesday near Norwalk. Three people in the house escaped unharmed.
John Hadley said his cat woke up him up, and he saw smoke coming from a ceiling. Hadley then woke up his ailing mother and her companion and got them out of the house.
The fire may have been started by some goats kept in a shed attached to the rear of the house, Assistant Northern Warren County Fire Chief Kevin Dingman said.
He said a space heater was kept in the shed to keep the goats warm, and the goats may have knocked it over, starting the fire.

Headline Lots ... and Lots of Coffee Linked to Hallucinations
Clip from: FOXnews.com
Date of clip: 14.1.9
Caption: Great Coffee Trip Man

Research suggests people who drink more than seven cups of instant coffee a day have an increased tendency to hallucinate.

High caffeine users may even think they sense non-existent people, according to researchers from the University of Durham.

They studied 200 students who were asked about their typical intake of caffeine products.

Those who had a high caffeine intake were three times more likely to have the heard voice of someone non-existent than "low" users who consumed less than one cup of instant coffee or its equivalent.

Seeing things that were not there, hearing voices and sensing the presence of dead people were among the experiences reported. Researchers also found that people drinking as few as three cups of brewed coffee each day may experience mild hallucinations, such as hearing voices that aren't there.

Headline: Mum posed as daughter to be cheerleader
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 14.1.9
Caption: Mommy Dearest Cheerleader

A 34-year-old mother was so desperate to be part of a US high school's cheerleading squad that she posed as her 15-year-old daughter.

Wendy Brown was committed today to a mental health facility for three years by a court in the midwest US state of Wisconsin after being found not guilty of identity theft because of mental impairment, news agency AP reports.

According to court documents Brown "stated she that wanted to get her high school degree and be a cheerleader because she had no childhood and was trying to regain a part of her life she missed."

Brown enrolled at Ashwaubenon High School using her daughter's ID and attended cheerleading practices before school started, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the cheerleading coach's house.

Headline: Court: Teachers Can Have Sex With 18-Year-Old Pupils
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 13.1.9
Caption: Teachers Can F*** Students Until They Drop - only for those 18 and older

Washington state law does not bar teachers from having sex with 18-year-old students.

That's the decision of a three-judge panel of the Washington Court of Appeals, which on Tuesday ordered the dismissal of a case brought against Hoquiam High School's former choir teacher.

The teacher, Matthew Hirschfelder, was charged with first-degree sexual misconduct with a minor. He challenged a judge's refusal to dismiss his case. The appeals court unanimously agreed that the state law is vague, and that the Legislature only intended to forbid sexual contact between school employees and students who are 16 or 17.

Headline: Firefighters Burn Own Firehouse Down for 2nd Time
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 13.1.9
Caption: Giong For Three Times?

German firefighters lost all their engines for a second time after their station burned to the ground in a fire they are believed to have set themselves, the Austrian Times reported.

The weekend blaze in Syke, northern Germany, was reportedly set by the firefighters themselves in a training exercise accident. However, faulty wiring could have been to blame.

It took 250 firefighters from the surrounding areas to bring the flames under control, the Austrian Times reported. All six fire engines were lost in the inferno.

This was not the first time the bumbling fire brigade lost its headquarters...

Headline: Student 'auctioning virginity for millions'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 13.1.9
Caption: Girl auctions virginity

MORE than 10,000 men have reportedly pledged more than $5 million online to claim the virginity of a 22-year-old San Diego student.

Natalie Dylan is being chased by besotted men across the world keen to spend a massive sum for one night of passion.

The chastity sale was first reported in September by US radio shock jock Howard Stern, but since then interest in her has rocketed with record hits to her MySpace page.

''I am shocked by how far this has gone,'' the 22-year-old told The Daily Mail.

''It's shocking that men will pay so much for someone's virginity, which isn't even prized so highly anymore."

Headline: Police: Minn. Woman Tried to Set Boyfriend on Fire
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 13.1.9
Caption: Woman Tries to BBQ Boyfriend

ST. CLOUD, Minn. — A St. Cloud woman is in jail after police say she tried to set her boyfriend on fire using a lighter and air freshener.

Investigators say the 49-year-old woman is accused of pouring fingernail polish remover on the victim and the blanket covering him, then trying to light him on fire.

The victim was able to take the air freshener from the woman. Police say she then hit him on the back of the head and bit him several times. As the man tried to call police, the woman allegedly ripped the phone cord out of the wall.

The woman is in the Stearns County Jail on suspicion of domestic assault and interfering with a 911 call.

Burning Balls - Funny but Tragic

Headline: Man dies after genitals allegedly set alight
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.12.8
Caption: Burning Balls

A MAN whose wife allegedly set fire to his genitals while he slept has died.
Satish Narayan, 47, an engineer, lost his battle to survive at the Royal Adelaide Hospital yesterday, 20 days after sustaining burns to most of his body.

Headline: Eat your toast - or lose your virginity
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.12.8
Caption: Virgin Toast

PEOPLE who skip breakfast tend to lose their virginity earlier, according to researchers in Japan.
In a study of 3000 people, those who did not regularly eat breakfast in their early teens said they lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5, versus an overall average age of 19 for all Japanese.
Those who had a morning meal when they were younger had their first sexual experience at 19.4 years.
The study, backed by Japan's health ministry, was aimed at finding ways to curb unwanted pregnancies. It concluded that a stable home life discouraged early sex.

Headline: Kitchen dentist used wine to numb pain
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: OUCH!!

MAN operated an illegal dental surgery in the kitchen of his New York home and gave patients wine to help them cope with the pain.
Police arrested Carlos Flores after raiding his home at Peekskill, in northern New York.
Investigators say he had all the tools and treated patients in the kitchen of his home.
They said he had a chair next to a radiator and antiquated instruments caked in blood.
Police say there were two birds loose in the house, and on the kitchen table was a jug of wine Flores allegedly gave patients to help deal with the pain.
They said a man who went there for a toothache ended up in hospital after Flores broke the tooth while trying to pull it out.

Headline: Woman Awarded $198,000 for 'Horse Teeth'
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: Mr. Ed

A Bridgeport jury has awarded more than $198,000 to a woman who claims her dentist promised her a celebrity smile, but gave her what her attorney called "horse teeth."
Attorney Richard Meehan Jr. says his client, Marvalyn Foster sued Stamford dentist Darren Martinez because he promised her a "big, beautiful Hollywood celebrity smile." Foster wanted Martinez to give her a permanent bridge to replace a false tooth.
Meehan says that Foster woke up from the procedure to discover that Martinez extracted three teeth and made a large bridge that resembled horse teeth.

Headline: Give 'em Viagra
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: Up, Up, and Away

In an effort to win over fickle warlords and chieftains in Afghanistan and get information from them, CIA officials are handing out Viagra pills in exchange for their cooperation, the Washington Post reports.
"Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people - whether it's building a school or handing out Viagra," an agency operative, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Post.

Headline: Christmas charity workers attacked
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: Merry Christmas??

A CHARITY worker and his wife were attacked by a gang of youths as they investigated a disturbance outside their Melbourne home on Christmas Eve.
The couple, who gave their names only as Paul and Ilse, said they heard a loud bang outside their home in Noble Park, in the city's southeast, around 11.30pm on Wednesday.
Paul said he went outside to see four men who had kicked over a bin and after confronting them he was attacked in front of his wife.
The attackers kicked and punched the 56-year-old man about the face and head before one of the attackers turned on his wife, 68.
The gang laughed and mocked the couple throughout the attack...

Flash Fire

Headline: Self-igniting teatowels in $1m fire
Clip from: news.com
Date of clip: 29.11.8
Caption: Self-drying towels

SPONTANEOUSLY combusting teatowels have caused a $1 million factory fire in Adelaide's western suburbs.
AdelaideNow reports the Metropolitan Fire Service was called to the fire at the International Linen Service in Stephens Ave at Torrensville about 12.30am.
MFS spokesman Greg Staple said 40 fire fighters took about 30 minutes to bring the fire under control.

Headline: Full-size Cardboard Figure Causes NJ Bank Standoff
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 29.11.8
Caption: Would the police not have notice that the figure had not moved in the time it took to seal off the area?

A standoff at a New Jersey bank is over after police learned a "person" seen inside was actually a full-size cardboard figure.

Officers went to the PNC Bank in Montgomery Township on Thursday night after an alarm went off. They saw what they thought was at least one person through the windows of the bank, which had its blinds drawn.

The area was sealed off and three nearby apartment buildings were evacuated as a precaution. Meanwhile, authorities used bullhorns and made telephone calls in a bid to make contact with whoever might be in the bank.

After repeatedly failing to get a response, a SWAT team entered the building and discovered the cardboard figure.

Headline: Drug-smeared boobs knock out robbed men
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: Drug-laced boobs knockout robbery victims

UGANDA'S police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious.
"They apply this chemical to their chest. We have found victims in an unconscious state," Criminal Investigations Directorate (CID) spokesman Fred Enanga said.

"You find the person stripped totally naked and everything is taken from him," he said.

"And the victim doesn't remember anything. He just remembers being in the act of romancing." ...

Headline: Ill. Zoo Creates Ornaments From Reindeer Droppings
Clip from: CBSnews.com.
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: Just Shit

The Christmas ornaments for sale at the Miller Park Zoo's gift shop are partly manufactured by reindeer. Honest!

Staffers make decorations out of droppings from the zoo's two reindeer, Ealu and Rika. The droppings are dried, then clear-coated and either painted or rolled in glitter.

Zoo marketing director Susie Ohley has named the products "magical reindeer gem ornaments," and each comes with a label of authenticity. They cost $5 at the zoo gift shop.

Staffer Katie Buydos, who makes jewelry as a hobby, donated wire and beads, saying, "Susie asked me to bring some creativity to the table."

Headline:High Heels For UK Babies
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.11.8
Caption: High heeled babies

Lulu Sinclair, Sky News Online
The latest accessory for the baby who has everything has just arrived in the UK - a pair of high heels.
A chance for trendy mums to get baby into the party spirit.
The shoes originate in America but have been introduced to British shores by Julia Taylor, herself mother to a young daughter...

Headline: Cranky kid crashes teacher's car
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Bad kid

AN eight-year-old German schoolboy who wanted to complain to his mother about being sent out of class took his teacher's car and crashed it.
The boy, banished from class for disrupting a lesson, pinched the 40-year-old teacher's car key when she was not looking and managed to start up her compact car, accelerating and putting the vehicle into first gear.
"The little fellow drove for about 25m before crashing into a Volvo, also parked in the car park outside the school," a police spokesman in the eastern German city of Zwickau said...

Headline: Judge Allows Civil Suit Over Co-worker's Perfume
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Smelly

A federal judge says a Detroit city employee can proceed with a civil suit claiming she couldn't work because of a co-worker's strong perfume.

The Detroit News says U.S. District Judge Lawrence Zatkoff determined Susan McBride has a potential claim under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The city is asking to have the suit dismissed.

Headline: Girl Injured When Dad Drops Electric Saw on Her
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: A weird but very sad story.

A 9-year-old eastern Missouri girl is seriously injured after she was struck by an electric saw her father was using to trim trees.
Rock Community Fire Protection District officials say the Arnold girl was standing below a ladder Wednesday afternoon when her father accidentally dropped the saw. It struck her in the neck and caused extensive bleeding.

Headline: Bat girl 1, intruder 0
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.11.8
Caption: Take That!

NEVER mess with a young woman who has three brothers who love baseball. Sarah Carr, 20, owes her life to her brothers' sport after she swung a baseball bat, fighting off a screwdriver-wielding attacker who barged into her house.

With just two swings, the fearless young woman managed to disarm the bandit and knock him to the ground.

She then watched as he hobbled off down the street. But had it not been for her sports-mad brothers, Ms Carr said the outcome could have been very different.

HEALINE: Thief Uses Lubricant To Swipe Ring On Woman's Hand
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: KY Jelly would do the job too.

Police said a thief used a Vaseline-like lubricant to swipe an expensive ring off an elderly woman's hand in broad daylight. Authorities said two men bumped 80-year-old Helen Artim's car, then asked her to open her trunk to check for damage.

Police said the suspect ran his hand over hers, covering it with "some type of lubricant," then used a towel to wipe it off. It's then that police believe he slipped the ring off Artim's finger. The piece of jewelry was valued between $20,000 to $30,000.

Headline: Accused Drunk Driver Ends Up Running Over Himself
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: Smart move

... A tip to the state's DrunkBuster hot line Sunday afternoon alerted authorities to a possibly drunken driver.

State Police Officer Grace Romero spotted the man's pickup truck swerving across both lanes of a highway, driving slowly and then fast. He refused to stop.

After narrowly missing other vehicles, police said the suspect drove through a ditch and a barbed-wire fence before stopping. He tried to put the truck into park, but it ended up in reverse.

Police said the man fell from his open door and both of his legs were run over by the front driver's side tire.

Headline: Superg-Looed: Man Stuck To Toilet
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 26.11.8
Caption: Stuck to the loo my darling.

A 35-year-old man has been taken to hospital stuck to a public toilet after a prankster covered the seat with glue.

Say What!

Headline: Hardline nudies blamed for 'orgy fires'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 23.11.8
Caption: Fire and nude adds up to Ouch!

ONE of Europe's most famous nudist colonies has become the subject of an unusual investigation by French detectives after the destruction of three nightclubs in fires blamed on naturist "hardliners".
The normally peaceful Cap d'Agde, a mecca for nudists in the south of France, has been plunged into anxiety. Investigators suspect "fundamentalist" naturists of harbouring a grudge against the echangistes, or swingers, who are drawn to the town by the promise of sex.

Headline: Mom Allegedly Burns 'Wimp' Into Daughter's Neck

Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 22.11.8
Caption: Disgusting!

A West Virginia mother faces charges after being accused of burning the word "wimp" into her 6-year-old daughter's neck.
Tammy Smith is charged with five counts of child abuse and of malicious assault, all felonies.
Moundsville Police Chief Jim Kudlak said Saturday that the child told police that her mother used a cigarette to burn her. Smith's daughter told authorities that her mother burned her because she was angered that the girl tripped and fell.

Headline: Venerable Texas Cowboy Boot Maker Hit By $3M Theft

Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 22.11.8
Caption: Booty On The Monty

A truck-driving thief made off with more than $3 million worth of merchandise from a venerable maker of cowboy boots and other footwear, authorities said.

The thefts occurred Labor Day weekend and Nov. 9 at a Justin Boots distribution center, said Fort Worth police Lt. Paul Henderson.

Headline: Resort Sues Competitors for Swiping Beach Sand

Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 21.11.8
Caption: Do they have to count the grains?

A developer is suing two Spanish-owned hotel groups for allegedly stealing nearly 100 truckloads of sand from a beachfront property in Jamaica.

Felicitas Limited has filed an $8 million lawsuit against RIU Hotels & Resorts and the Fiesta Hotel Group. Attorney Michael Hylton says forensic tests suggest sand at two Spanish-owned hotels is similar to that stolen in July. He says the theft paralyzed construction of a $105 million resort.