Fleeced right down to the budgie

Headline: Husband 'fleeced wife using spy lies'
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 14.4.9
Caption: Fleeced right down to the budgie

A MAN allegedly fleeced his new wife of her life savings before telling her she faced being killed by ASIO.

Single mother Karen Roberts believed she had met the man of her dreams when she bumped into Wayne David Charters at the Ulysses Motorcycle Club at Mornington, south of Melbourne, in February 2003.

They shared an interest in dolphins, motorcycle riding, art and spirituality.

The Melbourne Magistrates Court was told today that Ms Roberts believed her new partner lived an exciting double life as an ASIO agent whose cover was to work as a carpet layer in suburban Melbourne.

Within a few months the couple was married and Mr Charters allegedly convinced Ms Roberts to sell everything she owned so they could relocate overseas.

Ms Roberts obliged and in statements tendered to the court she described selling her house, which she believes was valued at $280,000, her car and even a pet budgie.

Headline: Girl Born 22 Years After Father's Sperm Frozen
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 14.4.9
Caption: How old is the girl in 'sperm years'?

A former leukemia patient who had his sperm frozen as a teenager has fathered a baby after doctors successfully thawed his sample a record 22 years later.

Chris Biblis was 16 when doctors told him that he needed radiotherapy that would leave him sterile and recommended before going ahead with the life-saving treatment that they put a sample of his sperm into cryogenic storage for future use.

Now aged 38, he is celebrating the birth of a healthy baby daughter, Stella, who was conceived after scientists injected a defrosted sperm into an egg from his wife, Melodie, and implanted it in her uterus.

The 22-year lapse between storage in April 1986 and conception in June 2008 is a world record, according to specialists at the U.S. fertility clinic who carried out the procedure.

Headline: Passenger lands plane after pilot dies
Origin of Clip: CNN.com 13.4.9
Caption: You Can Fly

It's a nightmarish scenario straight out of the movies: A passenger is forced to land a plane after its pilot becomes incapacitated. But it became a reality for a passenger on board a plane over Florida on Sunday, and for the air traffic controllers who helped him land safely in what the National Air Traffic Controllers'

Headline: Norwegian sex at 100mph
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 13.4.9
Caption: Speed Sex 100MPH

The unnamed couple, a 28-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman, were caught in the act late on Easter Sunday by traffic police on the E18 highway, some 25 miles west of Oslo.

Officers who clocked the couple's silver Mazda 323 racing at 133 kilometres per hour in a 100 zone realised they were doing more than just breaking the speed limit, police told AFP.

It was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say," said Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerund district police.

"He couldn't see much because her back was in the way," he added.

"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know."

After following the couple for nearly a kilometre, officers pulled the car over at a service station.

"We have taken away his driving licence because of the danger that he caused," Mr Hagen said.

Headline: Bomb Squad Called In to Defuse ... Prosthetic Leg
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 13.4.9
Caption: Just a Leg

HILLSBORO, Ore. — A scary situation turned into a strange one when a bomb squad determined that a suspicious package left outside the Washington County Sheriff's Office contained a prosthetic leg.

Sheriff's Sgt. Vance Stimler said deputies called the Portland bomb squad out to Hillsboro Sunday afternoon after noticing a canvas bag with a cylinder-shaped object sticking out.

Cop Zaps Wife

Headline: Texas Top Cop Fired, Jailed for Allegedly Tasering Wife
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Cop Zaps Wife

OAKWOOD, Texas — The chief of a small Central Texas town's police department has been fired and jailed for allegedly using a Taser gun on his wife.

Former Oakwood police chief Oly Ivy is in Leon County Jail in Centerville on Wednesday, charged with aggravated assault. Bond is $100,000.

Ivy, 30, was arrested near Palestine on Monday. The city council fired him that night.

Ivy's attorney, Charley Johnson, tells KXXV-TV in Waco that his client "is taking these allegations very seriously." He says he intends for Ivy to "be treated the same as anybody in this situation."

Headline: Man Accidentally Shoots Himself At Drive-through
Origin of Clip: CBSNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: OMG What did he hit ? - Whew!

A stop at a fast-food restaurant's drive-through on Tuesday afternoon led to a trip to the hospital after a man accidentally shot himself in the leg with a pistol. The 24-year-old man was apparently trying to clear the weapon when it went off and hit him in the calf.

Police said the man didn't need a permit because the gun wasn't concealed, so he didn't break any laws.

Headline: Baseball Team Does Animal Sacrifice to Stop Losing
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Now this is strange

PALM HARBOR, Fla. — A Tampa Bay area high school baseball coach has been temporarily relieved of his duties while authorities investigate the killing and burial of a snake on his team's field.

Palm Harbor University High School second baseman Zach Sobel says Jeremy Albrecht told the team last week that they were "snake-bitten" and needed to stop their losing streak.

So, Sobel says, the team bought and killed a snake, then buried it on the field during the school's spring break.

The coach wasn't present.

A Pinellas County schools spokeswoman says Albrecht is temporarily sidelined while authorities investigate.

A sheriff's office spokeswoman says nothing has been found on the field...

Headline: Skeleton Found in Tree Nearly 30 Years After Suicide
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Very Creepy

A skeleton of a German man who shot and killed himself in a tree has been found by a hiker – nearly 30 years later.

Police said the 69-year-old retiree who had been missing since 1980 tied himself to the tree before firing the gun, Reuters reported.

His remains were discovered after an 18-year-old hiker found a bone in the forest last week and brought it to police, who then searched the area, Reuters reported.

"We found the skeleton up in the tree with the pistol hanging on a rope next to it," police spokesman Leonard Mayer was quoted as saying.

Headline: Police: Man Cut And Stabbed After Flatulence Fight
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Fart Fight

Police said a fight over flatulence left one man stabbed and another facing an assault charge. A statement Wednesday said police were called to a motel where several men from the Houston area were sharing a room. Police said a 35-year-old man allegedly passed gas in the room Tuesday night.

Police said one of the other men became upset, picked up a knife and threw it at the 35-year-old man, who was cut in the leg. The suspect was accused of then stabbing the man in the chest.

Headline: Mass. Schools to Issue 'Fat' Report Cards on Students
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Fat Report

BOSTON — Massachusetts health officials have approved regulations that would require sending children's Body Mass Index measurements home to parents.

The Public Health Council voted unanimously Wednesday to calculate student heights and weights, which are already measured annually, into a Body Mass Index measuring their overall proportions.

The results will be sent home to parents for students in first, fourth, seventh and 10th grades in a package explaining what they mean and how parents can best combat obesity.

Department of Public Health Medical Director Lauren Smith says Massachusetts will join Arkansas in notifying parents about a child's Body Mass Index. Eighteen other states require a BMI calculation.

Headline: Mother Wins Right to Harvest Dead Son's Sperm
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Is this not incest after the fact?

AUSTIN, Texas — A judge has granted a mother's request to have someone harvest sperm from her dead son's body, so she can have the option of carrying out his wish to have children.

Nikolas Colton Evans, 21, died Sunday at a hospital after being punched and falling outside an Austin bar March 27.

His mother, Marissa Evans, told the Austin American-Statesman newspaper that he wanted to have three sons someday and had even picked out their names: Hunter, Tod and Van.

"I want him to live on. I want to keep a piece of him," she told the newspaper.

Travis County Probate Judge Guy Herman ruled Monday in an emergency hearing requested by the mother, because of the urgency of collecting the sperm intact.
Court documents said the sperm had to be collected within 24 hours of Nikolas Evans being removed from life support unless the body was cooled to no more than 39.2 degrees Fahrenheit (4 Celsius).
Herman ordered the county medical examiner's office to continue storing the body at the proper temperature until the sperm could be collected.

Help, I Need Someone

Headline: Frantic 911 Call: "My Wife Is Biting Me!"
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 24.3.9
Caption: Help, I Need Someone

Some people will go to fisticuffs to get their point across, and others will go to, well, handcuffs, reports WCBS In New York.

Such was the case for a Fairfield woman having marital problems who desperately wanted to talk to her husband after he apparently decided to leave her.

Helen Sun, 37, was arrested Tuesday after sneaking into Robert Drawbough's bedroom and handcuffing herself to him while he slept so they could talk.

Drawbough, frightened by his wife's antics, however, called police immediately and begged the dispatcher for help after his wife began biting and scratching him.

Headline: Police Say Woman Used Fake ID To Get Fake Breasts
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Fake and Flaky

Police are seeking a woman they said used a false identity to get breast implants and liposuction, then skipped town. Huntington Beach police said Monday that a 30-year-old woman opened a line of credit in someone else's name in September 2008 and had the procedures worth more than $12,000 performed at the Pacific Center For Plastic Surgery.

Headline: Spider-Man comes to boy's rescue
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 24.3.9
Caption: Spiderman Saves The Day Or Was That Mighty Mouse

A FIREMAN turned superhero when he dressed up as comic-book character Spider-Man to coax a frightened eight-year-old from a balcony, police say.
Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities yesterday when an autistic pupil, scared of going to lessons, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant said.

Despite teachers' efforts to beckon the boy inside, he refused to budge until his mother mentioned her son's love of superheroes, prompting fireman Sonchai Yoosabai to take a novel approach to the problem.

"My fireman rushed back to the fire station and took out his Spider-Man costume ... The boy immediately ran into his arms with a smile,'' Sergeant Virat Boonsadao said.

Headline: Parrot Awarded for Yelling About Choking Baby
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Parrot is a Hero

DENVER — A parrot that alerted his owner about a baby who was choking was recognized as a hero by the Red Cross.

Willie the parrot was given the Animal Lifesaver Award during the "Breakfast of Champions" event attended by Gov. Bill Ritter and Mayor John Hickenlooper.

Willie received the award Friday for his actions in November, when he and owner Megan Howard were baby-sitting a toddler. Willie repeatedly yelled "Mama, baby" when Howard went to the bathroom and the toddler started to choke on her breakfast.

Headline: U.S. Jobs Threatened by Cheap Chinese Condoms
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 24.3.9
Caption: Baby Booming Condoms

With the American economy in turmoil, the government has decided to drop a long-standing contract with a U.S. company and give it to a foreign one, the Kansas City Star reported.

In a move that will cost around 300 American jobs, the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), has decided to purchase condoms from foreign companies — in countries like South Korea and China — because they cost less than American-made prophylactics, the Star reported.

The agency distributes billions of condoms to poor countries around the world, but has previously used only American-made condoms because of "Buy American" regulations, the Star reported. The stimulus bill that recently passed in Congress, however, does not include that provision for condoms...

Nag For Sale - Wife That Is

Headline: For sale: One nagging wife, some rust
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 12.3.9
Caption: Nag For Sale - Wife That Is

A BRITISH man fed up with his wife's complaints advertised her for sale - and got a number of offers.
"Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT (roadworthy certificate). Very high maintenance - some rust," wrote Gary Bates, 38, in a small ad in Trade-It, more usually used to buy and sell cars or household goods.

Mr Bates, a self-employed builder from Gloucestershire, southwest England, snapped after his wife Donna on got on his nerves while she was watching television and he decided to place the ad as a joke.

"She was nagging me for doing something small, while she was watching some rubbish on TV. So I just thought I'd put an ad in to get rid of her.

"I didn't think anyone would ring up but I've had at least nine or 10 people calling about her. It's gone mad. There was no one I knew - just people asking, 'Is she still available?'"..

Headline: Horse bites off man's testicle
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 12.3.9
Caption: Horse Eats Man's Testicle - OUCH

AN Indonesian villager had to be rushed to hospital after a horse bit off one of his testicles.
The 35-year-old man was unloading sand from a horse-drawn cart at a construction site in Sulawesi earlier this week when the attack occurred, Indonesia's state-run news agency Antara reported.

A witness said the animal suddenly lunged at the man, sinking its teeth into his crotch.

Shocked bystanders loaded the man into a car to take him to hospital, before one noticed a piece of flesh on the pavement.

"Luckily the horse did not chew up or swallow his testicle, but spit it onto the pavement," the bystander was quoted as saying.

"So I picked it up and brought it to the doctor at the hospital where the victim was being treated

Headline: Power tool sex toy lands woman in hospital
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 11.3.9
Caption: Power Sex

SOME sexual experimentation landed an American woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.

The Maryland woman was flown to hospital on Monday after she was injured in the incident involving a sex toy attached to a sabre saw blade, according to NBCWashington.com.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, the St Mary's County Sheriff's Office said.

NBCWashington.com reported the saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman.
The injuries were severe enough for her to be flown to hospital but she was released on Tuesday.

HEADLINE: 3 Car Dealership Executives, 81 Vehicles Missing
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.3.9
Caption: If you can't sell them, steal them

OMAHA, Neb. — Some of the dozens of new cars that vanished from a western Nebraska car dealership have turned up in other states and warrants have been issued for three missing executives, a prosecutor said Wednesday.

The 81 Fords and Toyotas taken from Legacy Auto Sales in Scottsbluff were valued at about $2.5 million.

Chief deputy county attorney John Childress of Scotts Bluff County said seven of the cars were found Wednesday at an auto auction in Utah. Others were found in Arizona, but he didn't know the number.

Childress said arrest warrants had been issued for owner Allen Patch, controller Rachel Fait and general manager Rick Covello, who are wanted on suspicion of theft.

Headline: Man Survives Plunge Over Niagara Falls
Clip from: citynews.ca
Date of clip: 11.3.9
Caption: Plunge over Niagara Falls without a barrel.

A man has survived a plunge over Niagara Falls, clinging to a log long enough for a private helicopter to create a current that pushed him to safety, according to reports.

Investigators tell a Buffalo television station, WGRZ, that the victim was semiconscious when he was rescued and was taken to a hospital in Niagara Falls, Canada. His condition was not immediately known.

While investigators were not yet calling the leap a suicide attempt, they say the man did enter the water on his own. Authorities got a call from a witness telling them a man had jumped into the Horseshoe Falls, as the Canadian Falls are known. A short time later, he was seen near the base of the falls, clinging to a log.

A private helicopter from Niagara Falls Helicopter was called in and got within three metres of the victim. Wind from the chopper's blades forced enough of a current to push him closer to shore where rescuers could get to him.

Headline: 'Great Sex' Sermons Cause Stir in Rural Town
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.3.9
Caption: Great Sex Church

GOOD HOPE, Ala. — It's one thing for a church in a big city like Dallas or Atlanta to tackle the ticklish topic of sex. It blends in with the urban scene.

It's another thing when a small-town congregation puts up billboards with the phrase "Great sex: God's way" on rural highways to promote a sermon series. You can't even legally buy beer in Cullman County, and a preacher is talking about S-E-X on Sunday morning?

Daystar Church, whose congregation has grown dramatically under pastor Jerry Lawson, has run up against the sensibilities of a conservative north Alabama community with a monthlong focus on sex.

Headline: 'Funeral home worker robbed the dead'
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 11.3.9
Caption: Stiff Stiffed

A VICTORIAN funeral home worker accused of stealing cash from the houses of dead people told an assistant they "wouldn't need it any more", a court heard.
It was alleged David Rawlins, 37, looked through bedside drawers, under mattresses and in wardrobes.

Former colleague Rhiannon Leo told the Melbourne Magistrates' Court she saw Mr Rawlins steal money from a tin on a refrigerator as an elderly man lay dead on the kitchen floor.

Mr Rawlins then allegedly looked through the dead man's wallet.

Ms Leo said Mr Rawlins later told her that he should have stuffed something in the tin to stop it rattling and taken it from the house inside the body bag.

As he searched another man's shoes on the pretext of looking for house keys, Mr Rawlins allegedly said: "It's amazing where people hide things."

He also allegedly told Ms Leo that police who first arrived at the homes of the dead would have taken their share, and that "whatever was left was for us".

Headline: Man hid gun in pants to 'impress women'
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 11.3.9
Caption: What is that bulge?

A FORMER soldier suffering trauma from his time in the army took a loaded gun into a Brisbane nightclub because he wanted to impress women, a court has been told.
Samuel John Radoll, 21, approached two women in The Met nightclub on October 25 last year and asked them to feel the "awesome" thing he had down his pants, the Brisbane Magistrates Court was told today.

The first woman happily chatted to Radoll, sat on his lap and had her photo taken with him after she discovered he had a gun secreted down the front of his jeans.

But the second woman reported him to security personnel, the court was told.

When security guards approached Radoll and tried to take the gun he struggled with them and warned them it was loaded.

Not the Joys of being online

Headline: Man Kills Wife for Changing Facebook Status to 'Single'
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.1.9
Caption: A very sad story - Not the Joys of being online

A man murdered his estranged wife after he became “enraged” that she had changed her marital status to single on the social networking site Facebook.

Edward Richardson, 41, was found guilty of stabbing to death Sarah Richardson, 26, a hairdresser, in her parents’ house in Staffordshire on May 12 last year.

Fiona Cortese of the Crown Prosecution Service said: “Richarsdon became enraged when Sarah changed her marital status on Facebook to single and decided to go and see her as she was not responding to his messages.”

Stafford Crown Court heard that Richardson, a carpenter from Biddulph, Stoke-on-Trent, had sought out Mrs Richardson in her parents house and entered by breaking the front door window.

Headline: Virgin golfer fined for mid-air fondle
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.1.9
Caption:Pervert or Immature - You Decide

AN up-and-coming golfer who fondled a woman's breast on an international flight has escaped conviction after being labelled "massively immature" by a magistrate.

Leighton Lyle, the 2007 Victorian amateur champion who earned his Australasian professional tour card last month, was seated next to the woman on a Los Angeles to Melbourne flight in April of that year.

She awoke to feel her nipple being tugged and the top half of her breast exposed, the Melbourne Magistrates Court was told today.

The court was told the victim was significantly affected by the incident, which occurred while Lyle was returning home from caddying for his brother, professional golfer Jarrod Lyle, on the US PGA tour.

Headline: North Carolina Student Arrested During Snowball Fight
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 23.1.9
Caption: Snowball to jail

Campus police at East Carolina University said they made one arrest and used pepper spray on some students as officers tried to control a huge snowball fight on campus.

Police were called to a dormitory three times as more than 200 students pelted each other with snowballs as a rare snowstorm dropped several inches of snow in eastern North Carolina on Tuesday, The Daily Reflector of Greenville reported Thursday.

Some witnesses said they were hit hard by indiscriminately hurled snowballs.

Not In Our Country

Headline: Cleric says its OK to rape your wife
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 21.1.9
Caption: Not In Our Country

A MELBOURNE Islamic cleric has told his male followers they can force their wives to have sex and hit them if they are disobedient.

Coburg's self-styled cleric Samir Abu Hamza said despite Australian rape laws it was impossible for a man to rape his wife even if she refused to have sex with him, the Herald Sun reports.

In a recorded lecture entitled "The Keys to a Successful Marriage", delivered to his male worshippers but now broadcast on the internet and viewed by several thousand people, Mr Hamza said Islamic law allowed men to hit their wives as a last resort, but they were not to make them bleed or become bruised.

Headline: Cow Knocks Over Woman On Bike, Steps On Her Legs
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 20.1.9
Caption: Cowed

A woman escaped serious injury and refused medical treatment after a cow knocked her down and walked on her legs. Boulder Open Space and Mountain Parks ranger Pete Taylor said the woman was riding her bicycle along the South Boulder Creek Trail on Monday when she encountered the cow and stopped to let the animal cross. Instead, the cow knocked the woman over and stepped on her legs.

Headline: Woman wins rights to superdog's sperm
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 20.1.9
Caption: Sperm Dog

A QUEENSLAND dog breeder has won a legal settlement over the ownership of a stud police dog and its frozen sperm. Leigh Robertson of Narangba, in Brisbane, took action against Queensland Police Dog Squad kennel manager Reg Worth after he sold Ike to the police service without her permission. "Ike was not his to sell," Ms Robertson said.

Headline: Woman Creates Artwork From 395 Days Of Junk Mail
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 20.1.9
Caption: Art of Junk

One person's junk mail is an Austin woman's art. Artist Annette Lawrence saved every scrap of junk mail she received, at her home, for about 13 months and made it into an exhibit called "Free Paper."

Lawrence told KXAN-TV that she was "a bit bothered" by the amount of paper that arrived at her residence, 265 pounds worth, during the 395-day period. Instead of recycling the junk mail, Lawrence saved it so observers can take away a sense of "Wow, that is a lot of paper."

Headline: Woman Arrested After Child Gives Away Hiding Spot
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 19.1.9
Caption: Honesty of a Child

A Fort Pierce woman ended up in jail because of a little girl with a big mouth. Police went to the home of 22-year-old woman on Friday to serve warrants for assault, harassing phone calls and violation probation carrying a concealed weapon without a permit.

Officers said two men and a woman at the house told officers that the woman had left, but then a 4-year old child approached one of the officers and revealed that the woman was under a bed.

Headline: Woman Missing 12 Years Found Alive in Swiss Woods
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 19.1.9
Caption: Incredible

BERN, Switzerland — A German woman missing for 12 years has been found living in the woods on the outskirts of the Swiss capital with nothing more than an umbrella and tarpaulin for shelter, police said Monday.

The 52-year-old woman, whose name was undisclosed, appeared to be healthy after living in the simple shelter near the community of Bolligen for the past year.

Even the ranger who makes regular checks of the woods had failed to notice her before a hiker told police this month that he had seen a woman living there, said Juerg Mosimann, spokesman for the Bern police.

Bolligen's Mayor Rudolf Burger said he was told about the woman on Thursday and found her the next day in the makeshift tent she had constructed.

Headline: Men Rescued After Drifting for 25 Days in Icebox
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 19.1.9
Caption: Whan the boat is not afloat

Two Burmese men who were lost at sea for 25 days after a fishing boat they were in sank off the southeast coast of Indonesia were found alive, floating in an oversized icebox.

The men, who said they were forced to join the boat’s crew, were found Saturday — 25 days after the vessel went down about 60 miles off Horn Island, the Courier-Mail reported.

STUPID PEOPLE

Headline: N.Y. Man Demands $1.5M From Wife for Kidney
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 7.1.9
Caption: Stupid People

A New York doctor has demanded that his estranged wife pay him $1.5 million to compensate him for the kidney he gave her while they were still on good terms.
Dr. Richard Batista spoke Wednesday to reporters at his lawyer's office in Garden City, Long Island.
He said he gave his kidney to Dawnell Batista in June 2001. She filed for divorce in July 2005.

VIDEO: Boy, 6, drives car 10 miles toward school
From: CNN.com
Date of clip: 7.1.9

Headline: Skier caught with his pants down
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 7.1.9
Caption: THIS DUDE WILL KEEP HIS PANTS ON FROM NOW ON.

What's worse than dreaming about going to work naked? Losing your pants on a ski lift and having the photos appear on news websites.
The unlucky man was left hanging in the cold on January 1 when he fell through the chairlift seat at Blue Sky Basin at Vail Ski Resort.

The Smoking Gun, which carries photos of the embarrassing incident, reports the man became suspended over the snow when his right ski jammed in the chairlift. Somehow his trousers got caught too.

Apparently the 48-year-old man was stuck without his pants for around 15 minutes as fellow skiers took photos.

Headline: Man smashes into shop for sex with dolls
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 6.1.9
Caption: Man Steals Doll Has Sex

A MAN has smashed his way into an adult shop and had sex with blow-up dolls before abandoning the sex toys in a nearby lane.
Business owners in Cairns believe the same culprit is responsible for break-ins and till thefts at the Sapphire Bar on Lake St and three break-ins at the Laneway Adult Shop off Spence St in recent days....
The owner of the adult shop, who wished to be named only as Vogue, said that in a first unreported break-in, the man had stolen five dolls and had sex with one of them.

Headline: German Billionaire Kills Himself Over Economic Crisis
From: FoxNews.com
Date of clip: 6.1.9
Caption: It's Not What You Have, It's What You Are Losing

German billionaire Adolf Merckle has committed suicide after his business empire, which included interests ranging from pharmaceuticals to cement, ran into trouble in the global financial crisis, his family said Tuesday.

Headline: Police: Ohio Boy, 4, Shoots Baby Sitter With Shotgun
From: FoxNews.com
Date of clip: 6.1.9
Caption: The World Has Gone Crazy

Police say an angry 4-year-old Ohio boy grabbed a gun from a closet and shot his baby sitter.

Eighteen-year-old Nathan Beavers was hospitalized Sunday with minor wounds to his arm and side after the shotgun attack. Police say another teen was also injured.

Witnesses told police the child was angry because Beavers accidentally stepped on his foot. Beavers was watching the child at a mobile home in Jackson with several other teenagers and several other children.

Headline: Star's dog sick after eating condoms
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 6.1.9
Caption: Safe Sex Dog

IF being dressed up as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz wasn't bad enough, little Dinky Oldfield brought new meaning to the idea of a sick puppy last week, requiring an emergency trip to the vet after eating a "six-fingered latex glove". The jack russell, owned by 2GB midnight-to-dawn radio recruit and former One Nation mastermind David Oldfield, was rushed to Sydney's Manly Vet Clinic on New Years Eve by his wife Lisa.

Fearing for the dogs life, the one-time TV panellist pushed through the line to saying her "little scallywag'' needed help.

But after Dr Chris Watkins immediately pumped the six-month-old pups stomach, he didn't discover a glove, but six coloured condoms.

"David was cleaning out his office and left out a box of condoms given to him by a safe sex group in Canberra or something and the dog got into them when I was in the shower,'' Lisa said.

Penis mine to burn

Headline: His penis belongs to me - jealous wife
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 5.1.9
Caption: Penis mine to burn

A SELF-CONFESSED "jealous wife" who allegedly murdered her husband by torching his genitals told neighbours "his penis should belong to me", a court has heard.

Prosecutors today told the Adelaide Magistrates Court that Rajini Narayan should not be released on bail without an extensive psychological assessment, Adelaide Now reported.

Lucy Boord, for the Crown, said the 44-year-old had confessed to neighbours that she had set her engineer husband, Satish, alight upon learning he was having an affair.

"She told neighbours 'my husband loves another woman, he hugs her'," Ms Boord said.

Mrs Narayan said: "I'm a jealous wife, his penis should belong to me, I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else.

"It's just his penis I wanted to burn, I didn't mean this to happen."

Headline: Cop 'caught drink-driving on duty'
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 4.1.9
Caption: We're All Human

A 32-year-old police officer has been charged with drink driving while on duty in Margaret River in Western Australia.
Western Australian police allege the officer had been driving on Willmott Avenue, Margaret River, on November 29 when she tested positive for a blood alcohol limit in excess of 0.08.

Headline: Poor Economy Prompts Wave of Burial Plot Sales
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 3.1.9
Caption: Too Broke to Die

Burial plot brokers are reporting an uptick in the business of reselling grave sites, as money troubles prompt a growing number of people to put their burial plots up for sale, often at a loss.

Baron Chu, who owns the burial site resale business Plot Brokers, said he is doing nine or 10 times as much business as usual, a jump he attributes to the economic downturn, according to the Los Angeles-based Daily News.

Chu said people are only getting about a quarter of what their plots would have fetched six months ago because of the increased supply hitting the market. He said one client, who had just been evicted from her home, got $500 for a plot worth $6,800.

Headline: Man's Last Lotto Ticket Wins $10M for Widow
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 3.1.9
Caption: Gift From a Dead Man

On the day that Donald Peters died, he unknowingly provided financial security for his wife of 59 years and their family.

Peters bought two Connecticut Lottery tickets at a local 7-Eleven store on Nov. 1 as part of a 20-year tradition he shared with his wife Charlotte. Later that day, the 79-year-old retired hat factory worker suffered a fatal heart attack while working in his yard in Danbury.

On Friday, his widow cashed in one of the tickets: a $10 million winner which, in her grief over her husband's death, she had put aside and almost discarded before recently checking the numbers.

"I'm numb," Charlotte Peters, 78, said at Connecticut Lottery headquarters in Rocky Hill.

Headline: The Pill 'polluting the environment'
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 3.1.9
Caption: No Birth Killing

THE contraceptive pill is polluting the environment and is in part responsible for male infertility, a report in the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano said today.

The pill "has for some years had devastating effects on the environment by releasing tonnes of hormones into nature" through female urine, said Pedro Jose Maria Simon Castellvi, president of the International Federation of Catholic Medical Associations, in the report.

"We have sufficient evidence to state that a non-negligible cause of male infertility in the West is the environmental pollution caused by the pill," he said, without elaborating further.

Headline:Man Discovers Neighbor Is His Long Lost Sister
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 3.1.9
Caption: Love Thy Neighbor it Might be Your Sister

A brother and sister in England spent 40 years trying to find each other — then discovered they lived only 300 yards apart.
Ken Whitty, 64, walked past 62-year-old Yvonne’s house countless times and even saw her in the garden, but did not recognize her.
They were reunited only after Whitty wrote to his local paper appealing for help in his search.
Soon after his letter was published, he got a phone call saying: "Hello, this is Yvonne."
The pair spent their early years in Ordsall, Greater Manchester.
They were still kids when their parents died and were cared for by a family friend.

Busy Wife

Headline: Hubby: Men Who Slept With My Wife, Get HIV Test
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: Busy Wife

A Canadian man is urging others who may have slept with his Thai stripper ex-wife to get tested for the HIV virus after she passed it on to him, according to a report in the Toronto Sun.

"I know there were other men she slept with," Percy Whiteman told the Sun on Sunday. "I am lucky that I was able to find out early."

Whiteman has presented no public evidence to back up his allegations that his former wife, Suwalee Imkhong, 39, had sex with other men.

Headline: NYC Man Sells Bubbly Calendars For Popping Fans
From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: A Popping Good Time

A New York City man has designed a calendar that will drive Bubble Wrap fanatics popping-mad.

The Daily News of New York reports in Thursday editions that Stephen Turbek is selling a poster-size calendar covered with the plastic bubbles. Customers can pop a bubble each day to mark the passage of time.

The Brooklyn man says he has sold thousands of Bubble Calendars. A handmade calendar with paper backing is available online for $30 and a plastic version costs $50.

Headline: Man Arrested After Days Spent Hiding in Family's Attic
From: FOXnews.com
Date of clip: 29.12.8
Caption: House Guest of the Unknown Kind

A family did not realize they had an unexpected Christmas guest until a man who had been in their attic for days emerged wearing their clothes, police said.

Stanley Carter surrendered Friday after police took a dog to search the home in Plains Township, a suburb of Wilkes-Barre about 100 miles north of Philadelphia. He was charged with several counts of burglary, theft, receiving stolen property and criminal trespass.

"When he came down from the attic, he was wearing my daughter's pants and my sweat shirt and sneakers," homeowner Stacy Ferrance said. "From what I gather, he was helping himself to my home, eating my food and stealing my clothes."

Police said the 21-year-old Carter had been staying with his friends, who are Ferrance's neighbors in a duplex. But when they told him to leave, he apparently accessed the shared attic through a trap door in a bedroom ceiling.

Headline: Hospital Apologizes After Woman Gives Birth on Floor
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.12.8
Caption: This is nutty.

A pregnant woman in the U.K. was left unattended for hours and had to give birth on a hospital floor despite her desperate appeal for a bed.

Health board officials have apologized to Lynne Neilson, 36, whose baby started to arrive as she stood, still clothed, in an assessment room at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, a major teaching hospital in Scotland, after hours of waiting to be admitted. As the baby's head appeared, a midwife ran in just in time to put a paper mat on the floor and catch the baby, who had the umbilical cord around her neck.

Neilson and her husband Gavin filed an official complaint after the incident. The U.K.'s National Health Service in the Lothian region of Scotland, which oversees the hospital, is investigating the complaint and has apologized to the woman.

Burning Balls - Funny but Tragic

Headline: Man dies after genitals allegedly set alight
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.12.8
Caption: Burning Balls

A MAN whose wife allegedly set fire to his genitals while he slept has died.
Satish Narayan, 47, an engineer, lost his battle to survive at the Royal Adelaide Hospital yesterday, 20 days after sustaining burns to most of his body.

Headline: Eat your toast - or lose your virginity
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.12.8
Caption: Virgin Toast

PEOPLE who skip breakfast tend to lose their virginity earlier, according to researchers in Japan.
In a study of 3000 people, those who did not regularly eat breakfast in their early teens said they lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5, versus an overall average age of 19 for all Japanese.
Those who had a morning meal when they were younger had their first sexual experience at 19.4 years.
The study, backed by Japan's health ministry, was aimed at finding ways to curb unwanted pregnancies. It concluded that a stable home life discouraged early sex.

Headline: Kitchen dentist used wine to numb pain
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: OUCH!!

MAN operated an illegal dental surgery in the kitchen of his New York home and gave patients wine to help them cope with the pain.
Police arrested Carlos Flores after raiding his home at Peekskill, in northern New York.
Investigators say he had all the tools and treated patients in the kitchen of his home.
They said he had a chair next to a radiator and antiquated instruments caked in blood.
Police say there were two birds loose in the house, and on the kitchen table was a jug of wine Flores allegedly gave patients to help deal with the pain.
They said a man who went there for a toothache ended up in hospital after Flores broke the tooth while trying to pull it out.

Headline: Woman Awarded $198,000 for 'Horse Teeth'
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: Mr. Ed

A Bridgeport jury has awarded more than $198,000 to a woman who claims her dentist promised her a celebrity smile, but gave her what her attorney called "horse teeth."
Attorney Richard Meehan Jr. says his client, Marvalyn Foster sued Stamford dentist Darren Martinez because he promised her a "big, beautiful Hollywood celebrity smile." Foster wanted Martinez to give her a permanent bridge to replace a false tooth.
Meehan says that Foster woke up from the procedure to discover that Martinez extracted three teeth and made a large bridge that resembled horse teeth.

Headline: Give 'em Viagra
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: Up, Up, and Away

In an effort to win over fickle warlords and chieftains in Afghanistan and get information from them, CIA officials are handing out Viagra pills in exchange for their cooperation, the Washington Post reports.
"Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people - whether it's building a school or handing out Viagra," an agency operative, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Post.

Headline: Christmas charity workers attacked
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 26.12.8
Caption: Merry Christmas??

A CHARITY worker and his wife were attacked by a gang of youths as they investigated a disturbance outside their Melbourne home on Christmas Eve.
The couple, who gave their names only as Paul and Ilse, said they heard a loud bang outside their home in Noble Park, in the city's southeast, around 11.30pm on Wednesday.
Paul said he went outside to see four men who had kicked over a bin and after confronting them he was attacked in front of his wife.
The attackers kicked and punched the 56-year-old man about the face and head before one of the attackers turned on his wife, 68.
The gang laughed and mocked the couple throughout the attack...

Lost The Key -Yea Right

Headlines: Man Handcuffs His Wife To The Bed, But Loses Key
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 12.12.8
Caption: Lost The Key -Yea Right

If you love something, set it free. And if you can't, call the police. The Detroit Free Press reported police responded to a call Thursday morning by a Dearborn man who handcuffed his wife to their bed but misplaced the key.
Police used a universal key to free the woman.

Headline: Firefighter arrested for fire hoaxes
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 11.12.8
Caption: Fire Crier

A NEW York fireman has been arrested for crying fire - when there was no fire.
Fire Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta told NY1 television overnight that the rogue firefighter had been secretly calling comrades out to non-existent emergencies. Commissioner Scoppetta did not describe the motives of what he called "simply outrageous" actions...

Headline: Ga. School Staff Accused of Inflatable Mattress Sex
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.12.8
Caption: THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT GO TOGETHER: TEACHERS, SCHOOL, SEX, AIR MATTRESS

Several Richmond County educators are being reprimanded after officials uncovered a sex scandal involving teachers, coaches and the principal of an Augusta middle school.
Superintendent Dana Bedden says seven Spirit Creek Middle School faculty members have been implicated in a series of incidents that included daytime sexual encounters on an inflatable mattress in the school's public safety office.
No students were involved in any of the encounters, which came to light after a former teacher sent an e-mail about the allegations to school system leaders.

Headline: Punish parents for smacking - academic
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 11.12.8
Caption: This old man, he played two. He played patty wack on me shoe...

PARENTS should be banned from smacking their kids - and be prosecuted if the child is harmed, a leading academic said.

Smacking of children by parents is currently legal under the common law, as long as reasonable force is used and the sole intention is to correct behaviour.

But Sydney University Associate Professor Judy Cashmore wants the defence struck out, The Daily Telegraph reports.

Parents would thus be liable to prosecution for smacking but she said it was unlikely any would be charged unless real harm was done.

Smacking involving force or leaving lasting physical effects is already an abuse under child protection laws.

Professor Cashmore will tell an Australian Institute of Family Studies seminar in Melbourne today that Australia should follow the lead of New Zealand and remove the common law defence.