Cop Zaps Wife

Headline: Texas Top Cop Fired, Jailed for Allegedly Tasering Wife
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Cop Zaps Wife

OAKWOOD, Texas — The chief of a small Central Texas town's police department has been fired and jailed for allegedly using a Taser gun on his wife.

Former Oakwood police chief Oly Ivy is in Leon County Jail in Centerville on Wednesday, charged with aggravated assault. Bond is $100,000.

Ivy, 30, was arrested near Palestine on Monday. The city council fired him that night.

Ivy's attorney, Charley Johnson, tells KXXV-TV in Waco that his client "is taking these allegations very seriously." He says he intends for Ivy to "be treated the same as anybody in this situation."

Headline: Man Accidentally Shoots Himself At Drive-through
Origin of Clip: CBSNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: OMG What did he hit ? - Whew!

A stop at a fast-food restaurant's drive-through on Tuesday afternoon led to a trip to the hospital after a man accidentally shot himself in the leg with a pistol. The 24-year-old man was apparently trying to clear the weapon when it went off and hit him in the calf.

Police said the man didn't need a permit because the gun wasn't concealed, so he didn't break any laws.

Headline: Baseball Team Does Animal Sacrifice to Stop Losing
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Now this is strange

PALM HARBOR, Fla. — A Tampa Bay area high school baseball coach has been temporarily relieved of his duties while authorities investigate the killing and burial of a snake on his team's field.

Palm Harbor University High School second baseman Zach Sobel says Jeremy Albrecht told the team last week that they were "snake-bitten" and needed to stop their losing streak.

So, Sobel says, the team bought and killed a snake, then buried it on the field during the school's spring break.

The coach wasn't present.

A Pinellas County schools spokeswoman says Albrecht is temporarily sidelined while authorities investigate.

A sheriff's office spokeswoman says nothing has been found on the field...

Headline: Skeleton Found in Tree Nearly 30 Years After Suicide
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 9.4.9
Caption: Very Creepy

A skeleton of a German man who shot and killed himself in a tree has been found by a hiker – nearly 30 years later.

Police said the 69-year-old retiree who had been missing since 1980 tied himself to the tree before firing the gun, Reuters reported.

His remains were discovered after an 18-year-old hiker found a bone in the forest last week and brought it to police, who then searched the area, Reuters reported.

"We found the skeleton up in the tree with the pistol hanging on a rope next to it," police spokesman Leonard Mayer was quoted as saying.

Headline: Police: Man Cut And Stabbed After Flatulence Fight
Origin of Clip: CBSnews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Fart Fight

Police said a fight over flatulence left one man stabbed and another facing an assault charge. A statement Wednesday said police were called to a motel where several men from the Houston area were sharing a room. Police said a 35-year-old man allegedly passed gas in the room Tuesday night.

Police said one of the other men became upset, picked up a knife and threw it at the 35-year-old man, who was cut in the leg. The suspect was accused of then stabbing the man in the chest.

Headline: Mass. Schools to Issue 'Fat' Report Cards on Students
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Fat Report

BOSTON — Massachusetts health officials have approved regulations that would require sending children's Body Mass Index measurements home to parents.

The Public Health Council voted unanimously Wednesday to calculate student heights and weights, which are already measured annually, into a Body Mass Index measuring their overall proportions.

The results will be sent home to parents for students in first, fourth, seventh and 10th grades in a package explaining what they mean and how parents can best combat obesity.

Department of Public Health Medical Director Lauren Smith says Massachusetts will join Arkansas in notifying parents about a child's Body Mass Index. Eighteen other states require a BMI calculation.

Headline: Mother Wins Right to Harvest Dead Son's Sperm
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 8.4.9
Caption: Is this not incest after the fact?

AUSTIN, Texas — A judge has granted a mother's request to have someone harvest sperm from her dead son's body, so she can have the option of carrying out his wish to have children.

Nikolas Colton Evans, 21, died Sunday at a hospital after being punched and falling outside an Austin bar March 27.

His mother, Marissa Evans, told the Austin American-Statesman newspaper that he wanted to have three sons someday and had even picked out their names: Hunter, Tod and Van.

"I want him to live on. I want to keep a piece of him," she told the newspaper.

Travis County Probate Judge Guy Herman ruled Monday in an emergency hearing requested by the mother, because of the urgency of collecting the sperm intact.
Court documents said the sperm had to be collected within 24 hours of Nikolas Evans being removed from life support unless the body was cooled to no more than 39.2 degrees Fahrenheit (4 Celsius).
Herman ordered the county medical examiner's office to continue storing the body at the proper temperature until the sperm could be collected.

Singing Sacked Woman

Headline: Woman fired for singing at work
Clip from: Canada.com.
Date of clip: 28.2.9
Caption: Singing in the Rain

A 47-year-old woman from Ghana has won six months' wages as compensation after her Italian employer fired her for singing on the job, her labour union said yesterday. Mirco Rota, secretary-general of the CGIL steelworkers' branch in Bergamo, northern Italy, said the woman -- a long-term employee who had lived in the country for 20 years -- was fired from a metalworking shop for "singing and bothering her colleagues." "That's ridiculous, given that her work -- hammering metal -- meant she couldn't be heard beyond one metre," he said.

Headline: Girl, 9, to abort twins
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.2.9
Caption: A Sick World

A NINE-year-old girl pregnant after years of alleged sexual abuse by her stepfather is likely to abort twins she is carrying in a case that has shocked Brazil, reports in Sao Paulo said.
The Brazilian girl, who was not identified because she is a minor, was found to be four months pregnant after being taken to hospital suffering stomach pains, the news websites G1, pe360graus and the Diario de Pernambuco reported..

Headline: Belly button fluff mystery solved
Clip from: telegraph.co.uk
Date of clip: 28.2.9
Caption: Do we really need to know?

After three years of research, Georg Steinhauser, a chemist, has discovered a type of body hair that traps stray pieces of lint and draws them into the navel.

Dr Steinhauser made his discovery after studying 503 pieces of fluff from his own belly button.

Chemical analysis revealed the pieces of fluff were not made up of only cotton from clothing. Wrapped up in the lint were also flecks of dead skin, fat, sweat and dust.

Dr Steinhauser's observations showed that 'small pieces of fluff first form in the hair and then end up in the navel at the end of the day'.

Headline: Ohio Woman Drives While Breast-Feeding
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 28.2.9
Caption: Tits Sucked While Driving

Police in Ohio say a woman has been charged with child endangering after another motorist reported she was both breast-feeding a youngster and talking on a phone while driving.

Police in the Dayton suburb of Kettering say the caller told them he saw the woman Thursday.

Officer Michael Burke says authorities used a license plate number to track down 39-year-old Genine Compton.

He said the woman told officers she was breast-feeding and wouldn't let her child go hungry.

Burke said the legal concern is that Compton had a child in her lap while driving, not that she was breast-feeding in public.

Headline: Toilet Paper Worse for Environment Than Hummers?
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 28.2.9
Caption: Ass Wipe is Dirtier

That super-soft toilet paper you're fond of using? It's an ecological disaster, environmentalists say.

Millions of trees are harvested throughout the Americas – including rare old-growth forests in Canada – to sustain the United States’ obsession with quilted, ultra-soft, multi-ply toilet paper, the New York Times reported.

Although toilet paper manufacturers could produce products from recycled materials at a similar cost, the newspaper reported, the fiber taken from standing trees are necessary to help give the tissue its fluffy feel.

“No forest of any kind should be used to make toilet paper,” said Dr. Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist and waste expert with the Natural Resource Defense Council told the Times.

Headline: Jaywalker Saves Three From Truck, Still Gets Ticket
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: WTF

The Colorado State Patrol is reconsidering the jaywalking ticket issued to a good Samaritan who was seriously injured by a pickup after he pushed three people out of its path.

Bus driver Jim Moffett and another man were helping two elderly women cross a busy Denver street in a snowstorm when he was hit Feb. 20.

Moffett, 58, suffered bleeding in the brain, broken bones, a dislocated shoulder and a possible ruptured spleen. He remained hospitalized in serious condition Friday.

Moffett, the other good Samaritan and one of the women were cited for jaywalking. The patrol said the other woman wasn't directly involved. The patrol originally said that despite Moffett's intentions, jaywalking contributed to the accident..

Headline: Alarm Company: Um, Sir? Your House Is On Fire
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: Balls Of Fire

A Connecticut man was so engrossed with the tunes on his iPod that he didn't realize his house was on fire _ until his alarm company called.

Pomfret Assistant Fire Chief Edward Bates says Andrew Riley told him he was listening to music Thursday afternoon when the blaze broke out on the upper floor of his 2 1/2-story house.

Bates says Riley didn't smell smoke or hear the smoke alarm going off.

After receiving the call, Riley dashed upstairs and shut a door to the burning room.

Firefighters arrived on the scene and quickly put out the blaze. The damage was limited to the exercise room and an adjoining office.

Headline: Budget Airline May Charge to Use Plane Toilet
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: The this include having sex in one.

Budget airline Ryanair is toying with the idea of charging passengers $1.40 to use the lavatory during flights, the Daily Telegraph reported Friday.

Ryanair's chief executive, Michael O'Leary, said in an interview that the no-frills airline was considering installing a coin slot on bathroom doors, according to the Telegraph.

O'Leary said the Dublin-based airline was trying to make air travel easier and more affordable.

Headline: Mich. Man Pleads No Contest In Vacuum Sex Act Case
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption:He Did What With A Vacuum?

A man has pleaded no contest to indecent exposure after police said he was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum. The Saginaw News reported 29-year-old Jason Leroy Savage entered the plea Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court. A no-contest plea is not an admission of guilt but will be treated as one at sentencing on March 25.

Police said Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early..

Headline: Sex-party nudists get into the swing
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 27.2.9
Caption: A Tad Of Nudity

MONTH-long sex party will put about 250 bare bums in the beds of a nudist resort in the heart of Mossman, north of Cairns. The White Cockatoo is almost fully booked next month for its Adults Only promotion, a swingers' romp where "almost anything goes".

"We've effectively sold out," resort owner Tony Fox said.

"It's a totally clothing optional, adults only month with almost no rules applicable.

"Provided it doesn't constitute a breach of the Australian law, they (guests) are welcome to do anything."

Nothing is real in cyberspace except reality

Headline: Teen Fired for Calling Job 'Boring' on Facebook
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.2.9
Caption: Nothing is real in cyberspace except reality

A teenager was fired from her job after calling it boring on Facebook.

Kimberley Swann made the comment about Ivell Marketing and Logistics Limited in Clacton, Essex, England where she had begun working as an administrator.

She claims she did not name the company online and was happy in the job.

The 16-year-old was fired with "immediate effect" after posting the negative comment on the social networking site.

"They were just being nosey, going through everything. I think it is really sad, it makes them look stupid that they are going to be so petty," she said.

Boss Steve Ivell told Sky News Online Swann posted comments about her job and invited other staff members to read them.

Headline: Man Dies After 'Guzzling' Viagra During 12-Hour Romp
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.2.9
Caption: At least he went with a smile on his face

A Russian man died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two female pals.

The women had bet mechanic Sergey Tuganov $4,300 that he wouldn’t be able to follow through with the half-day sex marathon.

But minutes after winning the bet, the 28-year-old died of a heart attack, Moscow police said.

Headline: 24 Drinking Arrests at Home of MADD Volunteer
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 26.2.9
Caption: This is the best ironic story ever

24 Drinking Arrests at Home of Miss Connecticut Outstanding Teen, MADD Volunteer
The reigning Miss Connecticut Outstanding Teen, a volunteer for Mothers Against Drunk Driving, held a party that resulted in two dozen people being charged with underage drinking, police said Wednesday.

Rachael Ramonas, 17, once organized a benefit for the families of friends killed in a car crash in which the teen behind the wheel had a history of drunken driving, according to the Web site of Miss America's Outstanding Teen.

It's not clear whether Ramonas, who competed in the Miss America Outstanding Teen pageant in August in Florida, was among those charged. Police are not releasing the teens' names because they are juveniles, and no teens are charged with drunken driving.

Ramonas, a high school senior, is an honor and AP student, according to the Web site of Miss America's Outstanding Teen.

Headline: Funeral Director Allegedly Leaves Corpse In Hearse
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 25.2.9
Caption: Corpse in Old Hearse

A funeral director faces a felony charge after police found a woman's decomposing body in the back of a hearse. Police said the 76-year-old funeral home owner was charged Tuesday with abusing a corpse. Police said the woman died of natural causes in November 2007 at the age of 52. Relatives said they wanted her remains cremated.

But police said the family never signed papers for a cremation or paid the funeral home. So the owner allegedly put the body in the back of a hearse and parked it on a lot with other old vehicles.

Headlines: Angry Passenger Douses Bus Driver With Coffee
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 25.2.9
Caption: Morning Coffee?

Police said a bus passenger angry about a possible strike that would disrupt his commute threw a cup of hot coffee on the driver, then ran away with the driver in pursuit. The Sun of Lowell reported that Debra Kemp, a driver for the Lowell Regional Transit Authority, told police the passenger was upset by a newspaper story about a possible drivers' strike.

Police Deputy Superintendent Deborah Friedl said the man then doused the driver with his coffee at about 8 a.m. on Tuesday and took off.

Headline: Fitness Trainer Won't Stop Until He Weighs 340 Lbs.
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 25.2.9
Caption: Most Ironic

Fitness trainer Paul James wanted to understand his overweight clients better, so he decided to pack on a few pounds himself.

Well, not just a few pounds. The once svelte 32-year-old has ballooned from 212 pounds to 263 pounds and says he won’t stop until he weighs 340 pounds.

Dumb Ass Teacher

Headline: Teacher Fired for Duct Taping Kid's Mouth Shut
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Dumb Ass Teacher

LAFAYETTE, Ind. — A school board in Indiana has fired a middle school teacher who placed duct tape over a special-needs student's mouth to keep him from talking in class.

The board of Tippecanoe School Corp. voted Wednesday to cancel Pamela Dahnke's contract. She was an eighth-grade health and nutrition teacher at Battle Ground Middle School in West Lafayette.

Superintendent Scott Hanback says the September taping incident "cannot be tolerated." ...

Headline: Speeding pregnant woman was 'busting'
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption:When You're Pregnant You Got To Go When You Got To Go

A PREGNANT woman caught driving 147km/h on the F3 had her licence suspension reduced yesterday because she was desperate to go to the toilet at the time of the offence.

Bettina Catherine May, from Chipping Norton, was three months pregnant when she was clocked driving 37km/h over the speed limit on October 12.

And when police pulled her over as she raced north out of Sydney towards Ourimbah she was not wearing a seatbelt...

Headline: Lithuanian Firm Hires Witch To Hunt Debt Dodgers
Clip from: CBS.com
Date of clip: 16.1.9
Caption: Witch Hunt

In these difficult times for creditors, a Lithuanian debt collector is offering an unconventional service to retrieve arrears: witchcraft.

The Vilnius-based firm has hired Vilija Lobaciuviene, the Baltic nation's most famous self-styled witch, to hunt down companies and individuals who are failing to pay their debts amid the credit crunch.

"There are certain people, who are using this crisis situation and refuse to pay back banks or other companies," said Amantas Celkonas, director of the Skolu Isieskojimo Biuras, or debt collecting bureau.

"Our new employee will help them to understand the situation, reconsider what is right and wrong and act accordingly," he said. "We will also help those who are in real trouble, suffering from psychological impact of bankruptcy and depression."

SPLISH SPLASH, I'M TAKING A BATH

Headline: Trio Fired For Sink Stunt From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 19.12.8
Caption: SPLISH SPLASH, I'M TAKING A BATH

The girls, from Anderson, California, had stripped to their bare essentials to enjoy the make-shift jacuzzi.
Bosses at KFC did not stumble upon the stunt until one of the trio posted a "KFC moments" gallery on her public MySpace profile.
Three fast food workers at a KFC outlet have been fired after posting pictures of themselves bathing in the restaurant's sinks... The girls, from Anderson, California, had stripped to their bare essentials to enjoy the make-shift jacuzzi.
Headline: Woman gives birth to 18th child

Headline: Woman gives birth to 18th child
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 19.12.8
Caption: No Birth Control Here

A WOMAN who has already had 17 kids with names beginning with the letter J has given birth to her 18th child - a girl named Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar. The latest addition to Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar's brood was delivered by Caesarean section at Mercy Medical Centre in Rogers, Arkansas overnight.

Headline: Mum killer requests longer sentence
From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 19.12.8
Caption: You don't hear this everyday.

A MAN who had sought the maximum jail term for murdering his mother has said his sentence of at least 17 years is "manifestly inadequate".
Adam Patrick Owens, 36, had pleaded guilty to the stabbing murder of his mother, 69-year-old environmentalist Doris Owens, in her home at Swanhaven, on the New South Wales south coast, in September 2006.
Earlier this month, he told the NSW Supreme Court his only regret was that he hadn't murdered her 20 years earlier, and that he would do it again if he had his time over..

Headline: 69 Rabbits Discovered In 1-bedroom Apartment
From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 19.12.8
Caption: Bunny Hop

It's Christmastime, not Easter, but the DuPage County Animal Care and Control Center in Wheaton has some rabbits available for adoption - 69 of them, to be exact. All of them were found recently in a one-bedroom apartment.

Headline: Shooting Victim Goes to Work With Bullet in His Head
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 18.12.8
Caption: A Real Bullethead

A Riviera Beach man who was hit by a stray bullet in the back of the head is back at work — with the slug still stuck in his skull.

E.T. Strickland says the bullet hurts, but not enough to keep him from his job. The 74-year-old sells commercial real estate. He was told by his doctors not to have the bullet removed unless it was pressing on any arteries or causing health problems. He does plan to see a neurosurgeon though because he wants it taken out if possible.

Headline: Pilot Tells Passengers 'I'm Not Qualified to Land Plane'
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 18.12.8
Caption: Sorry folks, I'm not smarter than a fith-grader.

Pilot with more than 30 years experience was forced to turn his plane around — because he was not qualified to land in fog, an airline confirmed Thursday.

Passengers on the 8:4 5.a.m Flybe flight to Paris were just minutes away from landing at their destination when they were told they would have to go all the way back to Cardiff, England.

One passenger from Bristol missed a job interview in France because of the incident.

Cassandra Grant explained: "Twenty minutes outside Paris, the captain said, 'Unfortunately I'm not qualified to land the plane in Paris. They are asking for a level two qualification and I only have a level five. We'll have to fly back.'"

Headline: 1,500 Parakeets Rescued From 2-room ApartmentClip From: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 18.12.8
Caption: How much is that birdie in the window?

Berlin officials said they have rescued 1,500 parakeets from a two-room apartment. City veterinarian Margit Platzer said the birds were flying freely around the apartment, which was "littered with feces, feathers and leftover food." Platzer said it took her team more than seven hours on Tuesday to catch all the birds with nets.

HEADLINE: Weather rocket kills man and blows up his body at cremation
Clip from: telegraph.co.uk
Date of clip: 18.12.8
Caption: Blown up twice - dead once

The body of Wang Diange, from the Chinese province of Inner Mongolia, was found in the wreckage of a house where he had been overseeing the wake of a previous family funeral, after mourners felt a loud explosion which took off half the roof.

As it was raining and thundery, they decided that the house, and Mr Wang in particular, had been struck by lightning. The police came to the same conclusion.

Further inquiries were made a few days later after Mr Wang's own funeral. As his body was being put into the cremation chamber, it blew up spectacularly, bursting the doors off the oven.

Headline: Fast-food Worker Laughs, Tells Robber To Get A Job
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: TWO, TWO, TWO DUMBIES IN ONE

A San Antonio fast-food restaurant cashier laughed at a robbery suspect and told him to get a job if he wanted money during a failed holdup on Tuesday evening.

Police said the suspect approached the worker and demanded money, but the cashier laughed and apparently didn't realize the man was trying to hold up the place.

Headline: Heart Found On Floor Of The Paw Paw Car Wash
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Someone's Heartless

Investigators are trying to determine if a heart found at on the floor of a southwestern Michigan car wash is from a human or an animal. The heart will be examined at a Lansing hospital's forensics services division.

WOOD-TV in Grand Rapids and WWMT-TV in Kalamazoo reported that the heart was discovered Monday by the owner of the Paw Paw car wash.

Headline: Burger King unveils body spray
Clip from: guardian.co.uk
Date of clip: 17.12.8
Caption: Meaty Smelly

Burger King releases fragrance described as 'the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat'