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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Caption: Super Woman

Headline: Teenage handbag thief outpaced by 72-year-old ex-sprinter
Clip from: telegraph.co.uk
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: Super Woman
A teenage thief picked on the wrong victim when she tried to run off with a bag belonging to pensioner Jean Hirst - a former championship sprinter.
The schoolgirl was surprised to discover her victim, a former All England Schools championship sprinter, still had a turn of pace - at the age of 72.

As Mrs Hirst gave chase, she soon began to close on the culprit who was forced to throw down the bag in her desperation to escape.

The retired teacher had allowed three teenage girls into her car to help her with directions after getting lost on the way to a theatre.

She was straight out of the starting blocks again, however, when one of them took advantage and tried to make off with her bag.

Mrs Hirst said: "Suddenly I felt 18 again. The adrenaline just kicked in and I seemed to turn back the years...

Headline: Zoo Offers Valentine's Day Special: Animal Sex Tours
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: So, go ahead and fire me
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — The Binder Park Zoo in Battle Creek is hosting an exotic afternoon on Valentine's Day to educate people about animal attraction.

"Zoorotica" is a program for adults 21 and older that will provide an unabashed look at the mating habits of wild animals...
The tour will make stops at exhibits and barns housing snow leopards, giraffes, zebras, primates, reptiles and other creatures.

Headline: County Grants Commissioner's Request To Be Fired
Clip from: CBSnews.com
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: So, go ahead and fire me
Cheboygan County plans to fire its drain commissioner _ at his request.

The board of commissioners approved a resolution Wednesday to abolish the post of drain commissioner. Dennis Lennox was elected last November after campaigning on a promise to get rid of the job.

He says it's not needed because Cheboygan County has no drains to regulate.

State law requires that counties with more than 12,000 residents elect a drain commissioner. The post dates to Michigan's statehood in 1837, when local officials were in charge of developing and managing drainage ditches to eradicate swamplands.

Headline: Gang After Drugs Holds Up Family at Wrong Address
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: Sorry, Wrong Place, But While We're Here...
sA British family settling down for a dinner party were held up by an armed gang who burst into their house and threatened their 5-year-old daughter.

The gang of up to five men, all wearing hats or hoods with scarves covering their faces, demanded that the terrified owners and their two guests tell them where they "kept the drugs."

The family could not give the gang what they wanted because the men had targeted the wrong home in Croydon, South London.

Frustrated at their lack of success, the gang threatened to hurt the young girl and a shot was fired.

The family and friends were waiting for another couple on Saturday night when there was a knock at the door. When the homeowner opened the door he was confronted by the masked gang who forced him back into the dining room.

He suffered minor injuries as he was bundled back into the house and was hit with the gun.

The little girl began crying and the gang said they would hurt her unless the adults handed over the drugs.

Eventually the gang was persuaded that there were no drugs in the house, so they took everyone's cell phones and jewelry.

Headline: Nude nuptials for 250-guest wedding
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 12.2.9
Caption: Nudies in Wedding
ELLIE Barton and Phil Hendicott will bare all when the couple tie the knot au naturel as part of a radio station's naked wedding competition in Brisbane.


And for Ellie, at least, it will be a welcome relief from the daily fitness workouts the couple have endured in the lead-up to their flesh-fest nuptials, which will take place before 250 (fully clothed) guests at Brisbane's upmarket Gianni's Events restaurant at Portside.

"We started working out with a personal trainer the day we found out we won the competition," Ellie admitted to Confidential ahead of tomorrow's wedding.

"When I first started I said to him: 'Right, this is what I want us to work on - abs and bum.' So ever since then he has been killing me every morning.

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