I did not know I'm dead

Headline: 'There's no money for you - you're dead'
Clip: news.com.au 2.5.9
Caption: I did not know I'm dead

A VICTORIAN pensioner got the fright of his life when he was told by Centrelink workers he was listed as dead.

Clive Norton, 71, was told Centrelink records showed he died on April 8.

"I was pretty upset and just dumbfounded for a while," the Ballarat man said.

His wife, Denise, 61, even received a Centrelink payment for $2292 for funeral expences..

Headline: Husband's 365 nights of birthday sex
Clip: news.com.au 1.5.9
Caption: Sex for a year from dear

A US woman has written a book about the unusual gift she gave her husband for his 40th birthday - 365 nights of sex.
High-flying PR exec Charla Muller, from North Carolina, hit upon the idea for her salesman husband Brad, now 42, and has written a book about the year. Here's some of the excerpts printed in The Sun:

Headline: Barbecue Joint Needs Permit For Busty Mannequin
Clip: news.com.au 1.5.9
Caption: A sign for fines

A man who runs a suburban Cincinnati barbecue joint says the busty mannequin he put out front has been good for business, but city officials say he needs a permit to keep her there. The Design and Review Board in suburban Reading said under city rules, the figure is considered a sign, requiring a permit.

Headline: Man Asks To Join Brother In Jail And Gets His Wish
Clip: news.com.au 1.5.9
Caption: Birds of a feather

Police said a man wanted to go to jail with his arrested brother, so he shoved an officer and got his wish. David Jacob Ginnis, 35, pleaded guilty Wednesday to assault on a police officer and was sentenced to 30 days in jail, with the full sentence suspended.

Miracle

Headline: Snowboarder survives three nights in -21C
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 1.1.9
Caption: Miracle

A SNOWBOARDER has been found "frozen stiff" but alive after three days lost on a Canadian mountain.
James William Martin, 21, was discovered in the snow with frostbite on his hands and unable to walk.

"It's wonderful to live another day ... to live another year," he said today. "It's wonderful to make it out alive."

Mr Martin went missing near Mount Seymour, north of Vancouver, and was eventually found when a search party spotted and followed his tracks.

He had survived three days in bone-chilling conditions, with temperatures dropping as low as minus 21 Celsius, without any extreme weather equipment.

Headline: Man Shoots Friend's Car With Paintballs to Deter DUI
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 1.1.9
Caption: DUI Paintballed

A man who reportedly told police he was trying to deter a friend from driving drunk by blasting the friend's windshield with paintballs wound up in jail.

"This is a very creative way to prevent someone from drinking and driving, but not legal or safe," said Sgt. Ken Lattin.

Responding Tuesday night to a nearby resident's report of a man shooting paintballs at a car, police found the 41-year-old man, who explained his rationale.

The Tri-City Herald reported the man was arrested and booked into the Benton County jail for investigation of unlawfully discharging a weapon and an unrelated misdemeanor warrant.

Headline: Sneaking Teens Stranded for 3 Days: We Are Idiots
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 1.1.9
Caption: They are idiots

Two rescued Australian teenagers say they were idiots for getting lost for three days in rugged bushland after trying to sneak into a Victorian music festival without tickets.
Harry Wild and Ryan Hurley, both 19, had been trying to find a back way into the Falls Music Festival, near Lorne on the Great Ocean Road.
But their plans went awry when the pair lost cell phone reception and ended up getting lost....
"We know we are idiots, we think we are so silly. I just what to thank everyone who was involved in the process."

Headline: Woman Out for Walk Finds Mummified Head in Bag
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 1.1.9
Caption: No sense losing your head over it.

A human head was found in a bag by a British woman out for a morning walk Wednesday.

The gruesome discovery was made in the Newhaven area of Edinburgh.

Lothian and Borders Police have launched an investigation.

It is thought the head may be several years old and it is not known how long it had been there.

Police said the head "appeared to be mummified."

It was found on a public footpath at Hawthornvale. The woman who found it raised the alarm at 1030 a.m.