Excuse me sir, you seem to have a tree growing inside you.

Headline: Doctors 'find tree in man's lung'
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 15.4.9
Caption: Excuse me sir, you seem to have a tree growing inside you.

SURPRISED surgeons performing a lung cancer operation apparently found a 5cm fir tree growing inside the patient.
The Daily Mail reports doctors thought Russian man Artyom Sidorkin, 28, had a tumour after he complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood.

The x-ray image shows what looks like a large tumour in his lung.

During the operation, surgeon Vladimir Kamashev said he thought he was hallucinating when he saw the fir tree needles inside the tissue.

Medical staff said the 5cm tree is too big to be swallowed and believe Mr Sidorkin had inhaled a seed which later sprouted.

Headline: Mums and babies break out of jail
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 15.4.9
Caption: The Great Escape

SIX mothers escaped with their newborn babies from a prison maternity ward, say authorities in the Brazilian city of Sao Paulo.

The fugitive mothers were recaptured after they used improvised knives to overpower guards and drugged guard dogs to flee the secure facility, Associated Press reports.

Headline: Woman's 'mid-air sex romp' next to son
Origin of Clip: news.com.au 14.4.9
Caption: Sex Education

A MOTHER accused of having a mid-air sex romp with another woman's boyfriend reportedly had her young son beside her at the time.
Clare Irby, 29, allegedly pleasured Daniel Melia, 36, under a blanket as his drunken model girlfriend lay passed out next to them, The Sun reported.

Clare’s son James, two, was said to be curled up alongside on the Bangalore-Heathrow flight. It is believed he was asleep.

Model Sarah Hannon, 35, screamed as she woke up and found the pair being stopped in the act by hostesses.

The trio were arrested at Heathrow and child care was found for James.

Ms Irby and student Mr Melia, 36 were arrested for gross indecency, while Ms Hannon was held for being drunk on an aircraft.

Headline: Money Stuffed in Bra Saves Woman From Bullet
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 14.4.9
Caption: A Real Wonder Bra

A Brazilian woman survived being shot in the chest Saturday by robbers because cash she had stashed in her bra absorbed the impact of the bullet, the Telegraph reported.

Ivonete Pereira, 58, was riding a bus in the northeast Brazilian state of Bahia when it was held up by armed robbers.

Aware of frequent highway robberies, Pereira had stuffed $67 in cash in the left cup of her bra.

During a shootout with a police officer, a stray bullet hit Pereira in the chest.

The cash was enough to absorb enough impact of the bullet to save her life. She was still taken to the hospital to have the bullet removed.

Headline: Husband 'fleeced wife using spy lies'
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 14.4.9
Caption: Fleeced right down to the budgie

A MAN allegedly fleeced his new wife of her life savings before telling her she faced being killed by ASIO.

Single mother Karen Roberts believed she had met the man of her dreams when she bumped into Wayne David Charters at the Ulysses Motorcycle Club at Mornington, south of Melbourne, in February 2003.

They shared an interest in dolphins, motorcycle riding, art and spirituality.

The Melbourne Magistrates Court was told today that Ms Roberts believed her new partner lived an exciting double life as an ASIO agent whose cover was to work as a carpet layer in suburban Melbourne.

Within a few months the couple was married and Mr Charters allegedly convinced Ms Roberts to sell everything she owned so they could relocate overseas.

Ms Roberts obliged and in statements tendered to the court she described selling her house, which she believes was valued at $280,000, her car and even a pet budgie.

Headline: Girl Born 22 Years After Father's Sperm Frozen
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 14.4.9
Caption: How old is the girl in 'sperm years'?

A former leukemia patient who had his sperm frozen as a teenager has fathered a baby after doctors successfully thawed his sample a record 22 years later.

Chris Biblis was 16 when doctors told him that he needed radiotherapy that would leave him sterile and recommended before going ahead with the life-saving treatment that they put a sample of his sperm into cryogenic storage for future use.

Now aged 38, he is celebrating the birth of a healthy baby daughter, Stella, who was conceived after scientists injected a defrosted sperm into an egg from his wife, Melodie, and implanted it in her uterus.

The 22-year lapse between storage in April 1986 and conception in June 2008 is a world record, according to specialists at the U.S. fertility clinic who carried out the procedure.

Headline: Passenger lands plane after pilot dies
Origin of Clip: CNN.com 13.4.9
Caption: You Can Fly

It's a nightmarish scenario straight out of the movies: A passenger is forced to land a plane after its pilot becomes incapacitated. But it became a reality for a passenger on board a plane over Florida on Sunday, and for the air traffic controllers who helped him land safely in what the National Air Traffic Controllers'

Headline: Norwegian sex at 100mph
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 13.4.9
Caption: Speed Sex 100MPH

The unnamed couple, a 28-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman, were caught in the act late on Easter Sunday by traffic police on the E18 highway, some 25 miles west of Oslo.

Officers who clocked the couple's silver Mazda 323 racing at 133 kilometres per hour in a 100 zone realised they were doing more than just breaking the speed limit, police told AFP.

It was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say," said Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerund district police.

"He couldn't see much because her back was in the way," he added.

"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know."

After following the couple for nearly a kilometre, officers pulled the car over at a service station.

"We have taken away his driving licence because of the danger that he caused," Mr Hagen said.

Headline: Bomb Squad Called In to Defuse ... Prosthetic Leg
Origin of Clip: FOXNews.com 13.4.9
Caption:

HILLSBORO, Ore. — A scary situation turned into a strange one when a bomb squad determined that a suspicious package left outside the Washington County Sheriff's Office contained a prosthetic leg.

Sheriff's Sgt. Vance Stimler said deputies called the Portland bomb squad out to Hillsboro Sunday afternoon after noticing a canvas bag with a cylinder-shaped object sticking out.

Porcupine Capers

Headline: Porcupine Plague Causes $100K In Damage In Colo.
From: CBsnews.com
Date of clip: 2.1.9
Caption: Porcupine capers

Porcupines are becoming a prickly pest for Telluride-area residents. Residents said the rodents are chomping on the bark of spruce trees, yard trees, and have killed 50-foot-high native trees. The damage is estimated at more than $100,000 in the Mountain Village above Telluride.

Porcupines also favor salty and sweaty items, so plywood treated with a sodium-based substance has become attractive to them. They've also munched on shoes, vehicle tires, and tool handles.

Headline: Stressed pets becoming pill-poppers
From: news.com.au
Date of clip: 2.1.9
Caption: Pooch pops pills

VETERINARIANS are being pressured by pet owners to prescribe pills to counter a range of physical and mental conditions in cats and dogs.

Brisbane veterinarian and former Australian Veterinary Association president Diane Sheehan said yesterday that some pet owners trawled the internet looking for solutions for pet misbehaviour.

Owners were seeking to address problems in their pets including obesity, amnesia, separation anxiety, depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, The Courier-Mail reports.

Prescribing pills to alter pet behaviour in the US has ballooned into a $US33 billion a year industry and has taken off in Australia and Britain.

Dr Sheehan said the amount of pet drugs available had at least doubled in the past two decades.

Headline: 'Hello, 911? I'm Drunk Driving Right Now'
From: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 2.1.9 (original date: 2.12.8)
Caption: Drunk and stupid

A 17-year-old girl in Bismarck called 911 on New Year's Eve "to report herself driving under the influence," police Lt. Randy Ziegler said. "I've never heard of such a thing happening, and neither has anyone here."

The girl told authorities her location shortly before midnight Wednesday and officers found her in a parked car near downtown, Ziegler said. She failed a sobriety test and was arrested for failing to have control of her vehicle while intoxicated.

Headline: Thousands of Shoes Block Miami Traffic
From: news.scotsman.com
Date of clip: 2.1.9
Caption: Shoemaker Woes

Thousands of shoes were dumped on a Miami expressway causing significant traffic delays.
The Florida Highway Patrol received the report during rush hour Friday morning, Lt. Pat Santangelo said. A private contractor brought a front-end loader and a dump truck to the half-mile stretch of highway. Workers were able to clear at least one lane after a short time by sweeping all the shoes to shoulder, but delays were expected to last until all the shoes could be removed.

Oh Christmas Tree

Headline: Cops: Florida Man Attacked Father With Christmas Tree
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 2.12.8
Caption: Not the true meaning of Christmas.

Authorities say a west Florida man who lives with his parents has been arrested on a felony assault charge after he used a Christmas tree as a weapon to attack his father.

According to the Manatee County sheriff's report, 37-year-old Thomas Edward Lackie was arrested last week after he threw a 3-foot Christmas tree at his father. The tree missed, but Lackie then tried to use the steel base from the tree to strike his father.

His father and mother were able to grab Lackie's arms to prevent the attack. Deputies say the tree could have caused serious injuries because the metal base weighs about five pounds.

Headline: Man Says God Ordered Him to Ram Vehicle at 100 MPH
Clip from: FOXNews.com
Date of clip: 2.12.8
Caption: Confused, the devil made him do it.

SAN ANTONIO — A man who rammed his truck into a woman's vehicle on a highway early Friday told authorities he crashed into her while going more than 100 mph because God told him "she needed to be taken off the road."

The truck rear-ended the car on U.S. Highway 281 and both vehicles spun across a median before coming to a stop along a barrier in the opposite lanes.

Headline: Bill shock puts woman in hospital
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 2.12.8
Caption: It would be a shocking experience.

AN elderly South Australian Housing Trust resident was so upset to receive a quarterly electricity bill for almost $4500 she ended up in hospital.

Greenwith widowed pensioner Wilma Verneulem, 72, yesterday told The Advertiser she was stunned to open an account from energy provider AGL demanding $4489.71 for just three months of electricity use.

Headline: Deer Gets Revenge After Hunter Shoots Him
Clip from: CBS.com
Date of clip: 1.12.8
Caption: Didn't this happen in a cartoon?

A hunter bagged a big buck on the second day of firearms season, but the kill caused him a lot of pain. Randy Goodman, 49, said he thought two well-placed shots with his .270-caliber rifle had killed the buck on Nov. 19. Goodman said the deer looked dead to him, but seconds later the nine-point, 240-pound animal came to life.

The buck rose up, knocked Goodman down and attacked him with his antlers in what the veteran hunter called "15 seconds of hell." The deer ran a short distance and went down, and died after Goodman fired two more shots.

Headline: Thief Steals Thanksgiving Dinner Off Woman's Porch
Clip from: CBS.com
Date of clip: 1.12.8
Caption: Didn't this happen in a cartoon?

A Wisconsin family found it hard to be thankful after a thief made off with their turkey dinner.

Lillian Moore says she sent a cooler stuffed with Thanksgiving food to her daughter Cindy, only to have it stolen from her porch.

Moore packed the cooler with half a turkey, potatoes and salad. She left it on her daughter's porch Wednesday evening because her daughter's refrigerator was too small to hold the food.

When Cindy Moore went to get the turkey Thanksgiving morning, the cooler was gone.

Cindy Moore says she had to buy turkey using money she sets aside for bills. The disabled single mother didn't bother reporting the theft to police.

Headline: Cheap sex - the credit crunch is biting under the sheets
Clip from: BBC.co.uk
Date of clip: 1.12.8
Caption: Somethings in life are free--until the baby comes along

As the credit crunch bites, Britons may be turning to sex as a cheap way to pass the time, a charity says.

A YouGov survey of 2,000 adults found sex was the most popular free activity, ahead of window shopping and gossiping.

The Scots were most amorous with 43% choosing sex over other pastimes, compared with 35% in South England.

Aids charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, which published the survey, also welcomed recent figures showing an increase in condom sales.

Around one in 10 respondents to the survey, carried in November, said their favourite free activity was window shopping and 6% chose going to a museum as the cheapest way to pass the time.

Headline: Sweet Jesus that's distasteful
Clip from: news.com.au
Date of clip: 1.12.8
Caption: Much like when the real Jesus was put to death because leaders hated him.

GERMANY'S churches have criticised a businessman for selling thousands of Jesus chocolates.
Frank Oynhausen set up his “Sweet Lord” chocolate Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany.

“I started thinking about how I could reintroduce traditional religious values into this commercial world,” Mr Oynhausen said .

Together with a friend, a local chocolatier, Mr Oynhausen, 54, developed the concept of “Sweet Lord.” Mr Oynhausen said thousands of people have put in orders for the figures wrapped in gold foil.